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Snickelsox Profile picture
@snickelsox
Sep 14, 2020 • 3 tweets • 2 min read • Read on X
You know what the #DnDKaiju project needs? Something to combat the Kaiju! This subclass stands in direct opposition to the Roar of the Kaiju Bard. Hope you enjoy it and please spread this nonsense far and wide. #DnD Image
*stares at formatting mistake*
I could have sworn I fixed that. Guess it got lost in the shuffle. Oh well, v1.1 will fix it.
If you like this, the Kaiju Cleric is available on Patreon.

Patreon.com/Snickelsox

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More from @snickelsox

Snickelsox Profile picture
May 24, 2023
Child Alex: You’re big.

Boot. You rude. No say.

CA: Are you sick?

B: No.

CA: But you throw up lots and your belly… en-large-ed.

B: Ugh. I with child.

CA: Yeah, I’m a kid. You’re with me.

B: No what mean. I pregnant.

CA: Really!? Baby brother!

C: This complicated...
#DnD
B: Is no you brother or sister. I no you mom, I only protect. I… no you family.

CA: Sorry.

B: No sorry. No tears. You good child, just… no can be what you want. Must be this way.

CA: I get it. Nobody wants me.

B: I no say!
B: You wanted, much. I want… not like is though. You… understand when older.

CA: You haven't even told me your name.

B: It… *sigh* Lace. Name Lace.

CA: What’s your favorite animal?

B: Eh… uh… Like rats. They cute and toothy!

CA: Gross!

Both: *laughs*
Read 5 tweets
Snickelsox Profile picture
May 23, 2023
In a swirl, the dragon grabbed their polymorph cloak, shrinking in size to an average humanoid. They did their best to avoid the glare of the wizard.
“That’s mine,” the wizard said.
“I don’t care,” the dragon, now more resembling a dragonborn, shot back.
They reached for a small table and took a satchel of gold pieces.
“Don’t expect me to be here when you get back,” the wizard said.
“I just need to clear my head. I’ll be back later today,” they said, completing their collection task by grabbing another bag full of traveling… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
“Not much of a talker. I wonder, is this what your parents wanted for you? Well, not the ‘dead on an ash covered floor’ part, but the life of a city guard. It probably paid well. I bet they would have been thrilled. I can imagine your father and mother, so proud on the day you… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Read 10 tweets
Snickelsox Profile picture
May 23, 2023
Wizard: Oh, dear! What happened?!

Dragon: It was a trap. They attacked me. I’m hurt pretty badly.

W: What about all the gold?

D: I didn-I lost it.

W: Did you lose your temper again? You’re so unreliable.

D: I’m sorry…

W: It’s fine. *sigh* Let’s fix you.

D: Thanks...
#DnD
Trigger Warning: Emotional Abuse

W: Wow, this is pretty deep. What did they hit you with?

D: Some crystal thing. It started covering my face.

W: I told you to watch out for that.

D: You did?

W: Yes, I did.

D: I don’t remember that.

W: I know you don’t.
W: But I wasn’t talking about that. I was talking about this bleeding gash.

D: Oh I uh… I don’t feel so good.

W: Don’t worry, you know I take care of you, in spite of everything.

D: What does that mean?

W: Nothing, just words.
Read 13 tweets
Snickelsox Profile picture
May 22, 2023
Succubus: Hey mom, I brought you a soul!

Demon Queen: Thanks honey…

S: It’s a ripe one, full of experience. Just like you like.

DQ: …

S: Mom? What’s wrong?

DQ: It would have been your brother’s birthday today.

S: Yeah, I know… I miss him too.
#DnD
I'm not telling these stories in a linear fashion. Here's more of these characters.
A different splinter.

Read 4 tweets
Snickelsox Profile picture
May 12, 2023
Lyle sat with their hands together, fingers interlaced, their attention fixed heavily on the planks beneath them. Their mother and father sat a few feet away, two more faces among the dozens of others in the moving wooden crate.
They were all fleeing their home and the weight of it could be seen in every dull eye.

The attacks had been relentless, days and days of fire coming from the sky. At first, the city tried to strike back. Those that stood against the dragon wound up as piles of molten metal and… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Lyle looked into his mother’s eyes. There was fear, there was pain. She broke her gaze and looked down at her chest, touching the crystal briefly before collapsing to the cart. His father screamed, pulled against the rail, and tried, in vain, to reach out to his love with his one… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Read 5 tweets
Snickelsox Profile picture
May 11, 2023
Fighter: Our trap will be here, right in the middle of the caravan.

Barbarian: Finally, we will cleave the head of the serpent!

Cleric: Are we sure this is a good idea?

F: With all those people and all the gold we planted, it’s dragon-nip.

C: That’s what worries me.
#DnD
F: What do you mean?

C: It just doesn’t feel right.

B: I disagree. This trap is nearly flawless.

C: No, not the idea. It works but… these people didn’t sign up for it.

F: Nobody signs up for a dragon attack.
F: The best keeps attacking, it keeps killing. It is a monster and needs to be put down by any means necessary.

C: Even if that means sacrificing those fleeing from it?

F: …

C: …

F: …yes.
Read 8 tweets

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