Twinks Profile picture
16 Oct, 19 tweets, 3 min read
So the twins moved out to uni.
They were gone for 4 days then restrictions tightened, no boyfriends, talk of locking them in for self isolation.
So after paying 8k in rent, they rushed home with the boyfriends and now we all live here in my house.
Placement is pushed back a month so their student Nurse uniforms are hanging up. Uni consists of a couple of zooms a week. Everytime they consider going back, someone in their student halls is positive or self isolating.
Ellie just had two weeks self isolating and is now off school for two weeks.
I eat sleep breathe covid, swabbing, PPE for 68 hrs a week.
There are only about 16 minutes in any 24hr period that someone is not cooking something or having a shower/ bath.
I have 18 towels.
Had to dry myself with a face cloth this morning.
Bread. We are doing 7 loaves a week and mayo?? How much mayo do teenagers eat?
And trainers! Husband size 12, boyfriends size 12, just 40 fucking canoes just randomly placed round my house
I need to get this out now I’ve started
And chicken! Everything they eat is made of chicken.
I looked at my office floor today and thought ‘sleeping bag on that and it’d be lovely and quiet’
And they kind of haven’t got all their life skills yet so you have to ‘help’
No... chips on the top and your processed chicken abomination on the middle shelf.
Warm the oven up first!
No, you haven’t got time to watch something on Netflix whilst it cooks
Why the fuck is it so smoky in here? Ohhh you switched the oven on with my good frying pans inside again and it’s melting the handle
No, Matthew. If toast is stuck, we unplug the toaster and get it out gently. We do not ram a knife in.
Yes I no you’ve never blown one up before, but still.
So, when we do washing we then need to take it out again or it smells damp.

*all nod*

Gets home to find basket of wet washing in front of washer because my instruction was not specific enough.
Can we wash trainers in it?

Well, yes. But it’s only a 9kg drum so you’ll only get one of those massive bastards in at a time
I own around 18 mugs, 12 glasses, 20 big spoons, 20 teaspoons.

My last coffee was in a tiny easter egg mug and I had to stir it with a knife.

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh

Keep Current with Twinks

Twinks Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!


Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!