Thread by @dr_saxelrath

4 years ago tomorrow would have been my 1st #residency interview, at @mghmedres. I know this because 4 years ago today my dad died unexpectedly in Denver while I was in Boston. I cancelled the interview from the tarmac at 6am the day of, and flew home.

It’s a whole 🧵

2/ This will not be a memorial thread about how much I love and miss my dad, although I do and I do. Weirdly, this is a @mghmedres appreciation and #medstudenttwitter celebration thread. Bear with me.

3/ I was home for 8 days after my dad died. In those 8 days I missed 6 interviews. 3 programs offered their sympathy and little else. The other 3 offered whatever it damn well took to get me rescheduled and to support me in doing what I needed to do - interview.

4/ @mghmedres was supposed to be my first residency interview, but after all the rescheduling logistics played out it ended up being my last - 2 months later, in mid-January. I was so beat down, exhausted, and heartbroken by that point I almost cancelled. On a whim, I didn’t.

5/ On interview day they pulled out stops to show me that they valued my interest and were glad I was able to be there. My interview with @markeisenberg16 sealed the deal and with only mild existential fretting, I knew my top rank.

6/ This is a thread for #medstudenttwitter, as MS4s start interviewing for residency. Prior to this extenuating nightmare of a circumstance, I had NEVER NOT ONCE felt wanted or valued in medicine. I spent 4 years of med school wondering when my “oops jk” letter would arrive.

7/ I tiptoed around administration like they might expel me for the mildest of all inconveniences, because what right did I have to be there anyway? In my mind, I had barely slipped under the wire, every time. There was little objective evidence of this, but I felt it deeply.

8/ Silver lining of the worst fucking thing that ever happened to me: I was forced to take up some SPACE for the first time in my goddamn life. I inconvenienced people. Not on purpose, but I couldn’t exactly apologize for the circumstances. 🤷‍♀️ Unexpectedly, @mghmedres made space.

9/ To be fair, 50% of programs didn’t. And while those programs will remain gracefully unnamed on the internet, I remember them perfectly. I’m grateful to them for showing me, up front, how they’d go to bat for me. Saved me a lot on parking fees in the long run.

10/ Anyway. Take-away points are these:

1. Do ask in interviews how programs deal with family/medical leave, because bad shit happens and you want to know your program will have your back when the going gets tough. With my N=6, 50% won’t. Fuck those programs off right now.

11/ Do not be tricked into thinking you need to squish yourself into the tiniest, most polite and accommodating, loathe-to-inconvenience-someone-even-in-the-case-of-your-own-father’s-untimely-demise, sliver of nothingness in order to have a chance in this game. That’s false.

12/ Do look for the program that will make space for you. That WANTS and WORKS to make you feel welcome and included. And when other programs show you who they are, believe them the first time and don’t assume you’ll be treated better as a resident than you were as an applicant.

13/ When you’ve lived with imposter syndrome, it’s easy to fall into the scarcity mindset that you have to gratefully accept any old thing that comes along.

YOU DON’T.

The right program will want you and show it. And when they show it - try, for God’s sake, to believe them.