so I have coped with my Dad's death this week by actually doing some writing. It's been a good release, but there's this surreal aspect to grieving and engaging with grieving people on social media. Me being me, I can't stop rewriting it all as a CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM ep
And so I give you...
INT. GREENE HOUSEHOLD – DAY
Jeff and Susie Greene are holding a wake. Larry David grazes at the cheese platter, using the same toothpick to poke several successive cheese squares.
SUSIE: Lare! I got a bone to pick with you!
INT. GREENE HOUSEHOLD – DAY
Jeff and Susie Greene are holding a wake. Larry David grazes at the cheese platter, using the same toothpick to poke several successive cheese squares.
SUSIE: Lare! I got a bone to pick with you!
LARRY: Every one I touch with this toothpick is going straight into my mouth.
SUSIE: It’s about the Facebook post.
LARRY: Facebook post?
SUSIE: You liked Jeff’s announcement of his cousin’s death, but not mine!
LARRY: But I "liked" Jeff’s!
SUSIE: It’s about the Facebook post.
LARRY: Facebook post?
SUSIE: You liked Jeff’s announcement of his cousin’s death, but not mine!
LARRY: But I "liked" Jeff’s!
SUSIE: Jeff just reposted the obituary! I wrote a very personal, very deep recollection of the kind of man he was and you couldn’t even give it a little click.
LARRY: I didn’t even see your post! Maybe you put yours up after. Maybe I wasn't on there when you posted
LARRY: I didn’t even see your post! Maybe you put yours up after. Maybe I wasn't on there when you posted
SUSIE: Jeff’s post was up second. If you saw his, you should have seen mine.
LARRY: The algorithm must have buried it!
SUSIE: Oh the algorithm buried it! Look at Mark Zuckerberg here!
LARRY: Why is this an issue?
SUSIE: I think this was personal.
LARRY: The algorithm must have buried it!
SUSIE: Oh the algorithm buried it! Look at Mark Zuckerberg here!
LARRY: Why is this an issue?
SUSIE: I think this was personal.
LARRY: Personal?! It wasn’t even YOUR cousin! It’s Jeff’s!
SUSIE: What? I know the man thirty years, I can’t be sad? I can’t have feelings too?
LARRY: I sent my condolences!
SUSIE: To him, not to me.
LARRY: It doesn’t work that way. You saw I said it to him.
SUSIE: What? I know the man thirty years, I can’t be sad? I can’t have feelings too?
LARRY: I sent my condolences!
SUSIE: To him, not to me.
LARRY: It doesn’t work that way. You saw I said it to him.
SUSIE: It does work that way, Larry! It does! It doesn’t count unless you say it to me.
LARRY: I’m saying it to you now!
SUSIE: Too late, Lare!
Larry whips out his phone.
LARRY: Okay! Fine! You win!
He scrolls Facebook. Flamboyantly clicks Like.
LARRY: I’m saying it to you now!
SUSIE: Too late, Lare!
Larry whips out his phone.
LARRY: Okay! Fine! You win!
He scrolls Facebook. Flamboyantly clicks Like.
LARRY: Happy! Have I expressed my sympathy appropriately?
Susie checks her phone.
SUSIE: A “Like” is the bare minimum, Larry. Try a hug. Or a cry face. And it wouldn't kill you to retweet it!
LARRY: I have to retweet too? No, I refuse. you get ONE expression of sympathy
Susie checks her phone.
SUSIE: A “Like” is the bare minimum, Larry. Try a hug. Or a cry face. And it wouldn't kill you to retweet it!
LARRY: I have to retweet too? No, I refuse. you get ONE expression of sympathy
SUSIE: I'm so sorry my grieving is an imposition to you, you four-eyed bald fuck.
LARRY: ah, go fuck yourself!
He stomps off
LARRY: I'm so sorry for your loss.
LARRY: ah, go fuck yourself!
He stomps off
LARRY: I'm so sorry for your loss.
And for the evening crowd, the more serious piece I've written: "What it's like when your dad is going to die that morning."
It felt good to write about this.
thebitterscriptreader.blogspot.com/2020/11/what-i…
It felt good to write about this.
thebitterscriptreader.blogspot.com/2020/11/what-i…
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