1/
#HumanismAlways, Day 6
Intern Year
Her: "You okay?"
Me: "Ma'am?"
Her: "Look like you was having a rough time when y'all were in here earlier."
Me: "Oh. That."
She was referring to post call rounds when I was presenting her case to my attending.
It had not gone well.
#HumanismAlways, Day 6
Intern Year
Her: "You okay?"
Me: "Ma'am?"
Her: "Look like you was having a rough time when y'all were in here earlier."
Me: "Oh. That."
She was referring to post call rounds when I was presenting her case to my attending.
It had not gone well.
2/
Her: "I thought you did just fine when you talked to me."
Me: *sagging shoulders*
Her: "But look like you started to come all unraveled when he started with all them questions."
Me: *sigh* "Yeah. It's a lot I don't know."
Her: *smiling* "It's a lot you do know, too."
Her: "I thought you did just fine when you talked to me."
Me: *sagging shoulders*
Her: "But look like you started to come all unraveled when he started with all them questions."
Me: *sigh* "Yeah. It's a lot I don't know."
Her: *smiling* "It's a lot you do know, too."
3/
Me: "I'm glad you think so."
She smiled at me, her wizened eyes twinkling.
Her: "You don't think so?"
Me: *shrug* "I don't know."
It had been a rough post call day. I hadn't gotten any sleep. But I was prepared. Or so I'd thought.
That is, until we started rounding.
Me: "I'm glad you think so."
She smiled at me, her wizened eyes twinkling.
Her: "You don't think so?"
Me: *shrug* "I don't know."
It had been a rough post call day. I hadn't gotten any sleep. But I was prepared. Or so I'd thought.
That is, until we started rounding.
4/
Me: "I read up and felt ready. But I guess I wasn't."
Her: "Some folk just won't let you be ready."
*silence*
Me: "Yeah. I guess."
Her: *nodding*
Me: "Honestly? I think my attending just doesn't really like me. I mean, I got stuff I can work on. But it's more than that."
Me: "I read up and felt ready. But I guess I wasn't."
Her: "Some folk just won't let you be ready."
*silence*
Me: "Yeah. I guess."
Her: *nodding*
Me: "Honestly? I think my attending just doesn't really like me. I mean, I got stuff I can work on. But it's more than that."
5/
She threw her head back and let out a throaty laugh. It caught me off guard.
Her: "When you get old as I am? You figure out that people not liking you don't matter. 'Cause somebody somewhere always gon' not like you."
Me: *listening*
Her: "Know what does matter though?"
She threw her head back and let out a throaty laugh. It caught me off guard.
Her: "When you get old as I am? You figure out that people not liking you don't matter. 'Cause somebody somewhere always gon' not like you."
Me: *listening*
Her: "Know what does matter though?"
6/
Me: "What's that?"
Her: "YOU liking you." *narrowing her eyes* "Do YOU like you?"
I had to think about that. In that moment I wasn't fully sure.
Her: "See, the only way you you can really be bothered by somebody not liking you? Is if YOU don't like you first."
Me: "What's that?"
Her: "YOU liking you." *narrowing her eyes* "Do YOU like you?"
I had to think about that. In that moment I wasn't fully sure.
Her: "See, the only way you you can really be bothered by somebody not liking you? Is if YOU don't like you first."
7/
Her: "I can't tell you what had that head doctor treating you like that. But I can say I liked the way you attended to me as my doctor."
I was so tired. It took everything in me not to cry right on her lap.
Her: "But as for not liking you? Don't give that no airplay, baby."
Her: "I can't tell you what had that head doctor treating you like that. But I can say I liked the way you attended to me as my doctor."
I was so tired. It took everything in me not to cry right on her lap.
Her: "But as for not liking you? Don't give that no airplay, baby."
8/
Her: "Just make sure you somebody YOU like first. Try your best and do right by folks. Then just go on and focus on what you can do to help the patient in front of you."
Now I was full on crying. Which she met with a soft chuckle.
Her: "Oh. You gon' be just fine."
Her: "Just make sure you somebody YOU like first. Try your best and do right by folks. Then just go on and focus on what you can do to help the patient in front of you."
Now I was full on crying. Which she met with a soft chuckle.
Her: "Oh. You gon' be just fine."
9/
That happened nearly 24 years ago. And while the fine details may involve some creative license, the lesson has been seared into my brain since 1996.
Yup.
In my hardest times of training, I could always find solace at the bedside with a patient. That has not changed.
That happened nearly 24 years ago. And while the fine details may involve some creative license, the lesson has been seared into my brain since 1996.
Yup.
In my hardest times of training, I could always find solace at the bedside with a patient. That has not changed.
10/
I've carried her powerful words with me since that day--and pay them forward as much as I can.
1. Make sure YOU like you. Make YOUR acceptance the one you seek.
2. Focus most on the patient & less on what someone else will think.
3. If you can't do #2, go back to #1.
And.
I've carried her powerful words with me since that day--and pay them forward as much as I can.
1. Make sure YOU like you. Make YOUR acceptance the one you seek.
2. Focus most on the patient & less on what someone else will think.
3. If you can't do #2, go back to #1.
And.
11/
This last one is mine:
4. Go back to the bedside. And just be.
Because cool findings always await. Always and in all ways.
Yeah. 😊🛏️
P.S. These days? I work hard at liking me. And I'm proud to say that as of 2020, I'm alright with me.
#7DaysofHumanism
This last one is mine:
4. Go back to the bedside. And just be.
Because cool findings always await. Always and in all ways.
Yeah. 😊🛏️
P.S. These days? I work hard at liking me. And I'm proud to say that as of 2020, I'm alright with me.
#7DaysofHumanism
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