The MD guide to the 40 greatest 70s household dangers. In order.
Number 40
A car battery permanently on charge. On the kitchen table. Sparking and giving off fumes that made the dog wobble. And leaking sulphuric acid.
Number 40
A car battery permanently on charge. On the kitchen table. Sparking and giving off fumes that made the dog wobble. And leaking sulphuric acid.
Number 39
The sixpence in the Christmas pudding. Chipped teeth, emergency deployment of the Heimlich maneuver and various nasty conditions caused by 'retrieving' the accidentally swallowed coin.
The sixpence in the Christmas pudding. Chipped teeth, emergency deployment of the Heimlich maneuver and various nasty conditions caused by 'retrieving' the accidentally swallowed coin.
Number 38
Dental mayhem. Fillings ragged out with a rogue Toffo. Lose teeth removed with a bit of string and a door handle.
Dental mayhem. Fillings ragged out with a rogue Toffo. Lose teeth removed with a bit of string and a door handle.
Number 37
KILLER STOOLS!
KILLER STOOLS!
Number 36
Darts. Leathally sharp heavy brass projectiles + evil cousins juiced up on e-numbers do not a good combination make.
Darts. Leathally sharp heavy brass projectiles + evil cousins juiced up on e-numbers do not a good combination make.
Number 35
Piles. Sitting on anything cold definitely gave you piles. Everything in the 70s was cold. hence, chalfonts galore. Led to Johnny Giles being the most famous name in 70s football.
Piles. Sitting on anything cold definitely gave you piles. Everything in the 70s was cold. hence, chalfonts galore. Led to Johnny Giles being the most famous name in 70s football.
Number 34
The pogo stick. Slightly tipsy, excitable, tubby aunties + shiny lino floor = a mouthful of formica worktop.
The pogo stick. Slightly tipsy, excitable, tubby aunties + shiny lino floor = a mouthful of formica worktop.
Number 33
Missing the Rawlplug with the screw. Everything was loose and eventually fell down in the 70s. Amusing when the clock fell on the dog. Less so when the kitchen crockery cupboard fell down in the middle of the night
Missing the Rawlplug with the screw. Everything was loose and eventually fell down in the 70s. Amusing when the clock fell on the dog. Less so when the kitchen crockery cupboard fell down in the middle of the night
Number 32
Fatal floor. YOU MIGHT AS WELL SET A MANTRAP!
Fatal floor. YOU MIGHT AS WELL SET A MANTRAP!
Number 31
Platform shoes. Ankle breakers.
Platform shoes. Ankle breakers.
Number 30
Last in the bath. At best, verrucas. At worst, conjunctivitis. Mild hypothermia a danger in the winter.
Last in the bath. At best, verrucas. At worst, conjunctivitis. Mild hypothermia a danger in the winter.
Number 29
The Ronco Trimcomb - The Family Barber. 'Save on expensive barber bills'. Ripped hair out by the roots.
The Ronco Trimcomb - The Family Barber. 'Save on expensive barber bills'. Ripped hair out by the roots.
Number 28
The cunning foil fuse in the plug replacement
The cunning foil fuse in the plug replacement
Number 27
The rusty Slinky. Tetanus in a box.
The rusty Slinky. Tetanus in a box.
Number 26
A crossbow. Bought on HP from the Kays Catalogue. Weaponry on HP for the masses.
A crossbow. Bought on HP from the Kays Catalogue. Weaponry on HP for the masses.
Number 25
Scholls. The always available weapon.
Scholls. The always available weapon.
Number 24
The Paraffin Heater.
The Paraffin Heater.
Number 23
'Mushroom' foraging. Great fun out in the open. Tasted a bit funny with the chips but went down OK. Followed by an evening of family vomiting, diarrhea and terrifying hallucinations.
'Mushroom' foraging. Great fun out in the open. Tasted a bit funny with the chips but went down OK. Followed by an evening of family vomiting, diarrhea and terrifying hallucinations.
Number 22
Passive smoking. Nicotine life.
Passive smoking. Nicotine life.
Number 21
STOVES!
STOVES!
Number 20
The working class shower. Burnt scalp with a side order of waterboarding.
The working class shower. Burnt scalp with a side order of waterboarding.
Number 19
Clackers. Broken wrists or shrapnel injuries. Take your pick.
Clackers. Broken wrists or shrapnel injuries. Take your pick.
Number 18
The rotary whisk. The weapon of choice in sibling household disputes. Caused our sisters hair to be almost shaved. Twice.
