Sega Protogenesis Profile picture
Aug 20, 2020 3 tweets 1 min read Read on X
under my future dictatorship no business is allowed to post #relatable content because 100% of the time they're leveraging the voice of the common person's commiseration with their peers to sell unhealthy coping mechanisms for the hellworld they were instrumental in creating
target runs an ad going wink-wink "we know you're gonna eat that whole quart of ice cream in one night, better stock up ;) breyer's 50% off" and the ad's demographic is the workers they underpay
every single hashtag relatable thing that a business ever fucking says is something that would be comforting commiseration between two human beings but when a business says it it's just the lord of the manor laughing openly at your suffering that they caused

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More from @gravislizard

Apr 15, 2022
you won't find anything really interesting coming from nearly any media business because their revenue sources aren't "put out interesting writing which people can only get here, so they have to subscribe." now it's... god, I don't even know.
the way things sucked before was so interesting, and now it all sucks in the same way.
it's always the same thing. every day, the same thing. everything is bad for the same reasons. I used to complain about businesses. I gave up. There's no point. It's always the same explanation, and everyone already knows what it is.
Read 10 tweets
Apr 15, 2022
thinking about how we've fallen so far from gods light. in 1994, a pc magazine writer tasked with covering doom bit their lip, thought a little, and said "i should put a complete map editing tutorial in there. maybe next to the cheat codes" Image
let me tell you why the future we live in sucks so much dog shit every single second of every single day: data. as recently as the 2000s, businesses were stumbling through life completely lost and had no idea what they were doing. now they know, and everything sucks
do you fucking know how many people got paid anywhere from a living wage to big bucks to sit around and "i don't know, do something", and then nobody knew how to figure out if the thing they did made any money, or in fact, if they did it at all?
Read 15 tweets
Jan 10, 2022
I haven't even hit 100k subscribers and this is what my inbox looks like. every day i get emails
I now receive multiple shill offers daily. Most are "from" electronics "manufacturer" storefronts on amazon that likely do not exist as anything more than a sheet of paper in a government office in China and one of hundreds of rollstamps at a factory in Shenzhen.
I can't figure out the scam, honestly. I'm positive these "businesses" don't exist in any meaningful way - all the six-letter names you see on Amazon and Aliexpress cannot have staff and offices. There have to be millions of them, it's unthinkable.
Read 23 tweets
Jan 10, 2022
so it turns out that the rubberized coating on the Latitude E6420 is not the only thing that high-test isopropyl dissolves. it strips the paint right off the plastic.
well, nothing to do but to do it
the upper 2" of paint are absolutely nuclear-grade. must be baked on there from years of heat, took as long to remove 1/3 of that part as it took to strip the whole rest of the thing
Read 5 tweets
Jan 9, 2022
<AGDQ VOICE> clang
the quality of a speedrun is inversely proportional to how often you can see the player sprite
or how often you can see the level
Read 4 tweets
Jan 9, 2022
KONAMI'S METAMORPHIC FORCE IS HANDS DOWN THE BEST ARCADE BRAWLER I'VE EVER PLAYED
I don't even know where to begin. Every part of it is solid gold. I mean, you play as Them
But like, there are other games where you play as Good Boys, and that's always fantastic, but this one gets EVERYTHING RIGHT
Read 13 tweets

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