#PeriodLeave from an emotional and practical perspective. A #thread:
I have battled chronic PCOS, infertility warnings, endometriosis, tuberculosis of the reproductive system. These things made period pain unbearable. I have lived with these medical conditions through school & university & continue to navigate in the 7th year of my career.
That’s basically the most important years of one's life, the final formative years when you choose a profession and a life that will be the new constant for at least a decade.
I live with pelvic pain EVERYDAY.
I live with pelvic pain EVERYDAY.
Every-single-day of my life for the past fourteen years. At school, it was difficult to convince the male PT instructor that I couldn’t do yoga or play basket-ball because I was on my period and that they were insanely painful.
I empathise with people who suffer from any kind of pain so much that sometimes I genuinely wish them on their birthdays and attach a message saying, may you be relieved of your pain this year. No kidding! I think people take it as a joke, but I’m serious.
Thanks to period pain in PCOS, I lost the power to walk for more than five minutes at a stretch. I still refrain from walking and even taking public transport where I have to stand for hours.
I take cabs, I only take cabs and have been laughed upon by friends and colleagues over the years for being an elite snob who cannot go out unless she takes a cab. But I do what my body allows me to bear.
And I earn my own living. I can use it and rather will use it whichever way I want. I became financially independent at the age of 20 and funded my own education, medication (which costs a bomb), rent, clothes and everything that has an Apple logo on it.
I’ve worked way harder on days when I had period pain just in the fear of not losing a job or getting a campaign or story right. That’s perhaps the case with many fiercely independent women who cannot afford to lose a job. It is sad. Remember, not every has the luxury to sit back
What has money got to do with period pain? A lot. You can afford hot water bags, hot pads, best medicines, the most comfortable sanitary pads and PYJAMAS! For women in our country, all these things are a luxury, not something all of them can afford.
At work, in my first job I thankfully had a phenomenal boss who was a man. He never said no to a medical leave and I never had to explain why I needed it. This is when I was at the helm of affairs in a 24 X 7 digital publishing business.
Writing and commissioning 40 stories a day, delivering 50 million page views a month. An all women team. I cannot recall a single instance when I was made to feel less or denied a leave because of my period cramps.
During big events, award shows that I’d lead for digital broadcast, it was just sheer fate that I used to be on my period on the main day. That meant, inevitable pain, fucked up eating routine and lots of running around big spaces.
I had the best team ever. From my boss to the colleagues, everyone took care of the fact that I had a chair to sit while broadcasting during the live events, even if that meant reserving a prime spot near the stage among the VIPs.
My boss & mentor, the erstwhile COO of the second largest newspaper business in the country, personally used to get me food on a plate and made sure I didn’t miss out on the desserts. It was clearly the mark of a humble and successful leader.
He knew I had a serious medical condition that came with period pain. The same man, promoted me at a very young age to lead a team and present the brand in front of ace editors of the country. He took a chance on me despite my medical condition. He trusted me and my strategy.
In my second job I reported to a woman and a man. I only had to drop a message in the morning that I wouldn’t be able to make it. No reasoning was required. No one ever troubled me by calling during the day and poking to finish some work.
The man I reported to, had his chamber right next to the washroom. Almost every woman uses a washroom multiple times when she’s menstruating.I did too. Sometimes, I would get embarrassed because I’m sure he noticed that I went to the washroom too frequently.
It can be annoying and disturbing for someone to work in a set up like that. But, he never complained. I’m genuinely grateful for having worked with people who did not hesitate in giving a leave when I was on my period.
Every woman who suffers from serious period pain needs extra rest, warmth, emotional support and care. I’m personally too shy to ask favours and ask for help when I’m on my period. I still try to do what I can.
But, if period leaves become a norm, it’ll improve the physical and mental health of so many women that productivity will automatically rise. Even if it doesn’t, it’ll empower them to prioritise themselves over work or anybody else.
Asking men and women to be sensitive about this topic is not equivalent to pleading or victimising a gender for bleeding. We don’t need your sympathy. We need a system that can help us in controlling what is not in our control by the virtue of being born the way we are.
Being grateful for all the help and care is a sign of having a spine and a good heart. Don’t mistake it for appeasement or fear of any kind.
Women need love, more care in this country than any other. We’ve been through a lot to be subjected to harsh language, mental and physical abuse, yelling, sexism and petty politics.
As a woman I’d say, if you don’t have a uterus, please shut the fuck up. If you do have one and it doesn’t pain when you bleed, shut the fuck up too.
