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Alberta Parents & Teachers: We’re really worried about the safety of schools in the fall. Can you please do something?


AP&T: Please?

UCP: *Sigh* OK, we gave one of our favourite donors a bunch of money to sew up some cheap squares of cloth to put on your faces. Happy?
AP&T: Ummm. No. Those will break or be lost in a couple of days. They don’t look like they will do much good.

UCP: You soak them in chlorine before putting them on your face. It’ll be fine.

AP&T: Right, so we’ll have to buy our own. It doesn’t make up for the overcrowded rooms.
UCP: Rearrange the desks. Do we have to spell everything out for you?

AP&T: You can’t ‘rearrange’ to get 2m between desks in a small room! Can’t we have smaller classes?

UCP: No.

AP&T: Why not?
UCP: Well, first of all, because NDP suggested it. Also, we don’t want to.

AP&T: Look, we need more to be done here!


AP&T: Well?

UCP: We didn’t want to have to be so blunt, but here’s the thing. We don’t care.
AP&T: You don’t care about hundreds of thousands of children and their teachers?

UCP: The teachers are socialists, so no. And these kids? I mean, did they give us money? Do they run an oil company? Our big donors put their kids in private school, so they’re good. Besides...
it wouldn’t hurt to ‘thin out the herd’ a little. We’re getting ready to brainwash the kids into being dutiful minimum wage worker drones who only know our version of history, but that’s not quite ready to roll yet.
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