Thread by @Suzi3D

Very smart people told me: never write about what you are doing in the future, only the past or what is already completed.

I never listened to them

Being real is more important to me than being clever. I'm not reputation or results-driven. I'm love-driven

A personal thread:

Multiple ppl have been needling me to appear on video more

(Observant watchers will have noticed that I have barely made any public appearances this year)

I've turned down nearly all radio and video interview requests in 2020. I've deferred requests to other relevant ppl

2/

The truth is, I've never liked being on video. I've never liked having my picture taken. I don't like fronting campaigns. I spent my life trying to avoid public speaking, or being on a stage.

I use the skills I have only when I feel compelled to do so. And only for 1 reason

3/

That reason is to defend other people. It was defending my home Occupy against media lies & defending other Occupy encampments from infiltration that propelled me into journalism in the 1st place. I interviewed a who's-who of NZ activism & politics without ever fronting a cam

4/

The first time I ever put myself on video was for 'Diary of a Person of Interest' in 2016 which I made out of sheer necessity. Not just to explain why I was living in exile, but because I was trying to stop other targets going through what I had. I filmed it alone & petrified

5/

In the years since, I have never put myself on video frivolously. It's always been out of a feeling of being compelled to defend targets, to educate targets, or to pass on vital information about my situation. I've done that all I can. I don't want to have to do it any more.

6/

Some ppl have questioned why my family aren't on Twitter advocating for me "like other whistleblowers". My mother is a 3x cancer survivor. I don't want her to have to front media/trolls. My family have been incredibly supportive to me, privately, to the extent they're able

7/

I'm incredibly grateful to *everyone* who has supported me, but I've hated living off donations & needing ppl's support. In NZ, I looked after others, provided for them & I far preferred it that way. I have skills beyond activism & journalism & its time to dust them off.

8/

There are so many wonderful people that I've met and interacted with through this platform in the last decade. I don't forget any of you. I won't forget any of you. But this platform is dying. I've been asking you your feelings about that, and taking note of them carefully.

9/

The censorship, manipulation and violations of our user data are so egregious and only getting worse. I've been so aggrieved at watching the contrived emaciation of the reach of independent media & those who support it, that I literally made a list of what's been happening.

10/

My legal situation has dragged on for years & may well drag on for years more. I don't want to spend that time begging for donations. Nor do I want to spend it advocating for myself. My heart has always been with advocating for other people. Love is action, like Julian said.

11/

I have 1 last article in me then I'm done with journalism for the foreseeable future. The research spanned years and the framework is done but not the writing. It will come out eventually but is not a priority for me at this time. I'll wait for a moment when its truly needed

12/

I never wanted to be a news writer (or a newsletter writer); to write because I had to, or because I needed money; to jump on bandwagons or what's 'hot' right now; or on topics I couldn't confidently claim a deep expertise in. It feels right to put my writing life behind me

13/

...just as it feels right to put any 'public' life behind me.

If a situation occurs where I can throw some weight around in defense of someone who really, really, really needs *me* to do it, I will likely jump in the fray. But I don't feel needed in that way at present.

14/

I want to do different things... am already doing different things... and will be for a while to come.

Those things are in service to us all, as ever, just in a very different way.

The second I can deliver solutions, I will be. You'll know when. Til then...

Much love

Suzie