Lawyers: Westlaw is down!!
Brett Kavanaugh: What's Westlaw?
Noel Francisco: Something that has no bearing on our work, Mr. Justice sir.
Brett Kavanaugh: What's Westlaw?
Noel Francisco: Something that has no bearing on our work, Mr. Justice sir.
Gorsuch clerks: Westlaw is down, sir.
Neil Gorsuch: This is why I tell you kids to keep a hard copy of the Hammurabi Code and Lex Julia.
Neil Gorsuch: This is why I tell you kids to keep a hard copy of the Hammurabi Code and Lex Julia.
Kagan clerks: Westlaw is down.
Kagan: Did they close the library?
Clerks: No.
Kagan: Then why the hell are you still standing there?
Clerks: Oh, yeah, uhh...
Kagan: Wear a mask.
Kagan: Did they close the library?
Clerks: No.
Kagan: Then why the hell are you still standing there?
Clerks: Oh, yeah, uhh...
Kagan: Wear a mask.
Sonia Sotomayor: Do you guys know how to do the photoshop?
Clerks: Yeah. Why?
Sotomayor: Westlaw is down. I can't write my dissent.
Clerks: Okay.
Sotomayor: So, I'm going to need you to just get a picture of Roger Taney, superimposed with the Ghostbusters logo.
Clerks: Yeah. Why?
Sotomayor: Westlaw is down. I can't write my dissent.
Clerks: Okay.
Sotomayor: So, I'm going to need you to just get a picture of Roger Taney, superimposed with the Ghostbusters logo.
Clerks: Westlaw is down.
Samuel Alito: It's over? I can go home?
Mitch McConnell: Yes.
Clerks: No, you are a justice of the Supreme Court for life.
Alito: THIS IS HELL!
Clerks: Sorry.
Alito: Let me know when it's back up. I'm going to go punch something beautiful until it dies.
Samuel Alito: It's over? I can go home?
Mitch McConnell: Yes.
Clerks: No, you are a justice of the Supreme Court for life.
Alito: THIS IS HELL!
Clerks: Sorry.
Alito: Let me know when it's back up. I'm going to go punch something beautiful until it dies.
Stephen Breyer: Guys, did you know Westlaw was down?
Clerks: We're copy and pasting your prior opinions into new opinions right now.
Breyer: Good. Do you think the Chief will agree this time?
Clerks: He's too busy trying to keep Brett from streaking during this down time.
Clerks: We're copy and pasting your prior opinions into new opinions right now.
Breyer: Good. Do you think the Chief will agree this time?
Clerks: He's too busy trying to keep Brett from streaking during this down time.
Clerks: Justice, Westlaw is down.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg: It's okay, I remember them.
Clerks: We mean, like, we don't have a great way to read old cases right now.
Ginsburg: I said it was okay, I REMEMBER THEM.
Clerks: All of...
Ginsburg: Yes.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg: It's okay, I remember them.
Clerks: We mean, like, we don't have a great way to read old cases right now.
Ginsburg: I said it was okay, I REMEMBER THEM.
Clerks: All of...
Ginsburg: Yes.
Clerks: Justice Thomas, there's no Westlaw.
Clarence Thomas: Every one of those majority opinions was wrong.
Clerks: That's a bold claim.
Thomas: It's always bold to stand up for the parts of the Constitution I agree with.
Clarence Thomas: Every one of those majority opinions was wrong.
Clerks: That's a bold claim.
Thomas: It's always bold to stand up for the parts of the Constitution I agree with.
Chief Justice John Roberts: I'm sorry to inform that nation that Westlaw is down. As a result, the Supreme Court will rule on no cases whatsoever for the next five years.
Unless, of course, black people ask to vote, which we all know is unconstitutional.
Unless, of course, black people ask to vote, which we all know is unconstitutional.
