It is absolutely crucial that we move away from the term #ParentalAlienation whenever there is disrupted child contact. The term is hugely problematic in a number of ways not least of which being the background of the controversial *theory*.
THREAD #DomesticAbuse #familycourt
Here is the background to Richard Gardner who originated the term: and
1. See thread in tweet above 2. It was a term Gardner came up with in response to what he saw as the ‘brainwashing’ of a child by the mother, to reject the father.
3. Gardner believed that 90% of sex abuse allegations made by the child were, in fact, lies by the mother. 4. He theorised that mothers alleging abuse were expressing, in disguised form, their own sexual inclinations towards their children.
5. According to Gardner, the mother tells these lies to "alienate" the children from their father. He believed that the mother deserved to lose all custody rights in favour of the alleged abuser.
6. Gardner proposed *Threat Therapy* - in which the mother was threatened with jail if the child was not compliant.
This would be one thing IF the mother had indeed lied about the father having sexually abused the child and *programmed* the child to believe it
BUT
Because abuse - especially #coercivecontrol is so poorly understood by the courts ( unless it accompanies physical violence that is easily evidenced)- the child would often not be believed.
7. Gardner’s method of assessment was hugely problematic.
Asked by an interviewer what a mother was supposed to do if her child complained of sexual abuse by the father, Gardner replied: "What would she say? Don't you say that about your father. If you do, I'll beat you."
In one of his earliest cases, Gardner labelled a physicist a "parental alienator", unfit to retain custody of her children.
She was shot dead by her ex-husband.
Gardner insisted that her lies had made the husband temporarily psychotic.
Circuit Judge Ralph Stoddard allowed Gardner to interview all four family members in a case, ruling that PAS ( parental alienation syndrome) had gained enough acceptance in the scientific community to be admissible as evidence.
However... “
once Gardner got on the stand, he was so biased in favour of the father against the girls that the Judge rejected Gardner’s
testimony saying that Gardner was “really trying to get them to admit the facts were as their father saw them,”
Gardner was able to use his academic credentials to put children in the custody of their alleged abuser, EVEN in cases where police records, medical records and testimony by teachers and social workers supported the mother's accusations.
Dr. Joyanna Silberg views PAS allegations as part of a larger strategy in which abusive parents try to fool courts, attorneys, child custody evaluators, mental health professionals into believing that their children and ex-spouses are crazy when they raise concerns about safety.
8. Gardner had HUGELY problematic views on paedophilia and this fact alone should render any method of diagnosing #ParentalAlienation as unethical.
9. *Threat Therapy* or Reunification- as it is now called- is extremely traumatising to the child.
“The premise that you can improve a relationship with a parent through force and coercion and isolation from the preferred parent is simply erroneous and unethical,” Joyanna Silberg
10. The threat of claiming #ParentalAlienation and removing the child is one that is used by abusers to stop a partner from leaving.
There are many reasons why contact between a child and a parent is disrupted. Spite, vengeance, jealousy, anger, betrayal and control are just some of the reasons.
There is also fear of what a parent might do and this fear can not be underestimated.
The current way of defining #ParentalAlienation fails to fully consider:
-the adversarial and hostile setting of the court process
-the lack of understanding of #coercivecontrol
- the lack of understanding of the emotional impact of a relationship ending.
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First and foremost, a climate where bullies are rewarded.
When they’re not held to account but rewarded with getting their own way because others are too scared to confront them, that is the perfect Petri dish for #coercivecontrol
Different rules for different people.
Making allowances for, or ignoring bullying/inappropriate/abusive behaviours of people we like or admire.
Holding them to a lower standard because they’re family, or a celebrity, or wealthy, or we benefit in some way from looking away.
I detest the term *parental alienation* with a passion and now I won’t use it.
It used to be called ‘Threat Therapy’.
A🧵
I’ve been told, frequently, that not all perpetrators are men, that mums get *alienated* too and that denying the existence of PA means denying that abusers DO and WILL maliciously sever a relationship between parent and child.
And yes, all of the above IS true.
But refusing to use that term is NOT the same as denying that this happens.
So, for avoidance of doubt, here is why I believe the term *parental alienation* should not be used:
Adolf Eichmann was aided by a Franciscan monk who helped him obtain an Argentine visa and who signed an application for a falsified Red Cross passport.
Eichmann masterminded the Nazi network of death camps that resulted in the murder of approximately 6 million Jews.
Josef Mengele fled to Argentina with the help of a Catholic clergy member.
Nicknamed the “Angel of Death” he conducted experiments at Auschwitz particularly on twins, pregnant women and the disabled. Mengele even tortured and killed children with his medical experiments.
“On one occasion, she said, male officers taped her phone to the ceiling, telling her: “We’re gonna watch your arse when you climb on the table.””
How a dead officer’s iPhone exposes misogyny, corruption and racism in a police force
🧵
Ricky Jones, a retired police officer knew where many of Gwent police’s skeletons were buried, but it wasn’t until his death that his own began to emerge.
In 2020, he jumped to his death from a bridge.
He left behind his wife and three daughters.
To the outside world Jones was a respected former copper and family man. But behind closed doors he subjected his family to decades of #domesticabuse.