Thread by @RGAMeyer

Today I want to bake Agege bread.
I am TIRED of craving Agege bread.
No...I am not a baker at all.
Mr Meyer is the baker in this family.
So, this may flop.🥺

But I'm ready to die trying ✌
I will update this tweet as I go.

Recipe is from @OunjeAladun:
ounjealadun.com/2020/04/26/hom…

First things first.
Wash your work surfaces. Hands and table.
Use food-safe oils (sunflowee or coconut) to moisturise your hands.
Ashy skin ain't cute.

No, none of this is in the recipe 😭

Activate your yeast with sugar and some water.

Make sure the water is as lukewarm as your government.

Or at the very least, as lukewarm as the fuckboy you're dating. ✌

The recipe says to use Vitamic C as a healthy alternative for the "Agege" texture.
Grind your vitamin C like you'd grind your...never mind.

We are to sieve the flour. But I didn't. I'm a Niger-Deltan; we cut corners...ask the NDDC. 😭

Mix in salt, sugar, margarine etc and stir

I don't know how to operate the mixer so, I'm getting some help here... 🤷‍♀️

Take it out and knead it for a bit.
Not too long - I did 5 minutes.

As soon as it begins to look as smooth as you wish your face was, that's the exact time to put it in a greased bowl, cover with a towel and place in a warm place.
I placed mine outside weil die Sonnen scheint.

So, after almost 30 minutes the dough doubled.
I took it out, punched it like Israel Adesanya knocked out James Griffiths, then rolled it out like how Yoruba boys are rolling una destiny.

Then I put the dough in greased bread pans (I used margarine to grease, and put some baking paper on the bottom).

Now I am going to wait again for it to rise, for the last time, before we bake.
So, the next time you see me, we'll know if I messed up.
😭😭😭

So, 30 minutes later, and the Agege bread appears to have risen spectacularly, like the penises of some men, after watching Cardi B's #wap video.

Time to bake, for 30 minutes.
PS - I was supposed to brush on some egg wash. I have no brush so I used my hands to pat it. We'll see.

Fam, let me tell you... my kitchen smells like an Agege bread factory!
All I need is the women, men bustling about, counting bread and scooping Bama Margarine into Blue Band containers to complete the scene.
Fresh out of the oven, it smells like Agege...texture check in a bit🥳

Yup!!!
I made Agege bread!!!