Leap into the psychology of @dremilyanhalt
I organized and distilled her last 3,000 tweets into a summary of her big ideas, in two parts...
Part 1⃣: Emotional Fitness and Human Behavior
I organized and distilled her last 3,000 tweets into a summary of her big ideas, in two parts...
Part 1⃣: Emotional Fitness and Human Behavior
First things first, learn to feel…
🔷Your emotions are healthy and important
🔷Feel them, even the messy ones
🔷Try not to stuff them down into your body
🔷You’re allowed to have complicated feelings about simple things
🔷Create the space for the full range of feeling
🔷Your emotions are healthy and important
🔷Feel them, even the messy ones
🔷Try not to stuff them down into your body
🔷You’re allowed to have complicated feelings about simple things
🔷Create the space for the full range of feeling
Face your tough experiences and dig into them…
🔷Unearth what you’ve turned away from
🔷Discover what you need to talk about and gain conviction in your resilience and strength
🔷It’s next to impossible to change things without facing them
🔷Unearth what you’ve turned away from
🔷Discover what you need to talk about and gain conviction in your resilience and strength
🔷It’s next to impossible to change things without facing them
What we do to avoid suffering is often worse than the suffering itself…
🔷Suffering is normal, and normal people suffer
🔷Healthy pain isn’t a pathology and normal suffering isn’t a stigma
🔷Sometimes we thrive; other times all we can do is barely make it through
🔷Suffering is normal, and normal people suffer
🔷Healthy pain isn’t a pathology and normal suffering isn’t a stigma
🔷Sometimes we thrive; other times all we can do is barely make it through
Remind yourself, we all work hard NOT to know things…
🔷We hide ourselves from ourselves better than we hide ourselves from others
🔷We store our experiences and emotions in places we have no conscious access to
🔷We hide ourselves from ourselves better than we hide ourselves from others
🔷We store our experiences and emotions in places we have no conscious access to
Build the safety, ability, and strength to know things you’ve worked hard not to know…
🔷In other words, walk the path to self-awareness
🔷What you want is waiting along the way
🔷Switch from "how is this happening to me?" to "how am I happening to this?"
🔷In other words, walk the path to self-awareness
🔷What you want is waiting along the way
🔷Switch from "how is this happening to me?" to "how am I happening to this?"
Get comfortable being uncomfortable…
🔷Not all pain comes to harm you
🔷Know the only way out is through
🔷Your job is to understand and manage your own discomfort
🔷You already know what to do, you just need help understanding why you’re not doing it
🔷Not all pain comes to harm you
🔷Know the only way out is through
🔷Your job is to understand and manage your own discomfort
🔷You already know what to do, you just need help understanding why you’re not doing it
Understand pain, trauma – and healing – are passed down from generation to generation
🔷Give others more compassion than you were given
🔷It puts you in touch with an alternate reality you never had
🔷Everyone who comes after you will benefit
🔷Give others more compassion than you were given
🔷It puts you in touch with an alternate reality you never had
🔷Everyone who comes after you will benefit
Turn your compassion inward…
🔷Talk back to your inner critic (without dismissing it)
🔷Be careful how you talk to yourself (you’re listening)
🔷Don’t be cruel (you wouldn’t be cruel to your best friend)
🔷Name the things you love (and don’t take too long to name yourself)
🔷Talk back to your inner critic (without dismissing it)
🔷Be careful how you talk to yourself (you’re listening)
🔷Don’t be cruel (you wouldn’t be cruel to your best friend)
🔷Name the things you love (and don’t take too long to name yourself)
Grieve small losses in your everyday life…
🔷Growth and grief are intertwined
🔷With every choice we make, we must mourn the loss of all we didn't choose
🔷Honor that process for even the smallest day-to-day losses
🔷Grieving small losses prevents big pain
🔷Growth and grief are intertwined
🔷With every choice we make, we must mourn the loss of all we didn't choose
🔷Honor that process for even the smallest day-to-day losses
🔷Grieving small losses prevents big pain
Don’t suffer future pain…
🔷We sometimes believe the worrying itself keeps bad things from happening
🔷We worry if we stop worrying, our greatest fears will come true
🔷Instead of preoccupying yourself about something that might happen, master the art of optimistic rationalism
🔷We sometimes believe the worrying itself keeps bad things from happening
🔷We worry if we stop worrying, our greatest fears will come true
🔷Instead of preoccupying yourself about something that might happen, master the art of optimistic rationalism
Keep going…
🔷If you’re not asking for support, ask for it
🔷If you’re not forgiving yourself, forgive yourself
🔷If you’re not thanking other people, thank them
🔷Epiphanies are almost always a result of many seemingly unproductive hours of work
🔷If you’re not asking for support, ask for it
🔷If you’re not forgiving yourself, forgive yourself
🔷If you’re not thanking other people, thank them
🔷Epiphanies are almost always a result of many seemingly unproductive hours of work
See the full person in yourself and others…
