Part 3:
Which Biblical characters said these to who?

1) Na wall be dis? Sometin wey if fox go climb untop, e go collapse!

2) You tink say my spirit no follow you when you go collect money & cloth from dat man?

3) If I be man of God, make fire fall from heaven roast all of una!
4) Na you we dey wait for abi na anoda pesin?

5) I sabi Jesus, I sabi Paul: who you be?

6) Bros Zaky, come down biko.
Na your house I go chop this evening...

7) If I jus fit touch him cloth...

8) Maybe una god dey sleep- make una shout well well, make una wake am!
9) See yasef?
You be king, you dey dance upandan like pesin wey don craze!

10) Na de man wey get dis ring & bangle gimme belle!

11) Dis boy, wetin you dey do here? Where you put de goats and sheep?

12) My son, e be like say your brother dey vex, he wan kill you join sef...
13) Ah! You again! You wan kee me as you kee dat man yesterday, abi?

14) Kabiyesi, e be like say I don get belle fa...

15) You no need come my house, abeg. Just talk am, my pikin go dey ok...

16) Why you dey yarn like all dis foolish women?

17) Lazarus die? We go die with am!
18) Abeg come kill me sharp sharp- make dem no say na woman kill me!

19) Abeg, no vex- if na only 5 righteous people dey dia nko...?

20) Jisos! Snake don bite am! E go soon die now...

Oya- let's go dia!
😇
#PidginEnglishBible

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More from @harrydaniyan

Oct 29
Some years ago, a friend called me from Lagos.
"Harry, I'll be coming to Abuja for a project I will be supervising (he's a Building Engineer). I'll be around for about 6 months. Can I stay with you, please?"

I was living alone in a 3 bedroom flat, it wasn't a problem for me...
So I agreed.
He came over a few days later & I gave him a room to stay.
He'd leave the house early in the morning to the site & return around 8pm.

After a month, he told me his wife would want to come over for a weekend.
Is it ok?
No problem, Bro: she's welcome to visit you...
She flew over on a Friday to return to Lagos Monday morning.
I had never met her before, so the husband introduced us when she landed.

She took over the kitchen & made us dinner that Friday evening.
She dished my meal in a plate & dished hers & her husband's together.
Read 11 tweets
Oct 29
This reminds me of a situation some years ago.
After Service, some folks wanted to see the Pastor for counselling.
He then asked a few of them to see me so the load on him would reduce.
So, I became an "Emergency Counsellor" that Sunday morning.

The 1st guy sat in front of me...
"What is the problem, Sir?"
He told me his story.

When he was done, I told him: "your problem is not a big deal, Sir. I'll give you a simple solution..."
He sat up, eager to hear the solution.
I told him, "Go read the Book of Galatians & let's talk on Wednesday!"

He was MIFFED!
"The WHOLE Book?"
"Yes, Sir (the Book of Galatians is just 6 Chapters)."
"Ha! Can't you just PRAY for me?"
"No, Sir. It's not a PRAYER problem: it's a KNOWLEDGE problem..."
He got up & walked away to join the queue of those to see the Pastor.

Pastor was surprised to see him...
Read 4 tweets
Oct 25
"The lack of CRITICAL THINKING among citizens is scary..."

The average Nigerian is more about EMOTIONS than LOGIC.
We are wired to REACT first and THINK later.

Some days ago I asked a young lady: imagine you are newly married (no kids yet) just you & your husband at home...
And one Saturday morning, he tells you, "Babe, I want to go watch Arsenal play Chelsea by 4pm in my friend's house".

What will you do?
She replied, "I will be VERY ANGRY with him!"
I asked why.

Why should ANGER be an option?
He just voiced a desire: why should that bring ANGER?
She said, "I wouldn't want him to go: I'll want him to stay home and we enjoy each others company!"
Fine.
So, rather than get ANGRY, why don't you voice your own desire too?
Why not say, "Babe, please don't go: stay home with me!"

She kept quiet for a while.
Then she said:
Read 5 tweets
Aug 18
"Imagine all Nigerians relocate to the US & all Americans relocate to Nigeria... What do you think will happen in 10 years?"

Rev'd Sam Adeyemi @sam_adeyemi asked this rhetorical question in Church, @DaystarNG over 20 years ago.

There were several responses to the question...
And all agree on ONE thing:
In 10 years, Nigeria would have become a much better place where things work, America would have become a worse place where things don't work anymore.

Rev'd Sam then said: "that tells you that THE MAN MAKES THE PLACE, THE PLACE DOESN'T MAKE THE MAN!"
He went on to explain:
Your EXTERNAL atmosphere will ALWAYS be at the level of your INTERNAL atmosphere.
You will ALWAYS raise or reduce your EXTERNAL atmosphere to the level of your INTERNAL atmosphere.

To BETTER or DESTROY your environment depends on your INTERNAL ATMOSPHERE!
Read 18 tweets
Aug 16
Social Media is a funny place.
It exposes the GULLIBILITY of the average Nigerian.

Anyone could invent a story, post it on Social Media & people would simply BELIEVE it!

No EVIDENCE.
No PROOF.
NO DATA!
Just mere WORDS.
And people (who you'd deem INTELLIGENT) would BELIEVE...
I remember when I was in the University, a classmate had a knack for telling us stories about happenings in the AFRC (Armed Forces Ruling Council, for the younger generation) Meetings.
He'd tell us, "As Babangida enter the Meeting, Abacha ask am, "Where you go yesterday?"...
Aikhomu con vex, ask Abacha why he no greet am fes? "Babangida no be your mate ooo! Na your Oga, you suppose respect am!"
Na dat day Abacha decide say he go do coup, comot Babangida!"

When he told us these tales, we'd bombard him with QUESTIONS!
"How you KNOW? You dey there?!"
Read 15 tweets
Aug 15
Once upon a time, there was a Kingdom on this Planet with very interesting citizens.
ALL of them had ONE EYE: it was a genetic disorder.

At some point, they decided to crown themselves a King.
They went through a rigorous process & shortlisted 4 men for the throne...
After a keenly contested battle, 1 was picked.
He was crowned King in a very Grand Ceremony.

As soon as he took over the reins of the Kingdom, he appointed his team of Chiefs, Captains & Leaders to help him rule over the people.

But with time, the people got disgruntled...
They didn't like his style of rulership.
They complained he wasn't as VISIONARY as they expected.

Dissenting voices developed among the people.
With time, the group grew larger & larger.
They decided to protest against the King & his policies.

But the King had supporters too...
Read 5 tweets

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