Thread by @matt_cam

I don't actually have to read this, do I?

Like, no one is going to make me read this

Please don't make me read this

I'm reading this

Would it surprise you to learn that the Trump administration is making a spirited argument herein that undocumented residents of the United States are not "persons" for Constitutional purposes?

They... do know that Dredd Scott is not actually still good law? Don't they?

Look, I don't know the first thing about census law. But I do know that when the Constitution says you have to count "persons" that you don't just get to make up a distinction re: "inhabitants."

(Also, nearly all of my clients are habitated just as firmly in MA as I am.)

Weird passive-aggressive reference here to California, a state which already has 53 House seats.

Would our weary nation be plunged into anarchy if that were 55-56? It would not.

Do I really have to keep reading this horseshit? Can someone please give me permission to stop

oh ok then

I mean for a minute there I was really wondering how the definitionally impossible task of counting people who are extremely uninterested in being noticed by federal authorities was going to be carried out, this paragraph really clears ALL of that right up

Anyway, if you do care how this practically impossible and plainly illegal thing is supposed to happen--and I really can't stress at this point how much I don't, because it never will--it's all here in this truly dumbass EO from 11 days ago

whitehouse.gov/presidential-a…

One hundred percent of the population!

LOL (actual)

Godspeed, fuckos

Do you know how many people I've met in the last 15 years who don't even know what their own immigration status (including citizenship!) is?

You'd have better luck (and, really, much better use of federal resources) determining the *sexual preferences* of 100% of the population

No one should be expected to take this seriously, including the people who wrote & promulgated it. Between the Constitution, the #SCOTUS order, and the practical reality of it all this is not worth beginning to even consider starting to think about analyzing as serious policy

Looks like the Census Department literally hasn't gotten the memo

census.gov/population/app…