For children of immigrants, it's not uncommon to develop self-sabotaging behaviors for various reasons. >>
1. You may have been told that you're one thing or that you should be or do one thing, so now you may try to make your life work in that box, even if it doesn't feel right.
1. You may have been told that you're one thing or that you should be or do one thing, so now you may try to make your life work in that box, even if it doesn't feel right.
2. You may have grown up in a household where you had to learn to be comfortable with instability, so now as an adult you set your own upper limit potential -- or your own comfort for success -- that inhibits your growth.
3. You may have been told to do things well or don't do them at all. So at the first sight of a hiccup, mistake, or roadblock, you just give up altogether because it feels like you're a failure.
4. You may not have ever felt supported or heard (or deserving of being heard) when you were a child, so now you may have beliefs and/or behaviors where you struggle to communicate effectively, speak up for yourself, or clarify your needs.
5. Your parents may have modeled control as a form of love. So as an adult, instead of being able to enjoy the process, the work, or the relationship, you may find yourself focused on needing to know what happens next / deciding how things should go.
6. You may have been taught to always put others first. So now you may struggle w/ how to prioritize yourself and your pursuits. Instead, the promises you make to others may supersede the promises you make to yourself suggesting that your growth is less important.
7. You may have been repeatedly told to be grateful for what you have & where you are. This may manifest itself in procrastination or avoidance of something new, different, or hard, because you fear how things may change to allow for your growth & happiness.
8. As a child, you may have gotten the most attention from your parents, or they were most in harmony w/ one another, when they were focused on their disappointment w/ you. So you may have developed maladaptive behaviors that replicates this dynamic & avoids healthy connection.
9. You may have been taught that rejection is a failure and flaw, so your self-concept has been intertwined with your levels of success. So now, when you do inexplicably experience rejection, you internalize it and have a hard time bouncing back.
10. You've been told to be humble, so you may minimize your success by subconsciously or consciously limiting it as to not "show up" someone else.
