Today would be my 30th anniversary with Jennifer Hart. We made our way down to the Savannah Court House on our lunch hours as I packed for Desert Shield. Life changed fast. I'd lose my first 2 soldiers just 6 mos later. She and our unborn baby would be lost 4 years after this.(1) 
I spent decades struggling with my role in those losses and more that followed. I often didn't live my values. The damage would hurt people I loved and eventually ended my 2nd marriage and more. I got into treatment 3 yrs ago and am so very glad I did. (2)
I suppose the lesson is that we have to accept the damage in our lives. Accept the consequences. I wish I could take back all of the mistakes I made but in the end all I can do is atone for them going forward. I have good people in my life and won't let them down again. (3)
Treatment for my PTSD/Survivors Guilt was not comfortable or pleasant. I had to face some things I had buried deep to avoid. I had to bare my soul. But, today I am better, stronger, and moving forward. If you struggle with mental health get help. It's not too late. Ever. (4)
PTSD/survivors guilt doesn't just belong to vets but I meet so many of my peers who've struggled with the losses after all these years of war. They've made mistakes and are afraid to face them. Don't be. Life is better on the other side. If I can help please reach out. End PSA.
