Thread by @laazulink

Lan Zhan and Wei Ying have been living together for six months now. They’ve been dating for a little over year, but it feels longer because they’ve known each other since they were kids

At this point they’ve combined a lot of things; insurance, bills, phone plans, memberships to various streaming services, and their gym membership

Lan Zhan usually goes to the gym after getting up in the morning. He comes home afterwards to shower, eat and dress for the day

Wei Ying goes a couple days a week, whenever he has time, but never with Lan Zhan. He /does/, however, try to stop Lan Zhan from going

When Lan Zhan tries to get up in the morning, he koala bears on his torso, saying “you would leave me? Your poor boyfriend? Cold and sad and alone in bed? 🥺”

Lan Zhan will pepper kisses all over his cute face until Wei Ying starts giggling, his laughter loosening his grip, then gently lay him down on his back, wrap him up in a blanket burrito and leave with the promise that he’ll snuggle with him when he gets back

Sometimes Wei Ying is more successful, and Lan Zhan gets a different kind of workout on those days. He likes those days very much.

On one rare Saturday, Wei Ying wakes up with Lan Zhan in the morning

“Ah, Lan Zhan, help me get up, I want to go with,” he mumbles into his pillow, reaching for his boyfriend blindly in the dark room

“Are you sure?” Lan Zhan asks. “Yes yes come on, lift me up,” Wei Ying replies. Lan Zhan lifts him up off the bed, his body ragdolling as he makes zero effort to stand on his own

“Wei Ying.” “hrmmmph,” he says into Lan Zhan’s shoulder. “Wei Ying you have to stand.” “ugggghhh if I HAVE to” “do you want to go back to bed?” A moments silence. A sigh. “Nooooo”

Wei Ying plants his feet on the ground, uses Lan Zhan’s forearms to steady himself. “I need coffee first,” he says

Wei Ying is very quiet in the mornings as his brain boots up. Coffee greatly speeds up this process. When he’s buckled into the passenger seat (it takes him a few tries while Lan Zhan looks on in amusement)—

he says “I can’t believe I’m dating someone who wakes up this early. It should be a crime to be awake at this time Lan Zhan. A crime.”

“And what would be my punishment?” Lan Zhan asks

Wei Ying looks at him with narrowed eyes. “No matter what I say you’re going to turn it into something sexy.” “No I won’t.” “Liar.” “I won’t.” “You absolutely will, and I’m not giving you the satisfaction”

Lan Zhan smirks at him. Wei Ying is quiet on the drive over as he sips his coffee. Lan Zhan rests his hand on Wei Ying’s thigh. He knows it won’t happen, but he’d quite like if Wei Ying joined him every morning

Wei Ying leans on him heavily as they walk into the gym, but based on the alertness in his eyes, it’s purely because he wants to and not because he’s too tired to stand

When they show their IDs to the employee at reception, they smile warmly and say “Good morning, Mr. Lan!” Lan Zhan opens his mouth to reply, but Wei Ying beats him to it, beaming at them and saying “Good morning, Sam!”

They smile back at him, then to Lan Zhan, they say “and good morning to you as well!”

Lan Zhan’s brain short circuits.

If you had an image into his head it would be something like “MR. LAN? Mister. Lan. WEI YING??? Mr. Lan. Lan. Lan Ying.”

Out loud, he says, “Wei Ying???”

“What’s up, Lan Zhan?” Wei Ying is walking to the locker room without a second thought, like this is a normal, everyday occurrence

“Wei Ying, they said— Mr. Lan?”
“Oh! Yeah, since you started the membership they just assumed we were married. Look, my gym ID!”

He hands Lan Zhan the ID, a grainy picture of a smiling Wei Ying sits next to the barcode and a name: Lan Ying

“You didn’t… correct them?” He asks. Wei Ying gives him a strange look, smile dropping slightly.

“N-no? I didn’t think it was a big deal, it happens all the time,” he says. Lan Zhan’s brain: ALL THE TIME???? Lan Zhan out loud “oh. I’m sorry.”

Wei Ying laughs awkwardly. “It really doesn’t matter, Lan Zhan. It’s fine! No big deal.” Lan Zhan frowns. Not a big deal? He thinks it’s a very big deal. A huge deal. The biggest of deals.

“Lan Zhan, are you bothered?” Wei Ying asks, growing more and more uncertain the quieter Lan Zhan gets

“I’m not bothered. As you said, not a big deal,” he replies. If it doesn’t matter to Wei Ying then it won’t matter to him.

Lan Zhan doesn't /mean/ to be unusually quiet, but he can’t stop thinking about the Wei Ying going about the world with people thinking they’re married and him /not caring/

Wei Ying keeps shooting glances at Lan Zhan the entire hour. Lan Zhan isn’t sure what’s bothering him, but he rubs his arm reassuringly and kisses him, sure that Wei Ying will tell him whenever he’s ready

As they walk to the car, Wei Ying tugs on his sleeve. “Are you sure you’re not mad?”

Lan Zhan looks at him, bewildered. “Why would I be mad?”

