Are they really though? The bullies. It can be shouting, making fun of you or talking behind your back. Don't attack back. Disarm them by remaining calm and avoid sarcasm. “Are you done? Can we move on now?”.
2. The “Gaslighting” abuser
They enjoy making you think you’re crazy.
The problem is you, not them. They manipulate to question your beliefs/thoughts & everything around you. They are “in charge”. Disarm them by focusing on feelings; avoid right or wrong. Don’t doubt yourself.
3. The “Narcissist” personage
They care about themselves; no one else.
These people require recognition. They feel entitled & manipulate others to get what they want. Disarm them with admiration. Don't let them provoke you, don’t criticise. If you battle them, use compliments.
4. The “Passive Aggressive” guy
They say something, yet they mean the opposite.
Procrastinators, stubborn, inefficient or "forgetting" appointments. Disarm them with a two-way conversation, feedback & set limits. Never discuss past incidents. Avoid a battle or they will win.
5. The “Hypocrite” character
They judge you, then they do that same thing.
They are unaware of their actions. Disarm them by recognising it annoys you & stay calm. If you choose to confront, use positive words. And “I” instead of “you”. Prepare yourself for emotional reactions.
6. The “Lying” machine
They sometimes even believe their own lies.
It can be tricky. Do you call them out? Ask for explanations? Or just accept it? Disarm them with unexpected questions. Avoid yes/no answers. Ask the same questions in different ways. Maintain deep eye contact.
7. The “Egocentric” fellow
They only think of themselves; selfish.
These people make decisions on their own and can seem distant. Disarm them by accepting the situation. Don’t do favours for them or give attention. They need reminding that the world doesn’t revolve around them.
8. The “Victim” type
They always act innocent, “It’s not my fault”.
You are always in blame, not them. Disarm them by stating their behaviours with empathy. Highlight their ongoing complaints & lack of ownership. Offer your help to find solutions while setting boundaries.
9. The “Presumptuous” player
They don’t have limits; often cross the inappropriate.
They think you will be OK with everything. They aren’t “kind/nice”. Disarm them by using “we”. “We all deserve it/respect”. Don’t go into a battle. Stay firm, and don’t let them drag you down.
10. The “Delusional” soul
They talk without knowing if it's true.
Living in paranoia. False accusations and fear. Don't argue with this type. Disarm them by building trust, make them feel safe. That you will not hurt them. Work to reduce their anxiety and insecurity.
11. The “Pettiness” individual
They get angry or bothered with anything.
All little things disturb them, they like revenge. Disarm them by acknowledging that it's not personal. Don’t let them intimidate. Accept fault, agree to disagree & even respond with humour. Pop a joke.
12. The “Jealous” personality
You have something they lack.
Disarm them by increasing their self-esteem. What is causing this feeling and sensation? Share your insecurities with them. They need to accept their emotions; always stay calm and vulnerable. Let them talk it out.
Some people are unaware of their negative impact.
And some enjoy satisfaction from creating chaos.
Prepare yourself to avoid undeserved stress.
Thank you for reading.
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You become a “Manager” or you gain “Followers” online. Both a sign of entitlement. Yet, most get so concerned on their status that they forget about the mission. “Leadership is a choice, not a rank” – Simon Sinek. Make others feel good, feel safe.
2. Nothing is “URGENT”
“This is urgent”. An overused statement that loses its credibility. There is a culture of unnecessary stress, burnout and low-quality work. Unless you work in healthcare, it’s not urgent. Get your priorities in order; differentiate urgent vs. important.
Avoid eye contact? They're shy, hiding something or feeling intimidated. Find out. Looking bottom right? Reflecting their feelings. Bottom left (disagreement), top right (lie/visualising), top left (remembering). Study eyes; know their thinking.
2. Body distance defines openness
They lean away? Negative response. Lean back too. Leaning in: You got their attention. Respect distance, or their first impression won’t be positive. “7% is what you say, 38% is how you say it and 55% is nonverbal communication”- Dan Lok.
Invest time to find someone (or small team) that has the same goals. Push each other forward, in the good and in the bad. Someone that you trust and can be open/honest about new ideas or challenges. This person can be an online stranger. Make it fun.
2. Change environment
You don’t need to hop on a plane. Work from home? Then change rooms. Or go to cafes, libraries, etc. Being stuck in the same space for long periods reduces your creativity levels. Change your surroundings and your energy levels will change for the good.