Prowling around the empty nighttime suburbs with headphones on, trying to figure out if this tree in someone’s yard is a chestnut (no, chinquapin), I hear a man’s voice across the street behind me: M’AM. M’AM. M’AM!!!
I think: am I about to be tackled? I think: does he think I’m a cat burglar? Does he he have a gun? I turn around, take my headphones off slowly.
M’AM.
It’s an older guy standing in his front door with a glass of wine.
SORRY TO STARTLE
YOU, BUT I WOULD LIKE TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. LOOK TO THE HORIZON THERE. IN A MOMENT YOU WILL SEE THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION.
“Oh wow!” I say. And right on cue, it comes into view, a slow firefly.
We stare up in silence, mouths open, 20 feet apart.
THEY’RE JUST GOING ABOUT THEIR BUSINESS UP THERE, he says. We are silent some more.
“Do you...do this often?” I say.
YES, I HAVE AN APP, he says.
I hold up my phone and the leaf I’ve low key just ripped off the tree I’m standing under. “I also have an app,” I say. “For trees.”
Two weirdos nod at each other solemnly.
I took a video of the ISS moving through the sky, but I can’t upload it till I get home. Imagine a tiny bright spark passing by, unhurried, while an old man and not-young woman stare up in their frozen places from an empty street. Your people are out there, even in the dark.
NOT TO RUIN THE FUNGIBLE, GESTURAL QUALITIES OF METAPHOR HERE WITH TWO POSTSCRIPTS OR ANYTHING, BUT:
1. the story of the American chestnut is one of microscopic hope in the face of mind-boggling grief. Its salvation and our own are tenderly intertwined.
Please read THE OVERSTORY by Richard Powers to understand why. Please also donate to @chestnut1904 if you're so moved.
2. I use @PictureThisAI and iNaturalist. No idea what Mr. 2-neighborhoods-over used for the ISS. And the leaf I'm holding is a CHINQUAPIN OAK. Already made ID!
ME AGAIN!
I’m seeing so many people say they felt buoyed and refreshed by this story, comforted to tears.
Me too! Such is the power of wonder, play, and nature. A power that is—like all of them here—segregated. Violently so.
Ok no just kidding. I am going to auction off JUST ONE of my The Subconcious candles today and donate 100% of money received to Project Corazón, the @lawyers4goodgov fund supporting pro bono legal representation for migrant families at the border. Rules below.
The fragrance notes of The Subconscious are: haunting petrichor (wet earth), a zing of ozonic minerals, vetiver, sandalwood, bergamot, and, reprising his role as a symbol of the unfathomable Real, Moby Dick. As in sperm whale ambergris oil.
I made these for myself as an orgy of ingredients so luxurious that with retail markup this candle would be maybe $150. I made all of 8 8-oz candles, and in that batch there is:
Tonight’s candle batch is The Subconscious: more than half a cup of Indian petrichor in sandalwood oil, haunting minerals, bergamot, and in honor of a classic metaphor for the elusive and unfathomable Real, uh....ambergris oil I ordered from Nantucket. Shout out to Cap. Ahab.
This is simultaneously the most beautiful thing I have ever smelled and a real “Anna oh God what are you even doing with these candles” moment for me. AND NO YOU CANNOT HAVE ONE THEY’RE MY PRECIOUS.
I JUST PUT DISTILLED SPERM WHALE DIGESTIVE MATTER INTO A CANDLE WHILE MOANING
Hi! Do you like distracting yourself from vague horrors you can't control by deep-diving on esoteric Wikipedia horrors you can? If so, here are some lists for you! (If not, mute me for 5 minutes)
Happy Valentimes, everyone. Shout out to @matt_latimer and nearly 11 years of giving each other courage, counsel, and safety. Romantic love is great! Here are some additional kinds of love I am grateful for today:
@matt_latimer 1. PEDESTRIAN
The love you develop for people after seeing them every day for years. Viz: everyone at @rossyoon and Trister, Ross, the occupants of the office where I worked from ‘05-‘19. The way @DaraKaye just has to run in and share everything bizarre that comes into her inbox.
@matt_latimer@RossYoon@DaraKaye The way @allenmattison sighs with what sounds like existential stress every time he’s at the Xerox. The way the late, wonderful Mike Trister walked around with excessive loose change in his pockets: a legendary lawyer who sounded like one of Santa’s reindeer.
Good morning! I am dying inside at the level of well-intentioned but totally-off opining about seven-figure advances in my feed. Remind me later today to talk about various reasons why you all are wrong about this, although I do love you.
PS: editors, while I’m finishing the school run, now is the chance to DM me the anonymous insider opining you’re too shy to share on your own feed 👀👀
OK, I really have to keep this quick, but: first, a reminder that 6-7 advances for single books are payable in 4 installments, typically spanning 4 years, sometimes more. An increasing # of 7-figure advances are 5-installment. But let's say the deal is $1 mil, 4 installments.
An industry conversation that also needs to happen - overlapping with if less urgent than the whiteness issue - is the class issue. I could talk for hours with the obsessed and good-faith among you about the as yet unanalyzed class nuances involved in the topic at hand.
To be clear: the race issue is WAY more urgent, as narrative injustice there results in disenfranchisement and danger beyond “mere” shame and shaming. But we need to do some accounting within whiteness as well. Specifically:
The agent/editor side of the industry is concentrated w/people who hear “7 figure advance” and immediately amortize it down to “entry level white shoe lawyer $ for 4 years or so, plus whatever years of spec time spent writing. Hm yes, nothing to sniff at!” Which is...not...yeah.