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The more love, affection and effort you put into a person, the more you fall in love with that person, not the other way round.

You don’t get people to love you deeply but continuously showing them that you love them.

I don’t know how to explain this but I’ll try.
At the initial stage of liking someone, the outpouring of love and affection could get them to fall in love with you. But your continuous display of love doesn’t necessarily deepen the intensity of love a person has for you. It only constantly reaffirms that you love them.
The feeling a lady gets when you buy her a car in 2019 does not necessarily deepen when you buy two more cars in 2020. It affirms to her that you probably love her a lot, but this continuous show of love doesn’t guarantee the depth of her own feelings for you.
You must learn to give people the opportunity to love you. They have to be able to care and show it to you, in order to deepen their own love 4 you.

Don’t overstuff a person with your show of love, in the belief that it would make that person love you even more. Doesn’t work.
It’s crazy, but people tend to love you more when they find themselves putting in effort to actually love you.

This is a pattern I’ve experienced in friends and even with parents; people who don’t cause you to put in effort naturally don’t enjoy the depth of your feelings.
This is why you could shower so much love on a person with endless gifts and all, but they wouldn’t feel for you half as much as they feel for an ex they put in so much effort to love.

The crazy realization that we’re going lengths for a person is what deepens our love for them.
It is why, I have observed, the easiest way to fall out of love with a person is not to put in effort.

It may seem that we fall out of love when they stop showing that they love us but that’s not really true. People still feel deeply for those that are careless towards them.
Taken too far, this can encourage selfishness and toxic behaviors. You may want to relax and watch other people put in more and more effort into you knowing that they’d eventually get stuck up and feel really deeply for you. But this isn’t the point.
The point is, in your loving nature, you must learn to allow people love you. It is not only for you, it also helps them. Without they putting in effort, no matter how much they profess it, they simply can’t feel deeply about you.

Love doesn’t thrive on effortlessness.
This is just my personal observation anyway.
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More from @Mrpossidez see all

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Mr. Possible of Oxbridge💫
@Mrpossidez
Legal practice has been revealing. Your skills are very helpful to how you’d be viewed/rated. I’m still learning, but I’ll talk about two EVERYDAY skills which, I’m my opinion are really key:

- Critical Thinking
- Legal Writing

Normal stuff but not so normal. I’ll explain.
Critical thinking is so important because everyone often wants you to think and help solve problems.

My rule is: always believe there’s more to anything. If you get critical, you’ll ask the right questions. They can be occasionally foolish, but you’ll ask the right ones often.
If John tells you he’s 2 years older than a certain James and John is 40, it doesn’t mean James must be 38 at the time of that conversation. James can be 37 or 39 before John turns 40. It depends on whose birthday comes first in every calendar year.

James might have died at 37.
Read 11 tweets
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Mr. Possible of Oxbridge💫
@Mrpossidez
If the love you claim to have for someone can always be suppressed and temporarily suspended so you can satisfy other guilty pleasures, then love is overrated.

We may avoid the truth, but we know that as a generation, we’ve corrupted too many institutions.

1/3
We know the problem but we either run away from it or come up with convenient theories to rationalize it.

Our “wokeness” as a generation did not come from pure wisdom, it is borne out of self-absorption and overall laziness. Marriage and love was not designed easy.
We know this; but instead of deal with it head-on, we invent extensions which we never keep up with, and desperately try to justify them.

A partner cannot use your phone without asking for passwords. It is called privacy, but we know the truth.
Read 5 tweets
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Mr. Possible of Oxbridge💫
@Mrpossidez
Congratulations to the new wigs as you’ve passed the bar exams! Super excited to hear it!

This thread is for those that are downcast by their results; those that need consoling as they equally celebrate.

I know your fears and I’ll be very honest with you in all I say.
What makes it hurt the most is the media and you’ve realised that social media doesn’t care about “failures”.

You did not make your desired grade and you can now clearly see that you may not get the attention.

But this celebration is a trap and not many can keep up.
Success is like a magic trick. You make a card disappear, it fascinates them, they want you to do it over and over and over and over again, till it becomes banal. Then they expect a more spectacular trick. Or they leave for more spectacular ones.
Read 14 tweets

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