I know quite a few individuals who have been abused by their partners. The abuse has been emotional, psychological and controlling and has had an effect on their self-esteem.

But they are not in fear of their partner.

THREAD
They want to stay in the relationship. They say they love their partner but they don’t love the behaviour.

Their partners are willing to address their abusive behaviour- in order to save the relationship.
But this is the problem:

Even though the partner has acknowledged their abusive behaviour and has done/is doing the work to address this, their partner is unable to move beyond it and is consumed with anger.
And, they are unable to find the support they need, because ALL they have managed to find is *support* that says they need to leave, they are confusing codependency with love, that if they stay they are consenting to abuse.
When what they DESPERATELY want is help with how to process their sense of betrayal, their anger and how to stop punishing their partner for what happened.

Yet they are told time and time again that if they can’t *forgive*, they need to leave.

How is this helpful?

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More from @CCChatMagazine

Aug 31, 2023
What kind of ecosystem breeds #coercivecontrol?

🧵
First and foremost, a climate where bullies are rewarded.
When they’re not held to account but rewarded with getting their own way because others are too scared to confront them, that is the perfect Petri dish for #coercivecontrol
Different rules for different people.

Making allowances for, or ignoring bullying/inappropriate/abusive behaviours of people we like or admire.
Holding them to a lower standard because they’re family, or a celebrity, or wealthy, or we benefit in some way from looking away.
Read 14 tweets
May 2, 2023
I detest the term *parental alienation* with a passion and now I won’t use it.

It used to be called ‘Threat Therapy’.

A🧵
I’ve been told, frequently, that not all perpetrators are men, that mums get *alienated* too and that denying the existence of PA means denying that abusers DO and WILL maliciously sever a relationship between parent and child.

And yes, all of the above IS true.
But refusing to use that term is NOT the same as denying that this happens.

So, for avoidance of doubt, here is why I believe the term *parental alienation* should not be used:
Read 22 tweets
Jan 26, 2023
Churches stayed mainly silent when Nazis were persecuting Jews.

There were also those who abetted the Nazis to escape and gave them false documents.

A 🧵

#HolocaustMemorialDay
Adolf Eichmann was aided by a Franciscan monk who helped him obtain an Argentine visa and who signed an application for a falsified Red Cross passport.

Eichmann masterminded the Nazi network of death camps that resulted in the murder of approximately 6 million Jews.
Josef Mengele fled to Argentina with the help of a Catholic clergy member.

Nicknamed the “Angel of Death” he conducted experiments at Auschwitz particularly on twins, pregnant women and the disabled. Mengele even tortured and killed children with his medical experiments.
Read 7 tweets
Jan 25, 2023
WHAT HE SAYS TO YOU
- versus -
WHAT HE SAYS TO OTHERS

A🧵

#coercivecontrol
To you: You’re too beautiful to do the housework. I don’t want you to cook/clean/tidy.

To others: She thinks she’s too good to do the cleaning. She never does anything around the house.
To you: You are so good to your friends, they don’t deserve you and everything you do for them.

To others: She thinks you’re ungrateful and don’t appreciate everything she does for you.
Read 23 tweets
Nov 16, 2022
Let’s talk about the chronic low self-esteem following a campaign of psychological and emotional abuse.

🧵
We live in a world that sees physical violence as harmful and psychological/emotional abuse as minor.

A significant reason is down to the fact that physical violence is easier to evidence and so, therefore easier to *SEE*.
And whilst this is true, it fails to understand and acknowledge the severe harm that is inflicted in the absence of physical abuse.

And it’s deep-rooted longevity.
Read 20 tweets
Nov 14, 2022
“On one occasion, she said, male officers taped her phone to the ceiling, telling her: “We’re gonna watch your arse when you climb on the table.””

How a dead officer’s iPhone exposes misogyny, corruption and racism in a police force
🧵
Ricky Jones, a retired police officer knew where many of Gwent police’s skeletons were buried, but it wasn’t until his death that his own began to emerge.

In 2020, he jumped to his death from a bridge.

He left behind his wife and three daughters.
To the outside world Jones was a respected former copper and family man. But behind closed doors he subjected his family to decades of #domesticabuse.
Read 25 tweets

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