Thread by @ArmaniTalks

Toxic people rarely just leave & that's it

They try to come back, masked in a sweeter form

'Why do I get bitten by the same snakes so many times?'

Because you don't know about the dance...👇

'The dance?'

Yes, the dance

An important social principle you want to understand when dealing with toxicity

'What is it exactly?'

The dance is the back & forth stage AFTER cutting ties with someone

In a clear world, we cut ties with someone & that's it

But in the real world, when we cut ties with someone, that's when the game begins

This is why a lot of people keep going back to a toxic relationship or friendship

They fell victim to the swinging motion of the toxic Individual

The dance can manifest in different forms:

-im a changed person now
-i didn't know what I did was bad
-i have problems, please help
-my friends made me
-it was a one time error

Blah blah blah

'Are you saying these points aren't valid?'

Nah, I'm not saying that

The points can be valid

But you'll never FULLY know if the points are valid or not

And when we FULLY don't know something, we are plunged into uncertainty

Uncertainty is what causes us to second guess ourselves

'Hm...maybe I'm being to harsh' you say.

And with this statement, you have officially accepted the dance.

A time consuming process

The person has come back in a sweeter form

Wow, magical

Few stay like this

So bravo for winning the bet & capitalizing on your uncertainty

Unfortunately, many go back to their old ways

Most do

That's when the fake sweetness has melted & you are now back to where you started

You wasted a lot of time

And unfortunately, your bet on the uncertainty didn't play out as expected...

Sorry bud

That's how we learn though

We need to feel doubt before we move with conviction

We need to be wrong many times to be right once

We need to feel foolish to feel wise

Don't be too upset you got played by the dance

Happens to the best of us

In all forms of interactions with humans

Social judgment is built via pain alone

But the next time, you'll know that you didn't just cut out a toxic person for no reason

There were a LOT of moments that built up to it

And hopefully, you'll keep those moments in mind when they try to come back from the dance

For more social skills insights, follow @ArmaniTalks 🌍🚀