thinking about how one of the ways growing up & living with delayed sleep phase disorder is, nearly all of my memories of mornings and things happening in mornings have been under fairly extreme sleep deprivation
and it's weirdly bittersweet. it's one of the first ways I learned to experiment with altering my consciousness.

but it fucks you up. & everyone demands it from you! think about what it's like when your family, friends, workplace, constantly pressure you to function impaired.
staying up all night can worsen non-24 sleep rhythms, but guess what's the only reliable way for me to be standing up at 8 am?

job interview, you say? congratulations you are semi delirious good luck 🤪
but it's more pernicious than that, and weirder, because these kinds of sleep rhythms are extra common in ADHD and autism, where there's often executive dysfunction; and the effect of acute sleep deprivation can be disinhibiting
so, if you experience excessive inhibition, the first experiences of the sleep-dep drug you are effectively being drugged with by your family and school are exciting and productive! kinda feels weird & bad but you can *do* stuff! you could function like this most days, right?
WRONG. THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS WHERE YOU GET CHRONIC PAIN FROM. Acute sleep dep is emergency mode; chronic sleep dep is when you deplete the reserves you were using. You can no longer heal your joints, fight off viruses, or digest your lunch.
Oh, plus all the stuff that happens if you are loopy and spacey and having weird exhaustion face all the time on the job. Which it turns out is not great for job retention & advancement.

It's a bait and switch. You feel competent for a short while, then everything gives out.
And sleep deprivation *is* normalized, so you don't understand, at first, what it can do to you. That, unmedicated, it's like driving drunk. That when other people come in yawning because they got 6 hours, and you got 2, your experience is fundamentally, materially different.
(Is it harder to find work if you tell them upfront you can't work mornings and avoid places that try to make you? Yes.

Is it easier to stay employed and in the good graces of the people around you once you have a job, if you do that? Also yes!)
Learning all of this has been de-gaslighting myself.

Now I feel like I have the beginnings of a much healthier relationship with sleep deprivation. I still have to use it sometimes, for a doctor appointment or important event, but I refuse to constantly wreck my body anymore.

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More from @outliersgeorg

17 Oct
remembering when Tumblr started censoring the existence of certain search tags so they wouldn't autosuggest themselves but misspellings of them were not de-indexed so if you started typing "self" it would helpfully suggest "self ham"
in general, replacing "harm" with "ham" in sentences and phrases generates a funny result. do no ham. hamful behavior. ham to minors
Read 4 tweets
17 Oct
thinking, today, sidelong to a couple of conversations, about how sometimes negative ethnic stereotypes just boil down to "they act like they're at war with us," when in fact, the people in question ARE being warred on, frequently without it being reported that way
thinking about the time a friend of mine, who was Romani, found a news article about Romani people stripping the buildings they lived in for parts, and wished she could find the missing pieces of the story - it was cast in a disparaging light but must have been from desperation.
like, it's possible they had been forced to live there, or systematically denied access to resources other than the buildings they lived in, or both, or something else entirely - living under threat inherently comes with different incentives, different motivations, for everyone.
Read 4 tweets
16 Oct
This is an interesting question, but I'm gonna springboard off it to ask one I find even more interesting:

Whose work have you approached/engaged with/found pleasure or meaning in, while already fully aware that they were a shitty person?
I have a few answers to this but the one I've been thinking about this week is Peter Christopherson of Coil.

Between his transphobic diss track on Genesis P-Orridge and his extremely questionable photography with minors it seems he was far from good. But his music is beautiful.
It is in some ways easier having discovered his later music knowing he's no longer alive to benefit from it.
Read 4 tweets
24 May
As a society we don't talk NEARLY enough about the way a toxic job environment can mess with your head 24/7 just like an abusive relationship can.

Kids absolutely NEED to hear warnings about this before they're old enough to work, and adults need frequent reminders.
The values our society applies to work were formed around the expectation of a two-way loyalty bond between employer and employee - that if you gave years of your life to a company, you could expect a good standard of living through life and retirement.

This is a fake lie.
It used to be a SOMEWHAT romanticized myth - reality wasn't always that ideal, but still many of these kinds of secure jobs were available.

So boomers often don't comprehend that later generations have been conditioned to accept abuse and disposability from the start.
Read 17 tweets
12 Mar
#COVID19 and zinc: a thread

1) Oral-dissolving zinc supplementation can block replication of upper respiratory viruses. The key point is keeping a high concentration of zinc in your throat area as much as possible - suck on lozenges or tablet fragments all day.
2) This works for colds, but it's a hassle. People don't want to bother with tasting zinc all day starting at the first sign of a sniffle in order to have a milder and shorter cold. But for a more serious virus, that can make a big difference.…
3) With oral dissolution, you're taking a mildly toxic dose of zinc & may experience stomach discomfort. OK tradeoff if you ask me.

Intranasal preparations are also effective but can potentially fuck up your sense of smell for life. We flew too close to the Sun on that one.
Read 6 tweets

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