Thread by @ramkid

This is a simple thread, recounting a shamelessly eavesdropped conversation in a cab. There's no political angle to it. It's about a change that's happening in India. And it's irrespective of whichever goons are in power. And this gives me some hope. +

I hired a cab for a few hours. My cabbie kept getting calls from a persistent Chachi. He asked me if I was okay if he took the call through the sound system. He said it was important. Naturally, being the nice (and extremely curious) guy that I am, I said okay. +

He then proceeded to have a very long and relaxed chat with his Chachi that had no sense of any urgency. With the rusty Bhojpuri harking back to my BHU days, I managed to follow most of the conversation. +

My cabbie was basically pitching a series of ideas at the older lady he was very affectionately talking to. It was Shark Tank Bhojpuri Edition. And Chachi was his Barbara Corcoran. +

Here are some of the ideas he pitched. In telegraphic form.(Who sends telegrams these days? Ok, in twitterised form.) +

Idea 1. Build a big godown. Make a part of it a cold storage. Buy potatoes in large, matlab really large quantities, when they are say 3-5 bucks a kilo. Store them till they can fetch 20 bucks. Sell them. +

Idea 2. Buy rice at low prices. Add 'bhalue' by cleaning, polishing, sorting, some other things my knowledge of the dialect wasn't good enough for, and sell through the large markets in Banaras. +

Idea 3. Use part of the farm land to build a large tent, with comfortable seating. Organise Ramayan/Mahabharat pravachans there (Not sure if it was to be a ticketed event). 'Bhideo' record and create content. +

Idea 4. (Using the godown was a pet theme). Stock all kinds of agricultural produce. Invest in 3/4 bheelers and supply directly to people's homes. +

Idea 5. Get 'Mahes-wa' to run a farming equipment rental business from the now famous godown. The people who come for Pravachan will notice the availability of this service too. +

Idea 6. Buy even better cars (this one was an SUV) in Mumbai. Get people to drive them, while he himself shuttled back and forth between Jaunpur and Mumbai, managing his empire. +

His general principle was to do things at scale. Without 'compromije'. And to use some of their own farm land to do other agri-related bijness. +

Chachi was actively participating in all of this. 'No compromije' was actually her phrase. I was taken up by the intriguing business-planning of this unlikely duo. After the call finally got over, the somewhat sheepish cabbie apologised to me. +

He said the lady was his 'sasuma' to be. And he had to stay in her good books. Why 'Chachi', I asked. He said he knew her from childhood, and she was always Chachi. He said he would find it difficult to call her Mummy.after marriage, even though 'wife ki Mummy, meri Mummy'. +

We went on to talk about kheti, the lockdown, and Banaras. He said that this year they've broken all records in terms of produce. He himself had gone back to the village, like countless others, during the lockdown, and worked insanely hard in the farms. +

He then confessed that he realised for the first time how hard farmers work to put food in our plates. His words, not mine. He was heartbroken that city folks waste so much food. That they didn't understand its bhalue. +

I had a lot more to chat with him about, but I reached my destination. If I had tons of money, and if I were on a Shark Tank panel, and he pitched his ideas at me, I would have happily invested. But something tells me he'll find a way. True bhalue has a knack of surfacing.
ANTHE