Quick thread: Julia Ward Howe wrote “Battle Hymn of the Republic” while married to a spectacularly awful, abusive, whiny, undermining, coercive nightmare of an older husband—the 19th century equivalent of a Male Feminist, all progressive talk in public and tyranny at home. They had six kids. She tried to leave; he threatened to take the kids away forever and ruin her, then allowed her to come back only if she “consented” to compulsory sex with him.

Forced birther to the core. She was trapped and miserable. Gives a new meaning to the song, yes?

Once more for the people in the back: the near-wholesale loss of American chestnuts was the biggest ecological disaster in American history. Appalachian poverty is what it is today in large part because the chestnuts disappeared. EASTERN FORESTS USED TO LOOK LIKE THIS, PEOPLE:

https://twitter.com/seywarddarby/status/1366761083273433090

This tree *was* the social safety net for people in the region -- white, Black, Native. It was often used as currency. It was a staple food source. Were they still around in preblight numbers, chestnuts could meet the caloric needs of the *entire current US population*

Work reminder for anyone who needs to hear it: just about everyone is at present in a deep, screeching psychological hell of complicated and substantially nonsensical origin. This is not your fault. You did not cause it, you cannot cure it, you can't control it. I am talking about your crazy as well as whatever of other people's crazy is careening into you. Unfortunately, plenty of adults lack object permanence and can only process abstract/zeitgeist stress if the attribute it to something in the room. It's not you.

Good morning! Thanks to some article one of you a-holes posted this week, I remembered that Homer Simpson is supposed to be 34. THIRTY-FOUR. I am now a year older than Homer Simpson. 😭 OK, but wait: according to even more places on the internet, he might in fact be 39. Taking this four-year reprieve and running with it like

My copy of A CAT’S TALE by Paul Koudounaris has arrived before your copy of A CAT’S TALE by Paul Koudounaris: a niche brag in 3 tweets My photo of Baba dressed in costume as Chippy, sea cat aboard Ernest Shackleton’s “Endurance,” has arrived before your photo of Baba dressed in costume as Chippy, sea cat aboard Ernest Shackleton’s “Endurance”

Prowling around the empty nighttime suburbs with headphones on, trying to figure out if this tree in someone’s yard is a chestnut (no, chinquapin), I hear a man’s voice across the street behind me: M’AM. M’AM. M’AM!!! I think: am I about to be tackled? I think: does he think I’m a cat burglar? Does he he have a gun? I turn around, take my headphones off slowly.

Ok no just kidding. I am going to auction off JUST ONE of my The Subconcious candles today and donate 100% of money received to Project Corazón, the @lawyers4goodgov fund supporting pro bono legal representation for migrant families at the border. Rules below. The fragrance notes of The Subconscious are: haunting petrichor (wet earth), a zing of ozonic minerals, vetiver, sandalwood, bergamot, and, reprising his role as a symbol of the unfathomable Real, Moby Dick. As in sperm whale ambergris oil.

Tonight’s candle batch is The Subconscious: more than half a cup of Indian petrichor in sandalwood oil, haunting minerals, bergamot, and in honor of a classic metaphor for the elusive and unfathomable Real, uh....ambergris oil I ordered from Nantucket. Shout out to Cap. Ahab. This is simultaneously the most beautiful thing I have ever smelled and a real “Anna oh God what are you even doing with these candles” moment for me. AND NO YOU CANNOT HAVE ONE THEY’RE MY PRECIOUS.

Hi! Do you like distracting yourself from vague horrors you can't control by deep-diving on esoteric Wikipedia horrors you can? If so, here are some lists for you! (If not, mute me for 5 minutes) A list of inventors killed by their own inventions: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_i…

Happy Valentimes, everyone. Shout out to @matt_latimer and nearly 11 years of giving each other courage, counsel, and safety. Romantic love is great! Here are some additional kinds of love I am grateful for today: @matt_latimer 1. PEDESTRIAN
The love you develop for people after seeing them every day for years. Viz: everyone at @rossyoon and Trister, Ross, the occupants of the office where I worked from ‘05-‘19. The way @DaraKaye just has to run in and share everything bizarre that comes into her inbox.

Good morning! I am dying inside at the level of well-intentioned but totally-off opining about seven-figure advances in my feed. Remind me later today to talk about various reasons why you all are wrong about this, although I do love you. PS: editors, while I’m finishing the school run, now is the chance to DM me the anonymous insider opining you’re too shy to share on your own feed 👀👀

An industry conversation that also needs to happen - overlapping with if less urgent than the whiteness issue - is the class issue. I could talk for hours with the obsessed and good-faith among you about the as yet unanalyzed class nuances involved in the topic at hand. To be clear: the race issue is WAY more urgent, as narrative injustice there results in disenfranchisement and danger beyond “mere” shame and shaming. But we need to do some accounting within whiteness as well. Specifically:

I’ve spent much of this week talking w/ agent friends about a specific kind of professional violation: the exciting author who makes a verbal commitment, disappears, and then either signs with s/o else or just poof! Is in PubMark one day w/a surprise deal. (Incoming #pubtip rant) This happens to us all at least once or twice, and honestly? It’s a terrible, terrible feeling. And it feels just as terrible when you’re an experienced star agent and otherwise v. resilient as it does when you’re just beginning and feel like you’ve lost a precious foothold.

I am reading this book by @idler’s Tom Hodgkinson and HEARTILY recommend it for the aspiring nonfiction writers among you, especially those under contract. (No personal connection here, just found it at the library.) #pubtip @idler ::whips out megaphone:: being an author is running a small business. It is running a small business! Treat it like a small business. And read up on what brings the most revenue to small businesses and what doesn’t. Examples of advice I like in this book:

Today's #pubtip: among first-time authors, I think *the* most common source of surprise and disappointment is the book tour or lack thereof. This is where I truly want to kill shows like The Affair and, well, any other popular media depiction of the book publishing experience. Your publisher is *almost certainly not going to pay for a book tour.* Not unless you have a rabid fan base and cult of personality around you already. It doesn't matter how prestigious your publisher is. In most genres, it doesn't even matter how much your advance was. Tour - no

Are you ready for a story that has single-handedly restored my faith in humanity, ending in a shameless plug for this local IT business owner, Imran Moorad of Dotsight Solutions, everybody please hire him? Two weeks ago, I left my laptop on Amtrak on my way back to DC from NYC. I was feeling a little down and philosophical and had one of those trips where you just start blabbedy blabbing about nonsense with your stranger seatmate (s/o @JennyAment)

Here is another #pubtip I find myself giving almost all clients at one point--perhaps something that would be useful to you as well if you're an author/aspiring author as Very Online as I am. It's about retraining your brain for the rigors and anxiety of a book-writing career. It's this: ASAP, you need to get out of the habit of running immediately to the dopamine cash register with every little good idea and bragging point you have. (The agent says wisely as she dispenses valuable advice for free on Twitter for the dopamine and likes.)

Something I like to do while lying next to my son as he falls asleep is go on Wikipedia deep dives about his favorite children’s book authors. Good Lord! Classic children’s book authors are some of the most bananas people that have ever lived! Margaret Wise Brown was a bisexual international glamour queen who died doing a can can kick! (It dislodged a blood clot.)