Thread by @JodyRae_

I haven't given many #Athena updates lately, since that would be a daily occurrence now.

But let me sum it up by saying I just got off the phone with 911 after she ran out to the parking lot fully naked in a snowstorm to fight with her criminal bf as he tried to drive away.

Goddammit if I don't get an award-winning essay out of this ORDEAL.

Gotta spin this into gold somehow.

Probably the moment I overlooked all day long was when the 911 dispatcher asked me, in a hushed tone, "Do you know these people?"

Which graciously allowed me the dignity to distance myself from them, and in the moment I was relieved, but right now I'm so grateful to her.

Hello, 24 hours later. Athena walked to the grocery store and brought back a cart that she left on the sidewalk in front of our entryway.
An hour later she and Low Life came back with another cart full of liquor, left that on the sidewalk, too.

It's gonna be one a those nights.

Guy next door overheard Athena and LowLife talking about having a baby. They are in their late 40's.

I asked my husband: Should we try to adopt that baby, or are we looking at a "Rosemary's Baby" situation?

Guy next door overheard LowLife yelling at the nursing home residents behind our building, "Die, already!"
In case you needed a reason to hate him.

The nursing home is filing a police report.

Things got rowdy last night. Athena and her bf got ticketed for a noise complaint and shouted at an officer. Don't work, though, they have not one but three lawyers on "refiner".

*worry

Also, when the police came earlier (they came multiple times throughout the evening), Brian the bf hid in someone's storage shed until they left. I watched him sneak out of it when the coast was clear. Boy, he's a wiley f***er.

Also, the people living below Athena found a folder out on the lawn filled with all of Brian's court fees, which he flung off the balcony sometime last night. It is apparently quite a lot of money owed.

Well, we all knew he was a criminal on sight.

Brian has threatened to stab us. Athena says she wants "to kill someone".

Of all the ways to die, this *can't* be how we go.

Tonight, I got audio recording of Brian and Athena threatening to slit our throats, our neighbors' throats, and beat our faces in.
I called police. They aren't coming.

Cops are here again because Brian hit and run at the Toyota dealership, and Athena lied saying he's not home (he is) and gave them a fake number. My bet is he was drunk and has no insurance.

Athena "left" on her bike, hid in a neighbor's carport, and is now creeping around to see if Brian is on her balcony and if the police are still here. She is skulking as if it was dark out. We're all just watching this happen from our windows.

Police came again after Athena received the Cease & Desist letter and fought w/ Brian, tossed a bunch of items off her balcony, and shouted for him to leave.

Brian drive away as the police pulled up, followed by a Kona Shave Ice truck playing it's island music, and I gotta say, the music really lent an @arresteddev quality to the entire scene.

Police are here for the second time today to write tickets for Brian and Athena going crazy on the balcony with threats and profanity and...a guitar and a drum?
Well, this is new.

The cops are telling him he already has a warrant out AND they are going to tell his PROBATION OFFICER.

BOOM, KNEW IT.

We also loved the part where Brian volunteered, "we also have loud sex", and the officer said, "nobody told us that." And he goes, "they didn't?"

None of us even mentioned Athena taking out the recycling while she was swigging from a liter of vodka. That's just inferred.

The police literally just warned them not to intimidate witnesses, but they just drove away laying on his horn while throwing liquor and beer bottles out of the car. We called it in, of course.

Good morning, Twitter.
After my husband called in the drunk driving/bottle throwing/horn honking on Brian and Athena, the police said they would keep an eye out for his vehicle.

They never came home last night.

"We're back, bitches!" - Athena and Brian, rolling up with a car full of his clothes from his mom's house.

Brian keeps trying to get Athena to marry him for her property, yet she demures. Neighbors did some digging. Turns out she might STILL be married to her estranged husband.

So I'll allow myself to make a joke at Brian's expense.

This is how I shall refer to him henceforth:

Late last night the police came by to return Athena's purse she left by a creek. They tried to talk to Side Dump but he was too cowardly to come outside.
They ticketed him for, SURPRISE, not having car insurance after they already told him he can't be driving.

Overheard from the police to one another:

"We come out here all the time for just this one issue...Didn't I hear they were tossing stuff off their balcony? I feel bad for these neighbors..."

Awwww. Our newest neighbors gave us a present to commemorate our bond over Side Dump and Athena. So sweet!

Bizarre Twist: our realtor called to ask if we want to be on an episode of House Hunters, featuring our plight over Athena/Side Dump, and MY HUSBAND SAID NO.

So my question is, who wants to play my husband/wife?

Ok couple updates.
1. Side Dump had seizures last Sunday and went to the ER in an ambulance. Hasn't been back since.
2. Our neighbor just told us that Athena and Side Dump GOT MARRIED A WEEK AGO.

THIS IS DISASTROUS, IF TRUE.

Ok, news. Side Dump, fresh out of rehab for a week, has a warrant in a neighboring county (something about supplying oxycontin and caused someone's death), is on the phone with a lawyer who is telling him and Athena that their options are very limited.

