This picture was taken during a time where severe depression, anxiety, & suicidal ideations were in my mind & heart non-stop.
I took this picture with my son Duce to remind me of the pain of abandonment my wife & kids would bear if I took my life.
A few years beforehand I opened up about my battles to people I trusted. Some didn’t understand, how I, a pastor and preacher of the Gospel could have such struggles. This inability to understand was no fault of theirs. I didn’t even understand my own struggles.
Others times I shared my struggles to others, they showed little interest, but used what I shared in vulnerability against me in later seasons of life.
Thanks to my dear friend @DerwinLGray, who reached out to me when he noticed my posts about struggling after Jarrid’s death.
He connected me to @DocAmen who assessed me, scanned my brain, analyzed my lab work, & began to provide me with ongoing therapy.
@DocAmen taught me about brain health and prescribed me two medications that are working. I’m not where I was a year ago today, thank you Jesus!
Life still gets hard, bad days do happen. Yet, w/ the Lord’s grace & a team of people loving me, walking in victory is possible too!
God never intended us to walk thru this life alone. When we live in isolation it’s easy to believe the lies, because they become the echo chamber in our mind.
If you are struggling with Suicidal Ideations, if you feel like no one will believe you, if you have opened up to others and they don’t check up on you, please call 1-800-273-8255.
There are people who will not only believe you but also be able to help you.
Thank you all for your love and support. Thank you for your RT's. I pray someone in the struggle reads this and chooses life (both physically and in Christ eternally).
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(a) They refuse to confess their sins & toxic destructive behavior patterns directly.
(b) Yet, they directly accuse their victims of the sins & toxic destructive behavior patterns they personally have committed towards their victims.
(2) The longer Abusers have hidden in church culture they've become more fluent in using Christian clichés when they are pressed to be held accountable. Clichés such as: "Love does not keep score", "I don't hear any grace when you talk to me", and "You can't judge my motives".
Reading the SATF report of the SBC has surfaced many emotions.
(1) God bless the bravery & courage of every survivor - y’all paved a way for many others hiding in the shadows to come forward, and finally be believed.
(2) The facts in this report can’t be blamed on CRT.
(3) Much of the anti-CRT, anti wokeism & liberal drift language got momentum when stories of abuse via #SBCtoo started gaining traction.
(4) Now that the SAFT report is out, the shift away from all the anti’s in (3) have been replaced by pietist statements per sexual abuse
(5) There will be more stories abuse that will come out as more survivors begin sharing their abuse. May they be loved and walked with on the path of healing
(6) Our human heroes of the faith are still human
(7) Our blind spots are best pointed out by others
A 🧵 on defining & understanding aspects of “White Supremacy” & Observations inside Evangelical Point of View’s (POV’s).
I open with 3 vital prefaces, offer brief suggested definitions grounded in scholarly work, and list observations hoping we move towards balance & clarity.
P #1: Calling out White Supremacy is not a direct attack on those identifying/categorized as White. It's naming a man-made way of life that prioritizes & produces benefits 1st for the profile of those who created it & 2ndfor those adjacent who support it (knowingly/unknowingly).
P #2: I’ve seen 4 voices on this topic:
- Anti-Intellectual: depreciates nuance,data,rationality
- Intellectual: uses complex nuance, data, Scripture, rationality
- Non-Intellectual: uses anecdotes, hyperbole, misuse of Scripture
- Pseudo-Intellectual: poses as Intellectual but
Sometimes Mental Illness wins. Everyday I wake up it’s a fight to not become another victim of it.
The battle is real. The struggle is exhausting and life still goes on.
The Lord is My strength.
One of the worst things you can do to a person who struggles with Mental Illness is use it against them during an argument.
This takes us to a dark place that some of us never return from.
Please 🛑
Since ADHD is hereditary, some days there’s an overwhelming sense of guilt I feel when I see our children wrestling with the same issues I do. I feel as if I’ve poisoned them and want to protect them from myself but also the world we live in, who likely won't understand them.
Q: D.A., what prevents American Protestants from seeing eye to eye about "the gospel" and "social issues'?
Me: On factor is the different lived experiences in either Individual leaning cultures vs Collectivist cultures.
Q: What do you mean?
Me: A 🧵. . .
(1)
First let me define my terms: Individualistic Culture &
Collectivistic Culture
Individualistic Culture – A laxly associated network where personal comfort, desires, interests, and preferences have greater emphasis and priority over those of larger communities or groups.
(2)
Collectivistic Culture – A loyally connected interpersonal environment where the interests and well-being of the overall group are given emphasis and priority over individual desires and interests.
Now, how these relate to American Protestantism teases out my thought.
(3)
Abusers in the church master the Art of Projection.
They refuse to confess their sins & toxic destructive behavior patterns directly. Yet, they directly accuse their victims of the sins & toxic destructive behavior patterns they personally have committed towards their victims.
The longer Abusers have been inside church culture they have become fluent in their use of Christian clichés when they are pressed to be held accountable.
Clichés such as: "Love does not keep score", "I don't hear any grace when you talk to me", "You can't judge my motives".
Abusers in the church are disciplined in keeping their tone pleasant & soft when they speak to others in order to hide their patterns of aggression and harm towards their victims. They know non-victims will step up and say "I've never heard them talk this way towards me".