Lots of kind words from recidivist entrants to the Great #Draw Challenges testifying at how these damn things have stopped you all going completely barking mad over the past 6 months. Glad to have been of service, but also conscious of various things, which I shall now adumbrate
First, do we try and ratchet the whole thing up a notch, get proper sponsorship & serious money prizes run by a huge Media conglomorate with a vast back office to process all the drawings with something approaching rigour & good practice, or do we stick with the current...
...half-arsed approach of me eventrually getting round to choosing what I like best and then trying to remember to post an offloaded old book to the winner? Well?
More immediately, I notice that there's another 3 bloody weeks to run on the Ghastly #DrawBorisJohnson challenge, and tho I expect an upturn in entries from the wastes of the North once Rishi nails you into your hovels, that's too much time in idle hands. So, running concurrently
...and then up to US Election Day on whenever it is, as there's a chance this could be your last chance, I'm hereby official launching the GodAwfully Gutchurning Gonadtightening #DrawDonaldTrump Challenge! Early and often, please, as always - and spread the news!

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More from @MartinRowson

15 Oct
And here's Today's #PlagueSong. Altogether now...

Team Song

You put your tender in!
You drive your rivals out!
You send in your consultants
When the money’s thrown about!
You put the Hokey-Covid
In your Turnover
That’s what it’s all about!
Whooooaaaaaaa! Hokey-hokey-Covid!
Wheeeeeeeeeeee! Hokey-hokey-Covid!
Phwaaaoooooor! Hokey-hokey-Covid!
Knees bent
Boots filled
Ra-ra-ra!
You drive the numbers up!
You keep the proles locked down!
Send in more consultants
Who can go to town
Getting the Hokey-Covid
In our Turnover
That’s what it’s all about!
Read 6 tweets
14 Oct
Right, lots of lovely #DrawBorisJohnson Challenge entries still coming - keep em coming til Hallowe'en! Also being flooded with #DrawDonaldTrump Challenge entries - that's open til 3rd November. Happy to keep you busy. And here's some of the ways I've drawn @realDonaldTrump ImageImageImageImage
ImageImageImageImage
And that lot was just 2016, leading up to his election & its immediate aftermath. Now we get to the real filth ImageImageImageImage
Read 15 tweets
18 Sep
Poetry Korner:

Regressional (after Kipling)

God of Our Fathers, down in Hell,
God of Thunder, Trees and Drums,
There’s still so much stuff left to sell,
So many contracts for our chums -
Lord God of Lies, fill up our cup:
There’s still so much left to fuck up!
Some crusties in a care home died;
The weirdos and the misfits swarm;
A mediocre place man lied
Because that kind of thing’s the norm -
Lord God of Death, please let us sup!
There’s still so much left to fuck up!
For thee we shrug off all disgrace,
Responsibility all ducked,
And give thee, Lord, this Track & Trace
That Dido Queen of Carnage fucked -
Lord God, we’ll sacrifice a pup!
There’s so much left still to fuck up!
Read 5 tweets
15 Sep
Poetry Korner: The Rule of Law

“Boris” has fucked The Rule of Law!
And what’s in there not to adore?
Now we can batter down his door
And piss upon his parquet floor,
Steal everything he’s got, and more,
Then sock the fucker on the jaw
And he can’t even call The Law!
And twats straight out of Evelyn Waugh
Survey vast tracts of fen and moor
Their family’s owned since days of yore
And every fat complacent boor
Assumes they’ll own it evermore -
But not without The Rule of Law!
For “libertarians” ignore
That mutual aid’s required before
You smash the state and ditch the law.
They think that they can simply whore
After loot and furthermore,
Unbound by rules that they deplore,
They can pillage even more
And stash the swag safely offshore!
Read 6 tweets
8 Jun
Each time Churchill's statue is "vandalised" (I did Time Out cartoons about it several times in 1990s) it's worth remembering that Churchill himsefl was nicked, drunk, for vandalising the statue of Charles I in Trafalfar Square on, I believe, Mafeking Night. Still, once they've..
...renamed the country "Churchill" and even if you say his name (let alone put him in a cartoon) the Spectator mob of fogey fascists send out death squads, we'll no longer be able to try to wrangle the fact that while helping to win WW2 he was, at the same time, doing nothing...
...to stop million sof Bengalis from starving to death. He hated Hindusim with a rare passion, but rather admired Muslims, probably because they mostly stayed "loyal" during the Indian Mutiny (sic). Then again, only seeing things in black and white, without the grey nuances...
Read 4 tweets
24 May
Interesting psychology in No 10’s reckless defence of Mr Jizz, where most of the cabinet are having their remaining credibility sandblasted to dust by being forced publicly to declare their live for Big Cunty. It’s not just indicative of how “Boris” gets his kicks: it’s the
...*getting away* with the lie (lied to give him time to escape from the fall out from the previous lie) wherein lies the real high, the ecstatic buzz that led him to become a Soviet sleeper agent in the first place.
But there’s more, & even creepier stuff going on. Spunky is a genuinely vile arsehole, arrogant, contemptuous of others & a sneering bully. The true horror is how the pitiful condition of the Tory Party means the cabinet have all the marks of text book abuse victims, hopelessly..
Read 9 tweets

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