Thread by @MacSmiff

One thing I love doing at work is making people admit that they don't know how to do something, and then forcing them (thru awkward silence and faux aloofness) to ask for help...

... only to tell them that I don't know either and to ask someone else.

Men be mad.

#corporateshit

And I'm the only Black male at my job so you know which "men" I'm talking about.

For maximum effect, first I like to cut the request of "I need somebody to do X" down with "You don't know how to do X?"

This catches the coworker off-guard and creates unnecessary defensiveness.

Once the coworker is properly perked, verify that they have all the tools required to do the work themself, then force them to self identify their lack of training as the issue.

I call this "stewing" because this is where you really get the flavor. Best if others are watching.

But don't stop there. That's just the broth.

Use the "pillow of silence" after they are they lack training. Let them again suggest that you help them.

THAT'S when you suggest they just need to be trained so they can do it themself.

When, and only when, they've agreed that they need training "if that's what will get you to help", THAT'S when you hit them with the news that you're not the expert they needed in the first place.

You're welcome. I can't help you if you get fired.

Make sure to smile.

... after they *admit they lack training....

Dammit.

.... and yes, I approach every conversation with a gameplan because I'm an Aquarius and yes you have probably been a part of one of my coping mechanisms at some point.

Sorry not sorry. Now you know.

One day I'll write an essay on how a debilitating stutter made me this way.

One day...