Thread by @polotek

A few weeks, and even a few months, is *not* enough time to recover from serious work-related burnout. Yes you can recover. But in my experience it takes longer. And we all know that being out of work for an extended period is not feasible for most people.

https://twitter.com/kyliestew/status/1317130405745549312

I do want to offer a different perspective though. In my case at least, what I decided was to get a less stressful job. Burnout is one of the main reasons I stepped back from management and went back to an individual contributor role. That was 18 months ago.

I want to fully acknowledge the privilege and good fortune that I have to be able to make that decision. I have strong prospects, my skills as an engineer had not atrophied very much. And in my industry, I didn’t make much less money than I did before. In fact I make more now.

That decision saved my marriage and probably my life. There’s a lot behind it that is hard to get into. But I was not in a good place. When I think about where I was 18 months ago and today, it’s like night and day. A couple months off wouldn’t have helped.

I share this in order to say a couple of things. 1) Burnout is real. It is not a personal failing. It is a real mental and physical condition. Take it seriously. At some point I had to accept that had not been at 100% since my daughter was born almost than 5 years ago.

That is not an exaggeration. The first year of being new parents was super hard for us. I was working at a fast-paced startup as a critical employee and leader. Aniyia also founded a startup. We weren’t sleeping. It was bad.

Even when I left that place, which was toxic for me, I didn’t slow down. I took another high stress role. I failed at that job because I was not showing up and doing the work I’m truly capable of. Leaving that job was when I accepted that it wasn’t going to get better on it’s own

So I made the tough decision to stop trying to take over the world. For a little while at least. I could do good work and have impact, but the weight of the world wasn’t on my shoulders. It has allowed me to recover and to show up for my family the way they needed.

I feel better than I have in years. My marriage is stronger than it has ever been. I’m able to take on new challenges. None of that would be true if I had tried to keep putting bandaids on a bullet. Please find ways to manage your burnout. It is possible, but not without change.

I almost forgot my second thing. 2) I started this thread to say that you should consider whether it’s work generally that’s burning you out, or something else. It could be the particular work you do, or the company. It could be a tendency to overwork, bad sleeping habits, etc.

One of the reasons that take time off doesn’t fix burnout is that often people don’t do anything to treat the condition. You just kind of veg out and enjoy not working. I was still stressed about other things (including now being out of work). Still not sleeping.

If you then go right back into a high stress work environment with long hours, it will re-trigger the burnout state instantly. You haven’t “recovered” at all. You have to change some significant things, and spend significant time in order to heal. That is the main thing to accept

Some things I have done during this 18 month period:
- Start regular therapy
- Set strict boundaries on work hours
- Actively reduce other stressors in my life
- Work on my poor sleeping habits (still a work in progress)
- Spend time healing and repairing important relationships