Thread by @EphraimGopin

31 years ago today...

The woman in the wheelchair is my grandmother, Bayla Gopin, or Bubbella as we affectionately called her.

Today is the 31st anniversary of her passing. Some memories from a grandchild.

2) I never knew her when she was fully healthy. She was diagnosed with MS just after I was born. So I only saw her with a cane, a walker or confined to a wheelchair or bed.

But that never stopped her from doing ANYTHING and EVERYTHING for her children and grandchildren.

3) Growing up in CT meant frequent trips to visit her in Brookline. Those Sunday trips are forever etched in my brain as some of the happiest moments of my childhood. The multiple slices I ate of her famous chocolate cake might have something to do with it.

4) As a kid I wrote and sent her letters (yes kids- we used to do things like that. Actual writing!) and she always responded. When she found out I collected pennies, she started taping pennies to the bottom of each letter. Those pennies are priceless memories.

5) Here's the thing: No matter how painful it was for her, she wrote those letters. She taped those pennies at the bottom.

Only something years later I can appreciate. But that lesson of doing everything for family is with me.

6) In 1985, she flew from Boston to Toronto for my bar miztva. Her body was wracked with pain but nothing would stop her from celebrating with a grandson!

This is one of my favorite pics. It's only in retrospect that I understood the superhuman effort it took her to be there.

7) In August 1989, I flew to Boston to spend a weekend with my grandparents. I was leaving for a year in Israel and wanted to spend time with them before I left. While there, she was admitted to the hospital.

8) On Saturday August 19th, my cousin and I walked I have no clue how many miles to visit her in the hospital. It would be the last time I saw her.

9) Less than a week after I landed in Israel, the director of my school told me that Bubbella had passed away. The funeral took place here in Israel and I was the only grandchild present. 17 years old, in a new country and standing over Bubbella's grave.

10) As I stood there this morning, I considered how our memory functions. Most of the pain I felt that day is gone but the wonderful memories of our time together are still fresh and warm.

You forget what you need to but remember what you should. It works.

11) The Hershey's Kisses next to her bed, so the grandkids could have. The extra servings of farfel on Shabbat because she knew how much I liked it. The love, the warmth, the smile. No amount of years can erase that.

12) I should also mention her special sense of humor. My dad says that she had surgery during her last hospital stay. When she awoke, she had to breathe into a machine 10 times. Although in great pain, she did it. Then she turned to the doctor and said, Now do I get my prize?

13) Today I am looking at that bar mitzva picture. A woman whose greatest joy in life was family. A woman who took great pride in each child & grandchild. A woman who did not let physical limitations stop her. Bubbella's mantra was: Family above all else. She lived & breathed it.

14) My kids only know the stories. It stinks that they never met her. But as long as my memory is functioning, I'll continue to tell them what a wonderful woman Yaffa Bayla bat (daughter of) Rabbi Menachem Mendel was.

May her memory continue to be a blessing for her family.