I have a dang hard time finding information about in online, I think because so many of the keywords just bring up legit medical stuff, but I have read in a couple of places about a married couple that claimed they could give cancer screenings via spy satellite.
It worked something like this: at fancy rich people dinner parties, when asked what he did, the husband would start off being evasive before "admitting", reluctantly, that he worked with the CIA and couldn't say much about it.
That would get people to beg him to say more, so he'd say something like, "Let's just say you can't believe what we can do with surveillance satellites these days." and then when pressed, they'd be like, "Oh, well, if a US adversary dies suddenly it can throw a region into chaos"
and say that they use satellites to keep track of the biometric data and vital signs and symptoms of various foreign leaders like Fidel Castro, so that we're not taken by surprise.
And when people ask how accurate that could be, one of them would drop into a low whisper and admit that, well, sometimes when they don't feel like going to the doctor for a check-up, they just sneak a request into the queue and the next time the satellite passes over...
And, oh, what a lark! And maybe someone's interested in this service or perhaps better, they're curious but a little dubious of it, so the couple offers to prove it by tasking a satellite to give them a physical.
Now the person is inside the LARP.
Now the person is inside the LARP.
All of this didn't necessarily come out at a single party, of course. It would have been dragged out of the couple over time, gradually adding new details to the story that their rich friends had already accepted, if not as true than not worth challenging.
What makes this a con and not just a lie, of course, is the presence of a sting.
The sting comes when the results come in and... it's bad. Cancer. Advanced stage, requires immediate treatment.
But... they broke the law to learn this. Technically it's espionage.
The sting comes when the results come in and... it's bad. Cancer. Advanced stage, requires immediate treatment.
But... they broke the law to learn this. Technically it's espionage.
Can't just go to a doctor and reveal the existence of a top-secret surveillance operation that's not even supposed to be possible, that might be treason!
Good news, though. The CIA also has a secret medical program for keeping people alive they need to keep in power.
Good news, though. The CIA also has a secret medical program for keeping people alive they need to keep in power.
The highly trained stealth doctors don't always know who they're treating or why, but of course, they don't ask questions. They just do it. Quickly. Quietly. Discreetly. Leaving not a trace behind to prove they even visited their sleeping patients.
Of course, here's where we run into difficulty: the spy satellites are just up there all the time and they have a lot of unused time because there's only so much demand for their unique capabilities. It's easy to requisition time on them. But the Dr. McNinjas get paid dark money.
It doesn't matter where the money comes from, there doesn't have to be and in fact there can't be a record of where that money comes from, it just has to be paid for.
And this *is* a matter of life and death...
And this *is* a matter of life and death...
Now, you hear this and you think it sounds absolutely ridiculous. Who would fall for it?
But by the time they bring up the delicate matter of money, their marks have already fallen for it. They were seduced by the mystique and romance of the secretive job.
But by the time they bring up the delicate matter of money, their marks have already fallen for it. They were seduced by the mystique and romance of the secretive job.
Maybe nine out of ten people they tried it on, maybe more, rolled their eyes and said, "Sure, yeah, right." at the mention of the CIA.
Those people weren't the marks.
Those people weren't the marks.
Now to get a little meta - I can't find a single trace of this story online. I did a few years back, but it was a single mention that linked to somewhere that didn't exist anymore. And even that page is now offline.
I don't remember where I read about this.
I don't remember where I read about this.
At a guess I would say it was Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, or Cracked, or both. It might have been a book about con artists. Any one of those things might have sourced directly from any other.
What I'm saying is: this might be a myth. The con's existence may be a fish story.
What I'm saying is: this might be a myth. The con's existence may be a fish story.
I can't tell you the people's names, I cannot swear to you that it happened, and in fact all I can tell you is the way I imagine it happening based on my hazy recollections and general knowledge of con artistry.
So in telling you this story, I might be the one who is dragging others into an alternate reality based on an elaborate fantasy.
Or then again, perhaps not.
