Thread: When I went to Notre Dame, we elected a king as student body president. Robert Calhoun 'King' Kersten was a junior from Fort Dodge. Iowa, who ran a brilliant campaign as a satire of student politics. His campaign office was a bathroom stall in Walsh Hall.
Kersten, who had long blond hair, wore Hawaiian shirts and flip flops through the South Bend winters. He campaigned on the platform of an Enlightened Oligarchy. His King campaign wardrobe was an ornate Catholic priest's vestment and a cardboard Burger King crown...
He had a team of writers and performers that included Dennis 'H-Man' Eitienne of Tell City, Indiana, a smart smalltown hippie who wore Oshkosh overalls. They came up with stunts like having Kersten's voice speak from a burning wastebasket atop a building.
They realized that while student govt bylaws required that a candidate for President have a VP, nothing required that it be a Notre Dame student. Or a human. Kersten trained a kitten to sit on his shoulder. Named it Uncandidate The Cat. Promised if elected it would be his VP
He would make campaign appearances courtside at basketball games in his wardrobe with the cat on his shoulder, surrounded by students in suits with black shirts, white ties and fedoras carrying violin cases, and a hunchbacked kid, a friend of mine from Cleveland named Brennan...
...who'd wear an Obi-Wan robe and sweep The King's path with a broom. Students gave him standing ovations. He and Uncandidate got coverage in Time and Newsweek. The King and the Cat won in a landslide. Losing candidates, who took student govt and their roles in it seriously...
Could not believe how they'd been clowned by a pre-med who did not take student government seriously. At all. Oh but he in fact did. Kersten and his crew were serious about clowning the Little Hitlers and JFK Wannabes who typically ran for Student Body Prez...
...with support from big city cliques who marginalized smalltowners and minority students (unless they were athletes). Kersten was not an idiot. He knew how a Student Body King credit would burnish his application to Med School. He did an okay job as King.
There was no noticeable difference in how student government operated, with one exception. It was way more entertaining that it had ever been, with the King making proclamations, Uncandidate issuing press releases, and H-Man assuming an unofficial role as the Royal Advisor.
I knew the King. He'd hitch rides with a group of us over the holidays to visit friends in Bloomington, at IU. We mostly listened to and talked about music. I only remember asking him one time about governing as an Enlightened Oligarch.
He said, "It started as a joke. A platform we could get published in the Observer (ND's student paper) and laugh about. When I got elected, I only wanted to get one thing done. One thing I was passionate about...."
"I wanted the Beach Boys to play a concert at Notre Dame." The King got his way. The Beach Boys played at Notre Dame. Kersten was so popular that even though his name wasn't on the ballot the following year, he got re-elected with write-in votes. Another landslide.
He abdicated right away. Student govt bylaws did not cover kings abdicating, so he was able to get his faithful sidekick, H-Man, installed as Student Body President. H-Man was a good leader who governed wisely, with humor and humility, and the full support of the King.
I've been thinking of this story a lot the closer we get to Nov 3. In 2016, we let a guy in a cardboard crown clown his way to the White House. People played along in amazing numbers. It was a media sensation. The parallels end there.
Kersten wanted to be a doctor and help the disabled. Wannabe King disses doctors and makes fun of the disabled. One United us. The other divides us. One of them was in it for the music. The other is in it for himself.
One was joking, we all played along, and no one got hurt. This is no joke, and anyone who believes it is will be doomed to wait a very long time for a bus that will never arrive. #VOTE #USElection2020 #kingkersten #HMan
Games of the Wannabe King are repurposed college pranks, now with real weapons.
King Kersten and Uncandidate The Cat 
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