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SMALLIE

@the_smallie

Oct 3, 2020 • 16 tweets • 7 min read • Read on X

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Summary of today's gist: A thread

1.

So today, one guy (MisterNigerD) said the only place Dr Funmi is winning is on Twitter. He claimed Dr Funmi has lost his job and license in real life.
Many people don drag the guy for morning 😂

Yankee Twitter be doing the most

2.

Not long after, one guy(Heartbeat) said his babe is a bad person for collecting money from his mother after making her hair.

While the guy said she is foolish, the babe told him that it's her hustle, say na so she dey get her own 2k from site😂

3.

It didn't even get to 12 noon before one tweep(Akor) called most Nigerian girls "Prostitutes" in a tweet he tweeted....

"According to Oxford dictionary, most Nigerian girls are into prostitution but they call it relationship"

Yunno 9ja babes nau, Dem don drag the guy tire😂

4.

Arewa tweep (Usman) posted a picture of one babe captioned
"I love this girl deep in my heart, anytime I message her she doesn't want to respond. Can someone advise me on what to do with this situation?"

Babe replied with
"Bro I don’t love u pls can u stop doing this? "
😭

Ad-Break!🔥

Use Jalin herbal and satisfy your babe oo.

I no wan hear say person use knacks carry your babe.

contact wa.me/2348113679553 to place an order💃

5.

Aproko Doctor advised against unnecessary sex, one(Ada) jumped on it saying sex will always lead to men's downfall.
That's how one(Ifeanyi) vexly replied her..

"And whats the quickest road to a woman's downfall? Everytime "men's downfall". Women, una dey even rise at all?"

6.

Sars shot and killed a guy today in Delta State, those guys in black still took the dead guys Lexus Jeep and drove away😩

#EndSARS

7.

Twitter influencer(ObongRoviel) said the only problem he has in his life is the fact that Davido is the poorest among his siblings.
One guy said...
"No wonder, poor people make the loudest noise"

Some one replied him with...
"That's why you have to reduce your volume"

8.

One Instagram influencer (Demilade) was dragged here by a tweep(Vera) who claimed she gave her merch to Demilade to wear, take pictures and promote, this is the 3rd week now she has been calling, Demilade no post and she no wan pick call.

See cruise😂😂😂

9.

(SwitOpe) came and said Sars slapped a soldier!
"Soldier wasn’t wearing his uniform 😂😭. Now he has showed his ID card and he’s making phone calls. They don carry am enter corner now to be begging but baba no gree 😭"

I can imagine what happened to the Sars guy 😂😂😂

10

Mazi said it's now difficult for him to wear flashy clothes outside because of Sars, Attacker of Feminist coven (Ebelee) replied him...
"Welcome to our world. Not so fun being on the receiving end now is it ? Cry me a damn river"

Werey think say Sars slap na Gender based

Today has been Violent online and offline.

Feminist coven have shown they are ready for the weekend.

We hope shepeteri Twitter doesn't bring a false news🤲🏻
"Just got slapped by sars now, and I can't find my bread"

I come in peace but I'll be here for the Violence 🔥🤟🏻

In respect to the fight against Sars,some apps have been recommended just incase of emergencies 🔥

All these Rubbish needs to stop!!!!
#EndSARS #SarsAlert

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More from @the_smallie

SMALLIE

@the_smallie

Sep 25

Gist with Smallie: The Bobrisky Saga

1.

Early in the morning before we brushed our teeth, VeryDarkman posted a video telling Bobrisky to do the needful. What could possibly be needed by that time of the day?

Na money na money na money, na money oo

Stay with me 🏃🏼

2.

VDM posted a screenshot of a chat between Bobrisky and one guy that was asking for his money.

Apparently Bobrisky borrowed 4 million hard earned Tinubu naira from the guy since and she doesn’t want to pay back.

If the guy was younger, he’d have started crying sef

3.

The guy said he’s going to take action and Bobrisky said..

“Do your worst”

Ahhh, on top person money? Be like Bobrisky chop plenty liver rice for prison.

But wait, did Bobrisky actually go to prison? We’d get to that part soon.

Nigeria go whyne you but no panic

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SMALLIE

@the_smallie

Aug 23

Gist with Smallie: A thread

1.

I was going to hustle for fuel when I saw South Africans inside a big pot being cooked by Nigerians.

I said I should mind my business and look away till someone shouted from the back.

“Put Enisa, Put Enisa” Ahh, what’s going on?

2.

I dropped keg and ran to the cooking spot to ask if the Enisa they are putting is salt or maggi before I met one chef Smallie that was aggressively putting Enisa inside the pot.

I asked him what happened and before he could say anything, tears started dripping from his eyes.

3.

He said I should bring chair that he wants to tell me a deep true life story, ahh this must be serious.

He said there’s a female artist from Albania called (Enisa) that gained the attention and love of Nigerians during their EndSars protest.

So why are they cooking her now?

Read 16 tweets

SMALLIE

@the_smallie

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Gist With Smallie: A thread

1.

A normal day in Lagos as Oshodi Mr Beast (Asherkine) took to the streets to do his philanthropy work which later caused catastrophe on this Elon Musk newly acquired application.

He met a bus driver whose family news drove the internet crazy.

2.

As Asherkine was buying foodstuff for the bus driver to take home, the wife was on Facebook cooking the husband without ingredients as she posted her pictures with the hashtag #singlemom

Single mum explaining her post after seeing what Bus driver came home with

3.

Asherkines videos brought different agenda to the TL as the bus driver was working on the same day his children were graduating in school.

Twitter for Men are bad parents said the bus driver is an irresponsible father while 4am cooking Twitter showered the man with praises

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SMALLIE

@the_smallie

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Gist with Smallie: A thread

1.

Hello Habibi, yk the cold weather that comes with this rainy season doesn’t last long anymore because someone is always coming to heat up the TL. 🥲

This week, it was Burna boy that came to burn down the whole TL. As usual, fasten your seatbelts.

2.

Davido didn’t even take his wedding clothes off before he went to fight for custody of his child Imade with Sophia Momodu.

As Davido is using legal step to drag Imade from one hand, Sophia is also dragging her from the other hand but that’s not the main part of this thread.

3.

After wedding, Davido and his wife Chioma left Nigeria for their honeymoon and while they were travelling…

A concerned fan advised Burna boy to also get married and he even used Davido as a good example and that’s where problem started.

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Gist with Smallie: New year Edition

1.

The problem started when people made “No gree for anybody” their new year resolution bringing imbalance to our social space as no one was ready to be the bigger person.

Sit tight as I walk you through the valley of shadow of vawulence.

2.

We shall open this years gist with DJ Cuppy, do you copy?

After leaving Twitter influencer (AsiwajuLerry) for British boxer (Ryan Taylor)

Lerry decided to curb tribalism a little as he went on to date an Igbo girl (Amara)

That’s where problem started.

3.

Everybody moved on till the British boxer fought his way out of the relationship.

Months later, Aunty Cuppy cupped Casamigo that Wizkid kept for his Amigos before coming to tweet…

“Hiiiiiii it’s me again 🥹 AsiwajuLerry”

That’s how Twitter people dragged her and her dogs

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1.

Omo, where do I start from? Which one I wan talk, which one go remain?

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2.

Many conspiracy theories sprang up after Mohbads death but the one that gained more attention was when Sam Lerry sorry Sam Larry and his boys harassed Mohbad at a video shoot.

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