Thread:

You need us.

You complain about liberal Hollywood every day. You call us "Commiefornia" and talk about how we're ruining America. But you need us.

You tell us that we should get a real job while you steal your cousin's Netflix password to watch us doing our real jobs.
You tell us our opinions don't matter and then buy your children our posters. You tell us that if we don't like it here, we can leave while you're unable to leave your couch because you're glued to watching us.
You try to cancel arts programs at schools and then desperately need art to get you through a pandemic. We are the only thing that has kept you sane for seven months, and you spend every day telling us we're worthless.
The musicians, the actors, the writers, the comedians, and the athletes you watch are embarrassed by your politics. Do you tell your child that the person they are lip-syncing to on TikTok would recoil if they heard your opinions?
You tell us to support the troops with stickers and magnets made in China, while we're the ones traveling to bases actually supporting them. You demand your football players to stand during the paid sponsorship for the military that you're too cowardly to serve in.
You binge the Handmaid's Tale without realizing that the tale is cautionary as to what can happen if you're left in charge. You wait in line to see the new X-Men movie without understanding that the main storyline of X-Men is inclusion.
You sing along with "American Idiot" having no idea it was written about you. You tell us that there's no racism in America while listening to rap songs about racism.

You hate us. But you need us.
What would you have without us? Saturday Night Live with just Dennis Miller and Victoria Jackson? Ted Nugent, Scott Baio, Dean Cain, James Woods, Kirstie Alley, Jon Voight, Kid Rock, and Gary Busey?
None of them were cancelled for supporting Trump because none of them were working even before they supported Trump. Your celebrities haven't been relevant in decades because your opinions haven't been relevant in decades.
You share memes instead of writing your own because you don't know what your opinion is until someone tells it to you. If you were creative, you'd know terms like "Commiefornia" are hack and that your red hats were designed by someone who doesn't know how to turn on a computer.
Entertainers are naturally progressive because to be an entertainer you have to understand the human condition. And you can't understand the human condition without understanding how important progress is.
So go to your rallies and wear your hats and tell us how bad for our country you think we are while your life revolves around us.

Because you need us. And you know it.
---Fin---

Vote blue.

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More from @SteveHofstetter

18 Oct
Now, the 16 states with the most COVID cases per capita ALL voted red in the 2016 election. The bottom 5 ALL voted blue. But that's probably just a coincidence.

Like when I'm hungry and I eat a sandwich and then I'm not hungry anymore. What a coincidence!
I want to be clear what this tweet means. This is not about governors & policy. This is about who people choose to act. States with the highest % of people who listen to Donald Trump are also the states with the highest % of COVID cases.

This is not millions of coincidences.
This is the hallmark of a Trump supporter. The unwillingness to see past their own needs for the needs of the greater good. The stubborn "WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEE?!!!!" that is making the country sick.

The hallmark of a Trump supporter is selfishness.
Read 4 tweets
16 Oct
Donald Trump just nicknamed himself "Big T". What do you think the T actually stands for?
I had no idea just how fun this game would be. I love you folks.
Glad y'all are having fun playing my silly game.

Make sure to get your "Hope Is Contagious" shirt: teespring.com/HopeisContagio…

100% of proceeds go to helping democratic candidates flip close races. Image
Read 4 tweets
1 Sep
Donald Trump just casually defended Kyle Rittenhouse, a white supremacist who murdered two people.

If you still support him, you are supporting THAT. THAT is who you are.

Please, please, please don't be that.
To those saying "BUT HE'S NOT A WHITE SUPREMACIST!"

Cool. Lets pretend he's not.

He is still a murderer. You cool with that part? Cool with the president condoning murder?

That's who you are. Just know that on the inside. You are fine with murder.
Since it seems people need clarification, 1st, if you roll with white supremacists, you are one. If you don't find something wrong with people around you being white supremacists, you are one. If you don't actively try to combat the white supremacists around you, you are one.
Read 10 tweets
26 Mar
Dear Rep. Matt Gaetz,

Why is Howard University in the relief bill? Great question!

Howard University's hospital is a COVID-19 treatment facility. It is within walking distance from your office.

Hope this helps, you dumb fuck.
Well, this is getting more attention than the time Matt Gaetz got arrested for drunk driving. Or the time Matt Gaetz invited a Holocaust denier to the State of the Union. Or the time Matt Gaetz threatened a federal witness. Or the time Matt Gaetz mocked people dying from COVID-19
If you enjoy comedy and tweets like this, feel free to donate to the Martin Foundation, which gives money to out of work performers. ComedyGrant.com

Or to @PhilEhr, who is running against Matt Gaetz in November.
Read 4 tweets

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