The rotary whisk. The weapon of choice in sibling household disputes. Caused our sisters hair to be almost shaved. Twice.
Number 17
Bubbly. Deadly if swallowed. Something to do with getting caught around your kidneys/appendix/rib cage.
Bubbly. Deadly if swallowed. Something to do with getting caught around your kidneys/appendix/rib cage.
Number 16
The Chopper bike. Worshipped by wide-eyed kids. DEATHTRAPS according to killjoy adults.
The Chopper bike. Worshipped by wide-eyed kids. DEATHTRAPS according to killjoy adults.
Number 15
The Chipomatic. Da won it in a raffle. Came out of the box to gasps from the family, immediately realising the potential for carnage. Boxed up by Ma and never seen again.
The Chipomatic. Da won it in a raffle. Came out of the box to gasps from the family, immediately realising the potential for carnage. Boxed up by Ma and never seen again.
Number 14
The sinister pressure cooker. We were terrified of it. A bomb in every kitchen.
The sinister pressure cooker. We were terrified of it. A bomb in every kitchen.
Number 13
Mild alcohol poisoning from drinking the stuff that nobody else would touch while babysitting
Mild alcohol poisoning from drinking the stuff that nobody else would touch while babysitting
Number 12
The ubiquitous pellet gun.
The ubiquitous pellet gun.
Number 11
The electric blanket
The electric blanket
Number 10
The Superser calor gas heater. In the hall for 'central' heating. The upside: very efficient. The downside: made the house smell like a scrapyard.
The Superser calor gas heater. In the hall for 'central' heating. The upside: very efficient. The downside: made the house smell like a scrapyard.
Number 9
The bathroom ceiling heater. Could only be used for 10 mins before it tripped out the whole house. Sometimes the whole street. Loosely fitted ABOVE THE BATH
The bathroom ceiling heater. Could only be used for 10 mins before it tripped out the whole house. Sometimes the whole street. Loosely fitted ABOVE THE BATH
Number 8
The coal effect fire. Established the myth that it was fine to touch hot coal. Electric shocks galore. Gave off worrying 'dry' heat.
The coal effect fire. Established the myth that it was fine to touch hot coal. Electric shocks galore. Gave off worrying 'dry' heat.
Number 7
Vosene. Thankfully, the original formula is now banned under the Geneva convention.
Vosene. Thankfully, the original formula is now banned under the Geneva convention.
Number 6
The powered mangle. Devoid of a single safety feature. Those were the days.
The powered mangle. Devoid of a single safety feature. Those were the days.
Number 5
CALL THE POLICE!
CALL THE POLICE!
Number 4
The mysterious immersion heater. Genuinely believing that putting it on for more than 10 mins would decimate the family finances forever. And leaving it on for more than 15 minutes would blow up the entire street. "WHO LEFT THE BASTARD IMMERSION ON ?!?"
The mysterious immersion heater. Genuinely believing that putting it on for more than 10 mins would decimate the family finances forever. And leaving it on for more than 15 minutes would blow up the entire street. "WHO LEFT THE BASTARD IMMERSION ON ?!?"
Number 3
The electric carving knife
The self-proclaimed ‘head of the house’ wobbling in from the pub, insisting that he cuts the roast. 10 mins later: at best struggling to pick up his knife and fork with his bandaged hands. At worst, looking for his finger-end in the gravy.
The electric carving knife
The self-proclaimed ‘head of the house’ wobbling in from the pub, insisting that he cuts the roast. 10 mins later: at best struggling to pick up his knife and fork with his bandaged hands. At worst, looking for his finger-end in the gravy.
Number 2
Drawing the fire. What could possibly go wrong?
Drawing the fire. What could possibly go wrong?
****Number 1****
The chip pan. Caught fire so often, it wasn't even an event when it did. Never cleaned. To wash it would be to kill it. Produced the best chips on the planet.
The chip pan. Caught fire so often, it wasn't even an event when it did. Never cleaned. To wash it would be to kill it. Produced the best chips on the planet.
The 70’s
“IT’S A PERFECT PLACE....FOR AN ACCIDENT”.
“IT’S A PERFECT PLACE....FOR AN ACCIDENT”.
Full coal effect fire thread here:
https://twitter.com/memorialdevice/status/1086686179628670977?s=20
Full working class shower thread here:
https://twitter.com/memorialdevice/status/1087474327866564608?s=20
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