Stop telling Domestic Violence victims and survivors what to do. We face judgement for calling the police or for not calling the police. We face judgement for leaving and for staying. Escaping abuse is one of the hardest things to do and how someone handles it is very personal
3 women die every day from domestic violence. Statistically, victims are in the most danger when they are in the process of leaving their abuser or have just left. So many people think that calling the police solves the issue but that simply isn’t the case.
Some studies show that about 40% of police officers are DV offenders themselves. And often the victim can be arrested or brought in as well when calling for help. This is all before dealing with a court system that often retraumatizes survivors.
On the other hand, when you are scared for your life- what are you supposed to do? You need medical attention, your children aren’t safe, you are in fight or flight mode, etc. Some people feel safe calling the police. It’s a calculated risk.
That being said, every instance of escaping abuse is different and I am not here to judge how someone has to survive. We put victims and survivors in pretty much an impossible position.
No one should tell DV victims that their way of survival is “wrong” because that is just too much guilt to carry. Instead we need to focus on ways to support survivors and new systems to protect them and prevent abuse from happening #DomesticViolenceAwarenessMonth
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