Part 3:
Which Biblical characters said these to who?

1) Na wall be dis? Sometin wey if fox go climb untop, e go collapse!

2) You tink say my spirit no follow you when you go collect money & cloth from dat man?

3) If I be man of God, make fire fall from heaven roast all of una!
4) Na you we dey wait for abi na anoda pesin?

5) I sabi Jesus, I sabi Paul: who you be?

6) Bros Zaky, come down biko.
Na your house I go chop this evening...

7) If I jus fit touch him cloth...

8) Maybe una god dey sleep- make una shout well well, make una wake am!
9) See yasef?
You be king, you dey dance upandan like pesin wey don craze!

10) Na de man wey get dis ring & bangle gimme belle!

11) Dis boy, wetin you dey do here? Where you put de goats and sheep?

12) My son, e be like say your brother dey vex, he wan kill you join sef...
13) Ah! You again! You wan kee me as you kee dat man yesterday, abi?

14) Kabiyesi, e be like say I don get belle fa...

15) You no need come my house, abeg. Just talk am, my pikin go dey ok...

16) Why you dey yarn like all dis foolish women?

17) Lazarus die? We go die with am!
18) Abeg come kill me sharp sharp- make dem no say na woman kill me!

19) Abeg, no vex- if na only 5 righteous people dey dia nko...?

20) Jisos! Snake don bite am! E go soon die now...

Oya- let's go dia!
😇
#PidginEnglishBible

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More from @harrydaniyan

Apr 19
I built an 11 unit Estate in Abuja in 2019 & needed electricity meters for the houses.
I went to see the MD of Abuja Electricity Distribution Company, Engineer Ernest a Zambian & he told me to talk to the AEDC Area Manager about it.
I did, he told me they had no meters available.
I called the MD & put it on speaker.
MD told him, "you KNOW we have over 20,000 meters in the store! Why do you folks keep telling customers we don't have metres???"

It was a Friday.
The MD told the Area Manager: "if that estate doesn't have meters by Monday, heads WILL roll!"
Monday, 9am I got to the site.
10 meters had been installed, they were on the 11th.
They begged me to wait for them to finish with it before calling their MD.

You wonder why the Zambian MD had more sense & was more easily accessible than the Nigerians under him...?
Read 4 tweets
Apr 3
The Accuser.
The Judge.
The Jury.
The Mob.
The Executioner.

SCENE ONE: Sokoto

The MOB accused her of BLASPHEMY.

The MOB became the JURY & found her GUILTY.

The JURY became the JUDGE & sentenced her to DEATH.

The JUDGE transformed into the Executioner & MURDERED her...
SCENE TWO: Uromi.

The Mob accused them of KIDNAPPING.

The MOB changed into the JURY & found them GUILTY.

The JURY changed into the JUDGE & sentenced them to DEATH.

The JUDGE transformed into the EXECUTIONER & MURDERED them...
SCENE THREE: ALUU.

The MOB accused them of ARMED ROBBERY.

The MOB changed into the JURY & found them GUILTY.

The JURY changed into the JUDGE & sentenced them to DEATH.

The JUDGE transformed into the Executioner & MURDERED them...
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Mar 21
Bola Tinubu is an interesting character.
He makes his detractors & opponents underestimate him on purpose.

He has this demeanour of a dour sleepy Man with half a brain, but he is FAR from that!
He is a very deep thinker & master strategist.
He always KNOWS what he's doing...
Do you remember the song, "hand dey shake, leg dey shake, Baba wey no well...🎵"?
The Opposition thought he was going senile!

When he presented the 2025 Budget to the National Assembly, he made a Freudian slip (or so we thought): he called them the 11th National Assembly...
I think today y'all should KNOW he was DELIBERATE! He ended his speech with, "That means you are ALL reelected!"

They gave him a standing ovation!
That man ALWAYS KNOWS what he is doing, folks.
Underestimate him at your peril!

He picked Femi Gbajabiamila as his COS...
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Mar 19
"Hello? Hello?"
"Yes, how are you, Simi?"
"Good morning, Sir! I am NOT fine Sir!"
"Why?"
"They want to impeach me, Sir! Please, help me Sir!"
"Simi! But I wanted to help you before! I brought you & your HOA Members together to talk & you all signed an agreement, remember...?"
"Yes Sir! I'm sorry, Sir!"
"Why did you renege on the agreement you signed?"
"It's the Devil, Sir! I am sorry, Sir! Help me, Sir!"
"Ok... So how do you want me to help you? You know I'm not a member of your Party: maybe you should call Atiku to help you, Simi..."
"Ha! That one?"
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"Yes, I heard..."
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Mar 19
My friend, @praisefowowe wrote:
"The world is shifting rapidly, & the era of lawless leaders & bullies is upon us.
A GENERATION is being led into CONFUSION, where what is RIGHT is simply what is LOUDEST.

TRUTH is being DROWNED in NOISE & VALUES are being REWRITTEN...
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I've not heard or read a more succint statement in a very long time.

Today, the world believes the more NOISE they make, the EASIER it is for their views to be ACCEPTED by others.

Just as AUCTIONS go to the HIGHEST Bidder...
TRUTH goes to the LOUDEST Noise Maker.

The LGBTQ Community understands this very well, so they make the loudest noise about their Movement, drowning all dissenting voices into oblivion.

It's practically a CRIME today if you choose to insist you will NOT support the Movement!
Read 8 tweets
Mar 14
A father went to pick up his 6 year old boy from school.
He was alarmed when he got to the school to meet his son CRYING!!!
"What happened, son?"
"It's him!!!" The son pointed to his classmate, a big, fat boy!

The father was ANGRY!
He immediately went to see the Head Master...
"I will NOT accept my son being BULLIED in this school! I DEMAND that bully is PUNISHED!"

Head Master smiled.
"You're getting it wrong, Sir. Your son was NOT bullied. Maybe you should ask him why he's crying, Sir."

Woah!

He turned to his son: "What really happened, Son?"
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The father was SHOCKED!
He had jumped to a WRONG conclusion!
His son wasn't bullied: he was THE Bully!!!
Read 10 tweets

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