The city prosecutor has now requested any evidence, photos, recording, videos that we as neighbors have collected all summer and, boy, is his inbox filling up already.

Athena moved Side Dump's car to another street two nights ago to make it look like he's not home (I saw the car this morning on a walk).

Now they are claiming the car was stolen, maybe because she forgot where she put it?

Mmmkay, it's still where she left it 2 nights ago.

Dear City Prosecutor,
Prepare your inbox. This is gonna hurt.

Okay, I'm not perfect either. I just admitted to my husband that I *routinely* crop dust Athena's door when I pass by.

He has attempted it once but failed.

I'm like this weird superhero. I gravely accept the responsibility.

Update: Side Dump gas apparently moved out BUT Athena already has a new man a day later AND has filled out entire building with smoke because she doesn't know how use her fireplace.

Neighbor just walked by her as she was leaving her condo with and her fireplace was blazing.

I know I joke that Athena will likely kill me one day, but she might actually kill me one day.

J/K Side Dump is back again.

Athena and Side Dump posted THIS on her door...right before...

...right before kicking this bucket of ice melt I used to prop the main door to air out their smoke in the stairwell

Another smoke-filled stairwell that is smoking up my entire house?

Tik Tok, motherf*cker.

I ain't here to play. 📛🚨

There is now an arrest warrant out for Side Dump's arrest for domestic violence.

Athena missed a meeting with the DA yesterday, and missed her court date today, so her solution was to call an ambulance at 10 AM to fake a medical emergency. She came back a couple hours later, fine...

...and had a locksmith over to fix her door, which she has damaged from slamming it every day. He had to call in for backup. I'm not even joking. An ambulance ride is like $1000. Was it worth it? I don't see how.

...Side Dump is still here. They enclosed their balcony with curtains to hide behind, but we can still hear/smell him.

Please check her spelling. She is a TUTOR with her Masters.

This....does not...make up for 8 months/ 7 years of pure Hell.

Anyways, she's $35 an hour, if your child needs a tutor.

Anyways, ambulance/fire/police just left. Side Dump locked himself out and tried to climb the rock face on the building to get onto Athena's balcony. Fell. Hit his head, insists he is fine b/c he is "athletic" with "extensive knowledge" but keeps passing out drunk.

Honestly, I knew this day would come.

Today he wore a boot and used a cane for 20 minutes in the parking lot following his tumble from scaling the building, and then discarded both to drive to McDonald's. I present to you the Side Dump™ Ken doll:

https://twitter.com/LucyFitz46/status/1327400554381910018?s=19

Not even kidding, it's the third time paramedics/fire/police show up within 24 hours.

I live with f*ckin' Sid and Nancy.

[Fire Dept first responders overheard: "I'm so tired of coming here..."]

BREAKING: I CALLED 911 AND THEY JUST ARRESTED SIDE DUMP FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 📣📣📣

And they are detaining Athena, too!!!!!

HANDCUFFS

This is a bigger deal than it normally would be because they are BOTH on probation.

What is a good champagne brand I should buy for my other hard knock, war-torn neighbors who have fought this good fight with us?

If this is truly a significant development, there would be a poetic symmetry to this bs beginning on MY birthday 5 months ago, and ending on HIS birthday yesterday.

Happy birthday, motherf*cker.

Athena's home from detox and she's throwing rocks.

This is not a lyric.

Moses, our maintenance guy, just shared a DOOZY of a story. Recently, Athena fell down drunk on the sidewalk outside the HOA office. Then she stumbled over to Moses, whipped her breast out and said, "Hey, you like this?" He told her he would file a sexual harassment claim.

Oh! And he said that Athena asked another neighbor for $500 to bail out Side Dump, so there must have been a $5000 bond.
The neighbor told her 'no, I don't know you people." 😯

Omg Side Dump just violated his restraining order WHILE Athena had another homeless man staying over and he HIT the man in the head with a metal baseball bat!!!

Cops are here...

Oh, this poor man is crying. Ambulance is here. He has nowhere else to go tonight and he was so afraid to wake up to a dude swinging a bat at him.

THIS is why I carry pepper spray even when I take the trash out.

Ok I saw him leave, called police and went on record identifying him. Plus there is a Ring doorbell, dumbass.

Happy Thanksgiving. Cops are here again because Dumbass came back.

Happy Holidays! Side Dump was arrested in the parking lot today for violating the restraining order the past 4 days. 🗞️🗞️🗞️ We rejoice as neighbors.

Update: homeboy is charged with two counts of violating a restraining order, 2nd degree assault, and felony menacing with a deadly weapon for swinging a baseball bat at that other dude's head.
He won't be arraigned until Tuesday!

Separately, the guy Side Dump hit with a bat came back last night to collect stuff he left behind. He refused to leave Athena's place, so she called police and they arrested HIM for trespassing.

Cops came again today bc she was blaring Depeche Mode, violating her probation.

Officer called me to thank me for our help. No, THANK YOU!
He says they should move to a farm.

