Thread by @ASlavitt

COVID Update August 30: The propaganda wars have hit a fever pitch.

Let’s review. 1/

We have 9000 people dead from COVID according to a QAnon source and Trump.

Praise God. They have risen from the dead!! 2/

We’re going to have a vaccine by the end of the year. If you don’t believe me just ask my colleague at the FDA— Steven Yessir! 3/

We have established a NEW standard for releasing a vaccine. 4/

Rather than improvement of 50% of the public, it just has to ready: HELP MORE THAN IT HARMS.

I am announcing a new candidate for a vaccine: water.

Yes, water. Hydrate— it helps more than it hurts. 5/

Next: We have a new “breakthrough” drug. It’s called “someone else’s blood!”

That’s right. Donald Trump has brought you convalescent plasma. Now in beverage form. 6/

The FDA now has exceedingly rigorous standards. But....7/

Here’s the great news. If you disagree with the FDA, we are encouraging you to take the test we JUST approved and USE IT OFF LABEL!

See— we approved it for something it is NOT good for. So use it for WHAT we want you to use it for. 8/

https://twitter.com/hhs_ash/status/1300146630201610240

Because we want you to know that none of us in the federal government have any fucking idea what each other are doing! So read any of our tweets, choose what you like. 9/

You can drink this blood (or NOT!) while you are doing the safest thing we can do.

NOT get tested. That’s right. NOT testing according to CDC head Robert Redfacedinshame is exactly what to do. 10/

This way when Coronavirus bites you, you won’t know where you got it! And won’t be able to find out. 11/

Hear more from Robert, the Admiral, and Steve in their next job.

Coming soon. 12/

Scene in the White House earlier this week:

President Trump: Who wants to back me up in a lie that will harm and kill thousands of people? 13/

I’m going to take an “aside” in the next tweet. Just one tweet to talk to you & answer your questions. This is my half of the conversation. Then back to it. 14/

(No as a matter of fact I did not just discover GIFs.....What?....Yes it has been that kind of day...Excuse me? Did I meet with her today?...Yes...What did she say?....Wait for the book...Announcing next week...Yes, seriously...I got to get back to finish the thread. Later.) 15/

You know how stupid all these Trump pandemic people are. One thing I’ve learned is they think the people who follow them and believe them are even stupider. 16/

I would seriously rather manage this pandemic by flipping a coin than having people who knowingly lie to us.

I’d rather be wrong half the time than know we’re wrong ALL the time. 17/

Seriously a random number generator would cause fewer deaths than this team. I mean it. 18/

Is it good propaganda?

There I’m afraid it might be. It tells the base we’re winning. It tells people who don’t feel like asking a question we’re winning. It tells people with COVID fatigue don’t worry. 19/

And look. About the vaccine? If it doesn’t work? If it hasn’t been tested? Where do you think it’s going to go first? 20/

Trump will throw everything at this election to win. Almost as if he were trying to avoid prosecution for a crime of something.

A little lying? No big deal. 21/

And should we be surprised that he’s gotten people of science to support his lies? Well, he’s gotten Republicans in Congress to nod their heads so why not.

Plus they have their future heroics in their own book form. 22/

“Saving America: Trump would have been worse but for me” version 75. 23/

I will say this. They are starting to ask. I’ve already gotten a feeler:

“Do you think being in this Administration will hurt my future job prospects?” 24/

I’ve never said this to anyone in my life. But I plan to. /end