in order to get to the top of a (metaphorical) mountain,

1. a part of you must want to
1a, 1b, 1c, 1d. mountaineering training, bla bla, conditioning, fuel, the stuff people focus on

2. the part of you that *doesn't* want to, mustn't sabotage the part of you that wants to
most of the time when I have conversations with people who are trying to achieve something, or say they are, I find that both 1 and 2 are insufficiently discussed. they aren't made sufficiently precise, emphatic, clear

it's often a lot of rambling about logistics and planning
the part of you that doesn't want to do it is typically trying to keep you safe.

i'll say it: there's a part of me that doesn't want to publish any more ebooks or content bc it feels nice and safe for me to just hang out here, guy who has released 1 book that people kinda like
for me to publish the second book, yea sure I could talk about my daily schedule and my editing plan and bla bla bla

but then when I sit down to write nothing happens

it's because Worrier Visa is worried that the book will suck, and he's actively trying to sabotage my efforts
it's a legitimate worry! so I have to sit down and have that conversation with him and walk him through all of his worries – and not just make reassuring noises (meant to dismiss), but *actually* get into the meat-and-potatoes (what? lol) of the issues he's concerned about
I've probably procrastinated about 2-3 months longer than I otherwise would've because at some level I refused to even believe that that might be the issue. Like, receiving a cal invite from Worrier Visa and ignoring it because lmao what could that guy possibly have to say
I guess I've gotten very protective and attached to this nice pleasant zone of my life I'm currently in. but I have to let it go, as with everything else


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More from @visakanv

12 Nov
I married the first person I dated, which either means I am extremely lucky or extremely successful at dating

I do think I have a habit of getting extremely lucky in quite a range of domains
"what else have you been lucky with?"

1. employment. I only ever had 1 serious job, and it was with a great boss who I admire, who sought me out bc he liked my blog. made good $$, learned a ton, he was like a therapist-coach who paid *me*, great relationships with ex-colleagues
2. twitter. how tf do I have 25,000 twitter followers from around the world? I'm just some random nerd from singapore. I don't have any qualifications. I never went to college. where I am is a function of the merit of my thoughts, my A+ reply game, & my sensitivity to opportunity
Read 9 tweets
12 Nov
National Museum of African American History and Culture

(📷: Jahi Chikwendiu, Walter Larrimore, Eric Long, Jason Flakes)
apologies to photographers, I'm just going through google image search now

sao paulo's museum of art, pics by romullo baratto…
Read 5 tweets
12 Nov
the generic art museum aesthetic is one of the worst aesthetics I can think of.

it’s bizzare to me how many people have agreed collectively that yes, this is how art is to be appreciated: atomized & isolated, abducted from their homes & displayed like dismembered body parts
It varies tremendously depending on what you‘re really trying to do. If it’s to appreciate a certain kind of art, I’d prefer a more organic, lived-in scenario with actual artists hanging around and working. Contrast the classroom vs how real learning happens
the National Gallery of Singapore is pretty cool – it does have some of the same white cube aesthetic, but it's also the former Supreme Court and you can feel the weight of the history in that
Read 4 tweets
12 Nov
for a good 22+ years, I never really had anybody I admired or respected in my life who would teach me how to become the person I wanted to be
for people who don't understand how/why I tweet the way I do, this is a big part of it
"it's so arrogant of you to talk like what you say matters"

I can see how it might look that way, but I made a promise to a lonely child that I would publicly share what I know – and keeping that promise matters more to me than what strangers think of me
Read 4 tweets
12 Nov
it’s interesting to consider the role of gender in the character archetypes of Terry and Rosa. Terry is the big, tall muscular behemoth of a man who’s a total softie. Rosa is a murderous flower. Imagine gender-swapping the characters- it would be less compelling, too flat
A guy walking around the office with huge knives and axes with a grumpy-vengeful disposition becomes much more of a worrisome risk I think. I don’t think guys get to do this. You have to soften the edge somehow, the way Dr. House does at least. You can’t use as much venom IMO
Read 6 tweets
12 Nov
for a period of time when I was in the military, I was assigned to be a storeman, ie responsible for a bunch of equipment. My boss was a “civilian” - who was really a semi-retired non-commissioned officer- iirc he was the first regimental sergeant major of singapore’s commandos
which is to say, he had a legendary status. a way to contextualize it: he would have been the RSM - the discipline master, the king of drill sargeant as - when the chief commando (a brigadier general) was a mere recruit. So everyone was afraid of this guy
My job was to keep stuff neat and in order, fill out a logbook, bunch of little things like that - I understudied the previous guy who was finishing his service.

At the end of the month, the Legend barks at me: Visa!! Where is your t-loan file??

I’m like, wtf is a t-loan file
Read 10 tweets

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