As always with questions of Trump and democracy, we're bogging down in a false binary.
"Coup" language is too simplistic to describe violating the norm of accepting the results of an election you have lost. Democratic erosion can result without a "coup."
1. Trump violates key democratic norms 2. People get worried 3. Some go too far and say dictator, coup, etc. 4. Other people point to #3 and say everything is fine b/c he's not a dictator, it's not a coup, etc.
In reality, democracy is not binary!
Democracy exists on a continuum; it is not binary. Democratic erosion can take place even if we ultimately have a peaceful transfer of power. It doesn't require dictators or coups. This more subtle form of erosion is now more common - and a greater threat to our system of govt.