“Well, it’s just— you got so quiet after Sam called me Mr. Lan… did I freak you out?” He looks off to the side, worrying his lip between his teeth.

Lan Zhan cups Wei Ying’s face in his hands. He’s still not making eye contact. “Wei Ying look at me.” Slowly, his eyes move until he’s looking at Lan Zhan again.

“I could never be mad because someone thought we were married. Why would I be mad? I would love to be married to you,” Lan Zhan says very seriously.

Wei Ying’s mouth drops open. Then he starts laughing, “Lan Zhan, did you just propose in a gym parking lot?”

Lan Zhan’s brows furrow. “No,” he says stubbornly.
“Oh you definitely did,” Wei Ying says, eyes sparkling.
“No I didn’t. I have it planned,” Lan Zhan says.
Wei Ying stares at him in shock

Lan Zhan did /not/ mean to say that. He’s been planning this for weeks! It’s supposed to be a surprise! He even spoke to Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng beforehand. He has the rings purchased.

He even measured Wei Ying’s ring finger. Fortunately Wei Ying is a /very/ deep sleeper.

“But Lan Zhan, /I/ have it planned!”

“You… what?” Lan Zhan says, dumbfounded.
“Yes! I can prove it! Let go of my face,” he says. Lan Zhan hadn’t even realized he was holding his face still. His hands drop to his sides and he waits for this supposed ‘proof’ that Wei Ying has.

Wei Ying takes his phone out of his pocket, unlocks it and begins furiously scrolling through a text conversation. Finally he finds what he’s looking for and shoves the screen in Lan Zhan’s face

🐍🐍🐍: lmao you’re gonna propose to Lan Zhan?
WY: shut the hell up yes im gonna propose and its going to be romantic as fuck and he’s gonna swoon

Lan Zhan quirks an eyebrow at Wei Ying at this.

🐍🐍🐍: no I just can’t imagine you beating him to it lmaooo I bet u he proposes first
WY: he will NOT we are on the same wavelength. Vulcan mind meld. I’m proposing. He knows this subconsciously

🐍🐍🐍: lmao if u are on this so called ‘same wavelength’ thats even more proof that he’s gonna propose
🐍🐍🐍: u’ll probably whip out the rings at the exact same moment bc u two are just Like That

WY: nie huaisang so help me if u jinx my proposal I stg
🐍🐍🐍: I have done nothing wrong and u can’t do anything to me. I have Da-ge

WY: I would consider fighting mingjue just for the pleasure of karate chopping your face
🐍🐍🐍: first of all. Rude. Second of all. Da-ge would pulverize you

The text conversation is dated 3 weeks ago.

Wei Ying slides his phone back into his pocket, smiling triumphantly. “See? I decided first. No take backsies.”
“Wei Ying, I spoke to Jiang Cheng and Yanli-jie /four/ weeks ago,” Lan Zhan says.

Wei Ying gapes at him. “No you did not. YOU DID NOT. Lan Zhan!” he whines. “How could you do this to me?”

“How could I want to marry you?” he asks, confused. Wei Ying pulls on his arm.
“Huaisang is going to win the bet now. I’ll owe him a hundred bucks. This is the worst day of my life.”

“Perhaps you should reconsider saying that finding out that I want to marry you constitutes ‘the worst day of your life’,” Lan Zhan says.
“Or what?” he says, giggling. “What’ll you do to me?”
Instead of answering, Lan Zhan reaches for him. Wei Ying dodges, running to the car

“I have the keys,” Lan Zhan says, running after him. “Where are you going?”
“Who said I needed to get inside?” Wei Ying yells.

Wei Ying runs around to the far side of the car. When Lan Zhan starts to go around, he runs away from him. Lan Zhan switches directions, and Wei Ying turns too, breathless laughter echoing through the parking lot.

“Stop running,” Lan Zhan says.
“No!” Wei Ying calls back.
Lan Zhan runs faster. Wei Ying looks behind him just in time to see Lan Zhan reaching for his shirt. He shrieks, picking up speed.

“How do you have so much energy?” Lan Zhan asks.
“How do /you/?” Wei Ying says. Lan Zhan grabs for him again and Wei Ying slides over the hood with surprising ease.

“Holy shit,” he says, panting. “Did you see that? Tell me you saw that.”
“I saw,” Lan Zhan says, breathing heavy

Then Wei Ying trips. The second lost means that Lan Zhan finally catches up to him. He grabs Wei Ying’s arm and reels him into his chest, wrapping his arms tight around him

“I caught you,” Lan Zhan says in a low voice. Wei Ying shivers.

“Let’s go home, ah? I can think of better uses of our time,” Wei Ying says.
“Yes. Let’s,” Lan Zhan says.

They get in the car to leave, but not before Lan Zhan kisses Wei Ying deeply, perhaps a bit too hot and heavy for a public area, his hands sliding down Wei Ying’s torso before he squeezes his ass

Wei Ying yelps. “Lan Zhan!” he says indignantly. Lan Zhan smirks at him. Then he drives home with his fiancé, Wei Ying.

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