My dad is cooking dinner for a lady friend tonight (I know — ooooooooooooo)

My mother was a self-taught chef. So this whole “cooking” thing is new to him. But I introduced him to the simple-yet-fancy, easy-to-follow recipes of @inagarten, and he’s giving it a go.

So far...
...He’s learned to make a beet & orange salad, like a champ! He asks hilarious questions. Thank god for FaceTime. Explaining zesting is hard.

Btw he has ordered like all 12 Ina Garten cookbooks, because dad

Today he’s trying to do her famous filet Mignon with mushrooms/mustard
Today’s FaceTime questions so far:

- Which skillet to use? Skillet runway show, hilarious
- is this the right mushroom?
- which pan goes in the oven?
- how do I turn the oven on?
- are you sure it’s on?
- how do I turn it off?
- do the shallots have to go in the fridge?
Somewhere, my mom is really laughing about all this, like she would mocking amateur cooking competitions.

“For god sakes! It’s just an onion!”

“Cremini is just a fancy button mushroom!”

“Cast iron goes in the oven! That’s the whole point!”

“Never use the broiler pan!”
I hope she’s swirling a fancy cocktail and sitting with her friend Sue and laughing with tears rolling down her face

“Look! He’s zesting again! But that’s parsley!” 😂😂
UPDATE: apparently the mushrooms were too crispy and there was a little too much salt in the sauce — and it will probably take dad a week to do the dishes — but overall, he managed to deliver edible food to his lady-friend!

So proud 😭

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with Molly McKew

Molly McKew Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @MollyMcKew

11 Nov
POTUS has nothing else on sched today but is nonetheless late to Arlington National Cemetery to honor veterans on Veterans Day, keeping decorated veterans, their families, and others waiting in the rain, not understanding the significance of the day, hour, minute of commemoration Image
Stayed for a total of 6 minutes.
And yes this was the split screen.

Guess which ceremony commenced on time? Image
Read 4 tweets
10 Nov
The party that Newt built has no leadership. It is captive to the whims of whichever mob is loudest — an energy cultivated and stoked by right wing media and ideologue billionaires. No one has been in charge for years.

This is why they almost all play along with this madness.
Perhaps the defining moment of the end of the Republican caucus was when Boehner was like “screw this, I’m outta here, y’all have fun with these Freedom caucus yay-hoos, I’m gonna go swill wine and invest in cannabis” and no one — literally no one — wanted his job. No one.
It’s like being the bus driver of a school bus with no steering wheel or brakes: you’re responsible for the safety of the people in the bus, but you’re not in control of it at all, you can just beg them to sit down and tell them to stop throwing boogers at you & each other
Read 12 tweets
9 Nov
The Hallmark Channel has already started nonstop cheesy Christmas romance movies. Just saying.

And yes, I have it on, because my dad watches them, and calls to ask if I am watching. He loves them.
Guys, the small-town bakery convinced the ivy-league consulting-world corporate suit not to automate the factory, love ensued

Next: single teacher mom battling insurance co/crushing medical debt from death of beloved father, finds love

The Hallmark channel is the Marvel we need
The vulture medical debt industry was vanquished by scrappy upstarts and love and Christmas!

Next up: something with a veterinarian. There will be many cute animals, no doubt.
Read 4 tweets
7 Nov
WARNING: Trumpworld — incl
stars Bannon, Flynn’s lawyer, Papadapoulos, Bin Laden’s daughter — are alleging a secret NSA program designed by Obama has been used to “switch 3% of votes”

None of this is real, nor does it make sense. They want Barr/“military intel” to investigate
Of course they are connecting it to the “Russia hoax” and the “Biden laptop from hell” because these f***ing people are the absolute g*****n worst

There is no coup. There is no electronic coup. These people will push an unstable POTUS to do something dangerous in coming weeks.
And hey, let’s make sure we understand this is an attack on the whole system, as they allege Democrats, Republican state legislatures, the intelligence community are all in on the plot/turning a blind eye to the “coup”

No. No no no.

Republicans need to call this sh*t out now.
Read 8 tweets
3 Nov
Don Jr thinks the Black Sea is a country 👍 and also that foreign countries vote in American elections — which explains a lot
He also thinks the Caspian is a country and Armenia is water

Sorry, Armenian voters. You sank.
I guess this piece of Ukraine seceded?
Read 6 tweets
29 Oct
Russian hackers have laid the groundwork for significant disruptions after the US election, including targeting US hospitals and healthcare systems.

“We expect panic,” they say.

Are we better prepared than 2016? Maybe.

Via @RenewGreatPower

greatpower.us/p/we-expect-pa…
Be sure to read this post, too, which has more details on the types of attacks Kremlin hackers can conduct:

greatpower.us/p/the-newest-g…
Subscribe now to greatpower.us with this special rate!

greatpower.us/4134a687
Read 4 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!