Thread by @sapphixy

Tonight #sapphixywatches Clue (1985), based on the murder mystery board game of the same name*

*At least, in North America; I'm given to understand in Fucking Narnia Or Some Shit it's sold under the name "Cluedo" for reasons only known to lawyers and marketing

This movie is notable for having been distributed with three different endings, so if you and a friend went to see it at different theaters you might end up arguing with each other over the ending.

Home release versions include all three, with two presented as possible endings and the third (one where each suspect was involved in one murder) presented as the true ending.

We first meet Wadsworth (Tim Curry), Mr Boddy's butler (Mr Boddy is the victim in the board game), as he returns to the estate

It's a period piece, incidentally, set during the McCarthy era; this is relevant to the plot

Specifically, per a caption, in 1954

And damn but Tim Curry looks almost boyish

And Martin Mull appears, playing Colonel Mustard

It's been probably 25 years since I last watched this, and I'm delighted to note that the flooring in the Boddy mansion hallway rather resembles the board game's hallway tile background in the edition my family played when I was small

Mrs Blanche White (Madeline Kahn), dressed in mourning black, complete with a veil, is the next to arrive

Professor Plum (Christopher Lloyd) and Miss Scarlet (Lesley Ann Warren) appear next, still on the road, as the Professor finds her broken down on the side of the road and gives her a ride to the estate

Mrs Peacock (Eileen Brennan) has arrived in the meantime

I do confess, I personally would have liked them to have had wardrobes matching their color names, but that's a quibble, really

Mr Green (Michael McKean) has arrived and been welcomed indoors before Scarlet and Plum arrive

Scarlet's coat probably deserves its own credit

"I'm merely a humble butler, sir."
"What exactly do you do?"
"I buttle, sir."

"Do you like Kipling, Miss Scarlet?"
"Sure, I'll eat anything."

Miss Scarlet: "you're damn right I did what I'm being blackmailed for" 😏

"The double negative is proof positive!"

I had forgotten how much fun the dialogue is

"Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?"
"I'm afraid you don't need any help from me, sir."

"He had threatened to kill me in public."
"Why would he want to kill you in public?"

"Do you miss him?"
"Oh, it's a matter of life after death. Now that he's dead, I have a life."

"Your first husband also disappeared."
"Well, that was his job. He was an illusionist."
"But he never reappeared!"
"He wasn't a very good illusionist."

And all of the classic board game weapons have been introduced: candlestick, lead pipe, rope, wrench, gun, and knife

According to IMDb, the set was laid out like the board game, with each of the suspect rooms in the correct place relative to each other and the central hallway

"To make a long story short—"
"Too late."

"How many husbands have you had?"
"Mine or other women's?"
"Yours."
"Five."
"Five?!"
"Husbands should be like Kleenex: strong and disposable."

"Flies are where men are most vulnerable."

"I suggest we take the cook's body into the study."
"Why?"
"I'm the butler. I like to keep the kitchen tidy."

"Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage."

"Everything alright?"
"Yup, two corpses, everything's fine."

"What are you afraid of? A fate worse than death?"
"No, just death, isn't that enough?"

I love that they included the secret passages

The random singing telegram!

"WILL YOU STOP THAT!"
"No."

"How did you know that?"
"Can you keep a secret?"
"Yes."
"So can I."

That's Ending A done

"There's still one thing I don't understand."
"*One* thing?"

"Is the FBI in the business of cleaning up multiple murder?"
"Yes. Why do you think it's run by a man named Hoover?"

"I was going to expose you!"
"I know. So I'm going to expose myself."

"Are you a cop?"
"No, I'm a plant."
"A plant? I thought men like you were usually called a fruit."

Ah, what a delightful, and delightfully quotable, movie

Murder by Death! That's another delightful spoof I should livetweet

https://twitter.com/JWOLFFH/status/1327808370376577030