I knew the minute I found a battered doll on a hairpin bend outside Carlow town she'd be the star of "The Scourge"

She stole the show every night
& finished the Irish run in @VisualCarlow

She flew @AerLingus
DUB - #JFK in a handbag

"A handbag?" 😏

& had her own ASM in NYC My sister thought I had lost my damn mind.

#BrendanBehan100
1. My cousin Richie Dooley served time for Land Agitation in Mountjoy Gaol
He was working the farm of an arrested man so it couldn't be siezed
In Jail he met the Quare Fella, because they shared a landing with the IRA
At night the RA would march to the cells 2. in military fashion and Brendan would wink at Richie and turn off the lights when they were walking by when the guard was checking. Then turn them back on so the men could read. As a child I sat on a wall in Killeshin & listened to Richie Dooley talk about Brendan.
The view -

#OnThisDay 2020
1.A woman from Norn Iron asked a woman who'd survived 2 months onstage in #NYC on bananas, cold slices & edibles up for the dinner in an apartment complex
The woman dyed her hair blue 5 minutes after she got off the plane & drew the gifts
We ignored adages about 2. Grape & Grains & after 2 glasses of red went at the whiskey. The woman from Norn Iron met the Baldy Lad at my gig. They were seated beside each other in a red velvet tent. He put down a pan of steak and onions that would feed a communion class. Which was brilliant because of

I'm singing "Jesus take the wheel" like an earworm because I put Carrie Underwood singing it on my Facebook story
I'd been trying to get into my "office" to get a photo of what I rescued from a Convent
But I was roundly denied access by a Monstera Deliciouso & a huge guitar 🎸 One was bought for me by a man who heard me singing

I can't wait to see what you create! - he cried optimistically
I called her Jean Harlow because she was blonde
I can't play the guitar
Or lift it
When I hauled it over to my Da's gaff traffic was a hootin & a hollerin
As per😏

Thread
It's not 5 past 11
I took this photo today at 1.47pm
It reminds me of a man named Joe

In 1964 I was waiting to be born & 18 year old Joe Kinsella was walking up School Street to his new job as Assistant Sacriston in Rowe Street Church
It has a twin in Bride Street
(1858)

I can't keep up with my 91 year old Da Tom
Every time I call over he's out
We're in an ongoing battle over the @Wrangler jeans I bought him for his 91st
I've cut the tags off, burnt the receipt & draped them over his armchair
now we wait
I presume this is me, drawn after a row 😏 These are not the @Wrangler s
He found them in the hot press during lock down
God only knows when they were bought
Born in 1930 he wore a shirt & tie and a suit every day for his entire life.
#Jeans at 91
💙🇨🇮🙏😏

1. I was 15 years old when I bought this paper.
Because it had Julian Lennon on the front talking about John.
A month after his death in New York. 2. I only turned 16 in October.

1. Here's my 90yo Da Tom, on the squeezebox of a Saturday evening - wondering when he'll get his #vaccine
I just got him peg paste and rosin to tune up his fiddles to keep him busy
And brought fish & chips
Then found 9 accordions in a press looking for biscuits
9
I know, right? 2. I was stunned
It also explains why he built the press in the first place
With random pieces of wood he has finagled from gatchin with lads on building sites & from a quiet #Leitrim man who is his son in law
"Christ he's gone with the new lengths - he sighs
"Fuck it anyway"

My Da Tom (90) is coping with #Lockdown3 by consuming ribs & cabbage, marmalade & soda bread, fancy cakes & tay, drawing, painting, playing his fiddle, reading papers, watching snooker, scrolling through Facebook & Insta, playing with dogs & strong whiskey every night.
#Legend Here is his fridge.
The dude with the fag is called "Lucas Batteries"
He has been drawing him for his whole life.
On school copy books, hotel napkins, and the backs of envelopes.
And on one memorable occasion with a blue marker on a glass door.
"I always give him a #smoke!"
✒️

@KathyBurke So I hear rustling in the press under the sink.
And say to Val - there's that mouse.
I bang hard on the door and open it. I gingerly extract the Hunky Dorys (assorted) from where I've hidden them on my sedated self. Christ, I announce. The 2 bags of cheese and onion are empty! 🧀 @KathyBurke 2. And Val (Professor Clouseau) announces it could be a fault in the factory & bag wasn't filled
Ahem
Well, how do you explain this then? & present the arse of a Ryan's Sliced pan from the cooker I use as a shelf
The corner is gone and there are 2 tiny circles of bread missing.

Pre-set in the wardrobe while the audience is seated.
The rustle of coats and coughs.
Listening to the front row was like being at my own wake
"Oh, she's ALWAYS been a divil, she got me thrun out of the school choir!"
This is the face of fear as I try to remember the opening line It's "Jazus Siobhàn I've a jaw on me like a shovel and the woman who knew the recipe for ice must have died"
My head says jazussiobhanjazussiobhanjazussiobhan endlessly like a mantra. The house lights go down. The coughing stops. The music cue. My stomach turns. Adrenaline rush.

Some child with a hipster beard moved into the terrace of houses behind me. He has a girl with him. They are completely impervious to the idea of shared space. He wasn't in a wet day when he arrived at my door to ask me to desist feeding birds His beard was visible above the mask I wondered why throwing bread to a few starving thrushes concerned this lad I have tights older than. I explained it was installed in my muscle memory and to listen to my podcast if he didn't believe me. I was polite and friendly as befits a menopausal dowager with purple hair.

1. First they were double Dutch. Then I got into the rabbit warren of his head. Then I was actually #addicted #DerekCrozier compiled #Crosaire for 67 years. I stopped doing it the day his last one printed. Tonight I found an envelope in the Attic. rte.ie/archives/2018/… 2. I might mention it took hours of hauling bags, bedlinen, dolls & a succession of Mannequins heads & wigs up a tiny flight of attic steps with murderous beams on bad knees. Working on the mantra "do it like you mean it" I tipped out a handbag I have not seen for a decade and

1. Ten years ago I created the #Shellbombelle character to say outrageous things on a public forum. I was an obese shut in who was distraught from daily visits to a hospital where my Mother Siobhan's Alzheimers had progressed to admission following a TIA at the kitchen table. - 2. We thought she'd be home that afternoon as she recovered almost immediately, spoke, had no facial abnormality, was walking and ate a meal using cutlery. It was advised to admit her for one night for obsv. I brought up an overnight bag with her Vera Wang pyjamas(a gift) and her