Athena says she's suing the police for "keeping her from her lover". That's a direct quote.
The officer had a faint shudder in his voice when he told me that.

My neighbor overheard Athena refer to me as "that little f*cking b*tch", and from now on this his how I want you to introduce me to your friends and colleagues while I curtsy.

I slept like 9+ hours last night for the first time in 2020.

My average lately has been 5 hours or fewer.

If this is Athena's idea of a joke, and she isn't actually moving, I will NEVER forgive her for getting my hopes up.

David Next Door just checked the county court dockets. Side Dump is still jailed and has two arraignments tomorrow, and he has cases in three different counties.

One of those counties just revoked his probation.

That means jail time. In another county.

We don't want to get our hopes up, but Athena had a realtor over today.

Just kidding, we poured a Blanton's. We are totally getting our hopes up.

Athena's unit is leaking water into her downstairs and the maintenance guy can't get her to open the door when he knocks....
So he called the fire department...

The FD is here with the cops and THEY ARE BUSTING HER MF'ING DOOR IN WITH A CROW BAR AND AXE.

She is yelling that she is calling 911 for privacy, and they are like, "we are 911".

She still won't answer the door. "Go away!"

She is on the phone with Side Dump and yelling for him to call the police to get the police off her property.

"Quit fucking up my lock, you assholes"

Firefighter to the cop: You know her?

Cop: Oh yeah.

They are calling the sargeant and shutting off the water in her unit and the units above and below her.

She's threatening to sue them.

More cops...

MORE COPS

"You can ignore us all you want but we aren't leaving until we make sure you turn your water off."

She has barricaded the door.

This ALLLL could have been avoided...if she just let them come fix her leaking water heater.

The cops are laughing at the absurdity.
"I know she's having trouble being rational."

From inside her door: Fuck you, get off my property!!! I'LL ONLY LET THE MAINTENANCE GUY IN"

Cops: he's the one who called us

Ok she let Maintenance Guy in to shut off her water after he tried 5 times.

"I'm more rational than YOU ARE!"

Good thing I stayed up late to listen to @taylorswift13 because cops and medics are here for Athena.

She's fine.

Hi. So the people above Athena had to have their water heater replaced today. She called the police on the plumber for making noise and gave them a fake name.
They showed up and said, we know who you are. And left when they saw that it was a plumber.

Then the plumber TRIED to make MORE NOISE. He was so pissed that she called the police, he made a spectacle of dragging the water heater up and down the stairs, and talking loudly in the entryway.
Dude can play petty, too. 😂

Cops are here. Knocked on our door and basically told us Athena is calling the police in her neighbors for no reason.

They left.

And we will report this to the city prosecutor.

Athena is now referring to herself as Bonnie.....

As in......

Bonnie and Clyde.

Ok so now they call themselves Romeo and Juliet, which fits since he uses her for sex & money, tried to climb her balcony and fell...

So he violated a restraining order, came back, and has been harassing our 85 year old neighbor all day.

I called the police when they went outside to smoke, cops rolled up and CAUGHT him! Back to jail.

She is now sobbing "Romeooooo" off her balcony. Worth it.

I love that he tried to lay his seat back in the car and pretend to be asleep while the cop shined a light in his face.

Oh btw, this is what Side Dump carved into the pumpkin:

He got booked on:
• violation of bail
• violation of restraining order

He has a hearing tomorrow.

And on 12/28.
And 1/7/21, 1/8/21, and 1/27/21
in 3 different counties.

That's how many crimes he has committed.

SD's bail is set at $10,000.

Unclear if he even qualifies for the $1000 bond since he violated the last one and that is partly why he is back in jail.

Oh, now Athena is harassing our elderly neighbor.

Live Laugh Love

An officer emailed us. It looks like the Side Dump case will be assigned to a detective.

They've had it.

Side Dump came back at 3 AM last night (trying to hide his face). Cops say he has THREE restraining orders for Athena, so this would be a 4th. He has a 5-count arraignment on Monday.

Merry Christmas.

So Side Dump is back. The judge lifted the restraining order and now he and Athena are gloating, flipping off the Ring, and gesturing at us. I reported witness intimidation, but due to COVID, cops can't arrest anyone unless it's violent. Judges are letting criminals walk.

Addendum: I bet it won't surprise you to learn that Side Dump is white, and is treated accordingly by #Boulder judges.

Boulder judges to innocent community members: This is fine. ⬇️

Behold: Witness Intimidation a`la Side Dump.

Side Dump and Athena just got in a massive fight and his parents came to pick him up. He took some bags with him and she was crying, "No, this isn't over!" and grabbing at him as he got in their car.

Happy New Year.

She accused him of stealing from her (accurate), and then she offered to buy him something (he said, "You can't bribe me").
But he got her to drop the domestic violence charges and now he is a free man.
So I guess he got what he wanted and will probably be back tomorrow

"I feel like I had better notes in delinquent Blockbuster accounts than the effin' police do on actual criminals."

- my husband, reminiscing on the '90s

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