Thread by @shellakeypookey

Pre-set in the wardrobe while the audience is seated.
The rustle of coats and coughs.
Listening to the front row was like being at my own wake
"Oh, she's ALWAYS been a divil, she got me thrun out of the school choir!"
This is the face of fear as I try to remember the opening line

It's "Jazus Siobhàn I've a jaw on me like a shovel and the woman who knew the recipe for ice must have died"
My head says jazussiobhanjazussiobhanjazussiobhan endlessly like a mantra. The house lights go down. The coughing stops. The music cue. My stomach turns. Adrenaline rush.

I think I'm having a hypo. Christ, I can hear the sea roaring in my ears. Karen Dalton is wailing like a feral child, singing - Something on your mind - "so you turned all your days into nighttime" Muscle memory on nighttime, touch Siobhan's photo and push open the door smiling.

I sashay in a maxi dress and platform boots to centre stage under the bank of lights and begin to build the Jenga Tower of words that is the 90 minutes (sans interval) of #TheScourge which culminates in the funeral monologue of my Mother who was buried on Groundhog Day
Full House

I'd go to see some outrageous bi - polar asthmatic arthritic diabetic broad perform her play adapted from a self published memoir any day of the week. I'd be flabbergasted at the cojones of her as I was just some random maniac with a neck beard and a chocolate stained cardigan.

That's why they call it Acting I suppose. Act as if. Act as if you're on it like a bonnet. Act as if you got this. This heartstopping moment. This moment in time. "Life is a series of moments strung together like beads" Scene 7 of The Scourge. Imogen Heap singing about petunias.

Energy goes where thought flows
Words are powerful.
How we use them.
How we talk to ourselves. What we perceive to be reality in a sea of information. How we react to circumstances shapes us more than we can ever know
I offer these words on the eve of another step in the journey

You are much braver and more beautiful than you could ever imagine. In times of stress or anxiety focus on your breathing. Be still and present in each moment. Stop reacting. Witness. Breathe. Repeat. Let go of your routine. Step out of your own way. Allow life to unfold, easily.

@threadreaderapp please unroll 💚