With COVID spiking, our president is on a run of unmasked rallies; already overpoliced, our cities are responding to a rash of shootings with... more cops. More than ever, the US is like a couple that tries to solve incessant fighting by getting married. So let's read Vows!
Look, I do not want to underestimate to weight of everyone's lived experience, but 210,000 people dead from a respiratory illness might win here. 
OK! Is this how the Times says that several Fs went down?
I am reading all of these words, yes, but I am not understanding ANY of these words.
I mean, "money camp"?
Hello from Hartford, where the median HOUSEHOLD income is $34,388 per year.
Shit like this runs in a national newspaper and yet we do not burn everything down.
I would bet folding money that this wedding would not meet my definition of "budget conscious."
Alexa, define "falling up."
Siri, generate a checklist of bad omens for a marriage.
And yet, they got married.
Sure. Ok.
Woo, Grey Lady!
This is the taking-your-shoes-off-at-the-airport-metal-detector of public health precautions.
Who?
(Got carsick and had to take a break. I'll pick this up later.)
OK. All better...
Am I... supposed to know who this is?
No game recognize no game.
Dude, New Orleans is lousy with brass bands. You shoulda just found another.
Are there just so many former "Survivor" contestants that the odds are that they'll pop up in Vows, or is this a thing, like people from Greenwich?
What
Is this a thing I should have known about? Everything is weird.
If you were wondering why she expected to receive a horse - a thing I have never expected in my life - you will not find out.
I am not at all sure this is correct.
Nope nope nope. Do not want.
Look, I'm sorry, defense lawyers. You just can't love prosecutors. The heart wants what it wants and all that, but tell your heart to do better. This shit is not a game.
No. One of you is the devil's advocate. The other represents the accused.
And on that terrible note, I conclude. Here's an important video, which you should listen to with the sound on:
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