Thread by @karmasjanitor

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Hello Dave, this is Kyle Snidker in Remsen, I am the DeKalb sales rep for eastern Plymouth and northeast Woodbury County. I have been trying to get a meeting with your dad, hoping you could help out.

Kyle

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So how bad do you want this meeting? I mean my dad's a pretty busy guy. Maybe you can explain what it's about, and what's in it for me.

from:[e-mail]
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I was hoping to show your dad some yield result brochures for our exciting new VT Double PRO® corn hybrids before Spring planting season. If you can make it happen I guess I could give you a couple hats.

from:[e-mail]
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Cut the hat shit Kyle, I've got like 12 of them already. If you really want this meeting to happen I better be also getting a deluxe DeKalb windbreaker and a set of those steak knives.

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Hi Dave, I talked to my regional sales manager and we can make the steak knives and windbreaker happen, but right now we're all out of the green windbreakers. We can get you yellow right now, or green in 2-3 weeks.

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You're trying my patience, Kyle. If you want this thing to happen you'd better get on the phone with the DeKalb guys in Sioux Center and find me a green windbreaker, and it better fucking be nylon fleece lined.

rom:[e-mail]
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Hi Dave, it took some doing, but we located a green XL windbreaker at the DeKalb warehouse in Sheldon. It will be on its way to you tomorrow, along with the steak knives. Let me know when your Dad is available.

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That's more like it Kyle. Before getting to meeting details, let's discuss what kind of beer I will be getting out of this. I highly recommend a MINIMUM two 12 packs of Natty Light as a token of your gratitude.