🔷Goodness and badness exist within each of us
🔷Cancel culture is an inability to hold the two together
🔷Weaponized shame does not tend to help people
🔷We must educate instead of shame ourselves, and learn not to think in extremes
🔷Goodness and badness exist within each of us
🔷Cancel culture is an inability to hold the two together
🔷Weaponized shame does not tend to help people
🔷We must educate instead of shame ourselves, and learn not to think in extremes
Set boundaries…
🔷Figure out what your needs are and communicate them
🔷Free up space for productive pursuits, even if you’re still hurt
🔷Put some emotional distance between you and people who need to do their own work
🔷You don’t have to rebuild a relationship with everyone
🔷Figure out what your needs are and communicate them
🔷Free up space for productive pursuits, even if you’re still hurt
🔷Put some emotional distance between you and people who need to do their own work
🔷You don’t have to rebuild a relationship with everyone
To understand yourself and others, listen…
🔷Listen quietly
🔷Listen intently
🔷Listen empathetically
🔷Talk less, be present more, and allow for pauses…
🔷Don’t give advice
🔷Don’t feel compelled to fix
🔷And don’t think of what to say next
🔷Listen quietly
🔷Listen intently
🔷Listen empathetically
🔷Talk less, be present more, and allow for pauses…
🔷Don’t give advice
🔷Don’t feel compelled to fix
🔷And don’t think of what to say next
Ask deepening questions and add empathy to your judgments…
🔷Show you’re present with nods not words
🔷Practice getting comfortable with silence, and become fluent in the language of silence
🔷Every time you feel disdain for someone else, you reveal an unhealed part of yourself
🔷Show you’re present with nods not words
🔷Practice getting comfortable with silence, and become fluent in the language of silence
🔷Every time you feel disdain for someone else, you reveal an unhealed part of yourself
Help people move toward who they want to be…
🔷Assume best intentions
🔷Meet others where they are
🔷Approach your interactions with openness
🔷Don’t ask. Just help. Think of something that would be helpful, and then do it
🔷As you elevate others, others will carry you up
🔷Assume best intentions
🔷Meet others where they are
🔷Approach your interactions with openness
🔷Don’t ask. Just help. Think of something that would be helpful, and then do it
🔷As you elevate others, others will carry you up
Improve your conversations…
🔷When you don’t know what to say, don’t say anything
🔷When you don’t know how to support someone, say, “How can I support you?”
🔷When you don’t know how someone is feeling, say, “How are you feeling about this?”
🔷When you don’t know what to say, don’t say anything
🔷When you don’t know how to support someone, say, “How can I support you?”
🔷When you don’t know how someone is feeling, say, “How are you feeling about this?”
Improve your conversations…
🔷Don’t say, “You never”
🔷Don’t say, “You always”
🔷Don’t say, “This is your fault”
🔷Don’t say, “It’s fine (if it’s not)”
🔷Don’t say, “That’s your problem”
🔷Don’t say, “You’re being too sensitive”
🔷Don’t say, “I told you this would happen”
🔷Don’t say, “You never”
🔷Don’t say, “You always”
🔷Don’t say, “This is your fault”
🔷Don’t say, “It’s fine (if it’s not)”
🔷Don’t say, “That’s your problem”
🔷Don’t say, “You’re being too sensitive”
🔷Don’t say, “I told you this would happen”
Improve your conversations…
🔷Say, “I hear you, and I’m here with you”
🔷Ask, “Can you say more about that?”
🔷Say, “What I think I’m hearing is...”
🔷Ask, “Does that resonate with you?”
🔷Say, “I imagine you might be feeling...”
🔷Say, “You’re not alone in this"
🔷Say, “I hear you, and I’m here with you”
🔷Ask, “Can you say more about that?”
🔷Say, “What I think I’m hearing is...”
🔷Ask, “Does that resonate with you?”
🔷Say, “I imagine you might be feeling...”
🔷Say, “You’re not alone in this"
Practice the lost art of accepting a compliment…
🔷Don’t deny it
🔷Don’t minimize it
🔷Don’t throw it right back
🔷Instead, feel it
🔷Let it settle
🔷And be grateful for it
🔷Don’t deny it
🔷Don’t minimize it
🔷Don’t throw it right back
🔷Instead, feel it
🔷Let it settle
🔷And be grateful for it
In sum, get some…
🔷Emotional fitness
🔷Self-awareness
🔷Boundaries
🔷And therapy!
🔷Emotional fitness
🔷Self-awareness
🔷Boundaries
🔷And therapy!
Therapy works (and it’s not a court of law)…
🔷It’s a time to process
🔷It’s a space to be heard
🔷It’s an opportunity to create tracks in the snow
🔷It lets you try on thoughts & feelings
🔷It lets you decide whether they’re right
🔷It lets you completely change your mind
🔷It’s a time to process
🔷It’s a space to be heard
🔷It’s an opportunity to create tracks in the snow
🔷It lets you try on thoughts & feelings
🔷It lets you decide whether they’re right
🔷It lets you completely change your mind
Remember: holy shit, you’re alive!
🔷Take a breath, open a window, and move around
🔷Be grateful, be present, and thank someone who’s helped you
🔷Enjoy your day, you don’t have an unlimited number left!
🔷Take a breath, open a window, and move around
🔷Be grateful, be present, and thank someone who’s helped you
🔷Enjoy your day, you don’t have an unlimited number left!
Find the rest here...
Part 2⃣: Quotes on the Human Condition
And follow me for more Big Idea Summaries 🙌
letter.substack.com/p/the-best-of-…
Part 2⃣: Quotes on the Human Condition
And follow me for more Big Idea Summaries 🙌
letter.substack.com/p/the-best-of-…
