There's this thing I've noticed that happens when friends of my father reach out with sympathy over his passing - I almost get put in the role of consoling them more than they me.
(this is not a complaint. It is an observation.)
(this is not a complaint. It is an observation.)
It's like I become this proxy for them to say goodbye to him. And they want to become this proxy for everything he told them about me. They all want to make sure I know how much he talked about me.
And that helps, it really does. And I'm sure it helps them. But...
And that helps, it really does. And I'm sure it helps them. But...
one thing does doesn't really let me be is angry. And let me tell you, when this happens under these circumastances, a very prominent emotion is ANGER.
A friend reached out via email yesterday and led by sharing their anger and their empathy for mine and it was SO freeing.
A friend reached out via email yesterday and led by sharing their anger and their empathy for mine and it was SO freeing.
I don't really have a profound statement except to say that if you're ever in that position, know that you can make someone feel good by making them feel safe to be completely raw about how they feel.
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