The person, often male, doing the gaslighting occurs when a woman or other gendered person responds to a sexist/misogynistic comment to:
๐ชshut it down
๐ชchallenge it
๐ชexpose it
๐ชcall it out
in a culture or relationship dynamic where that hasn't happened before.
2/
๐ชshut it down
๐ชchallenge it
๐ชexpose it
๐ชcall it out
in a culture or relationship dynamic where that hasn't happened before.
2/
A gaslighting tactic is called ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฉ๐ข.
Ref:
๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐บ๐ฅ, ๐.๐. (1997). "๐๐. ๐๐ช๐ฐ๐ญ๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ, ๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ฑ๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐บ๐ข๐ญ ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ถ๐ฎ๐ข ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ณ๐บ" (๐๐๐). ๐๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฏ๐ช๐ด๐ฎ & ๐๐ด๐บ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ๐บ. 7 (1): 22โ32.
3/
Ref:
๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐บ๐ฅ, ๐.๐. (1997). "๐๐. ๐๐ช๐ฐ๐ญ๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ, ๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ฑ๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐บ๐ข๐ญ ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ถ๐ฎ๐ข ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ณ๐บ" (๐๐๐). ๐๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฏ๐ช๐ด๐ฎ & ๐๐ด๐บ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ๐บ. 7 (1): 22โ32.
3/
They:
๐ซ ๐eny the abuse ever took place.
๐ซ ๐ttack the victim for attempting to hold the abuser accountable
๐ซ ๐งhen they will lie and claim that they, the accuser, are the real victim in the
๐ซ situation, thus Reversing the ๐ฉictim and ๐ขffender
4/
๐ซ ๐eny the abuse ever took place.
๐ซ ๐ttack the victim for attempting to hold the abuser accountable
๐ซ ๐งhen they will lie and claim that they, the accuser, are the real victim in the
๐ซ situation, thus Reversing the ๐ฉictim and ๐ขffender
4/
They will initially gaslight you to believe that your experience didnโt happen or accuse you of misconstruing their sentiment with statements such as โ๐ช๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ด๐ฏโ๐ต ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏโ or '๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ต๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฅ ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏโ.
Itโs complete BS.
5/
Itโs complete BS.
5/
If this has been part of your relationship dynamic, the other person will not have seen this new boundary coming.
They'll try to make you feel bad as if you're overreacting. This will bring up your own feelings of shame and guilt.
6/
They'll try to make you feel bad as if you're overreacting. This will bring up your own feelings of shame and guilt.
6/
The trick is not to respond to them from ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐บ๐ฒ and ๐ด๐๐ถ๐น๐ to subdue the feeling.
Feel the discomfort arising from choosing to engage with someone in a different way and know that this is what's required for dismantling sexism.
So, discomfort is a good sign!
7/
Feel the discomfort arising from choosing to engage with someone in a different way and know that this is what's required for dismantling sexism.
So, discomfort is a good sign!
7/
Creating a shift in dynamics to address power imbalance and disrespect is not easy. It requires support to ensure you don't allow the other person to make you feel guilty for wanting equality and respect.
There's more about this in my upcoming e-guide. Can't wait to share it!
There's more about this in my upcoming e-guide. Can't wait to share it!
This e-guide will be freely available to anyone & everyone who is interested in learning about dismantling & responding to casual sexism & misogyny medical school & medical culture in general.
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