Personal Finance: Lessons My Wife Taught Me

‘The goal in marriage is not to think alike but to think together’- Robert C. Dodds

Before I got married, I could buy tomorrow on credit. As a young banker then, there were many temptations to live large.
I had access to credit facilities by virtue of where I work. Many peddlers of consumables also gave the opportunity of buying on credit- buy now and pay later. Many would collect post-dated cheques and allow you walk away with items of your choice.
I knew quite a few of my contemporaries then whose stories were similar- they wore shirts and suits on credit, took a loan to buy their cars and went for vacation at exotic destinations on credit.
There was immense peer pressure as we all wanted what the other person had even if we had to borrow to have them.
The creditors waited for payday just like us. They all knew we would receive our salary credits by the 25th. By the time each one of them showed up, the salary was finished. We usually joke among ourselves that one could only live large during the week when salary was paid.
After that week, we went back to living from hand to mouth. Most salary earners are poor managers of their finances mostly because they expect that salaries are guaranteed. They hardly have savings set aside and this is why when a job loss occurs, their world come crashing.
Getting married changed my perspective on personal finance and through working together with my wife, I was able to get a better hang of my finances. We’ve been married 18 years and I want to share a few personal finance lessons I imbibed during this period.
1. If rent is more than one month’s salary, then the house is too big for us to live.

Let me explain. We jointly arrived at this resolution when we got married. We wanted to be able to pay for our rent from one month’s salary.
The house I lived in at that time cost an annual rent of N27,000. It was a 2-bedroom flat at Ashi, Ibadan. My monthly salary was N33,000. Consequently, each time rent was due, I paid from my monthly salary.
The only time I have had to save in order to pay my rent was when I just moved to Lagos- and that was once.
I believe it is foolish to have to accumulate months of salaries or income just to be able to afford rent. There is no point renting a duplex and having plastic chairs as furniture- you simply can’t afford it. If it’s not your size, wait till the time when you grow up to it.
Look for an area that is affordable and don’t ‘do pass yourself’.
2. If we cannot pay cash for it, we simply can’t afford it yet.

My wife sat me down when we got married and said, ‘In this house, we will not buy anything on credit’. She knew me. I was impulsive. I wanted the good life NOW.
Each time someone came to my office to sell something to me, I remember my wife’s words (it’s like I hear her voice) and I turn them down. My ‘no’ was feeble initially but it became stronger with time.
No matter how alluring that item is, if we can’t pay cash for it, it means we can’t afford it yet. This is especially for consumables and any item that is non-income generating.
Some will tell you it’s a good deal and so you shouldn’t miss it even if you have to borrow to get it. I tell you it’s a poor deal if you have to borrow to acquire it- except it’s business related and meant to generate income.
3. Little by little, a little becomes a lot

We got married immediately she finished her thesis as an undergraduate. It was after our wedding that she was mobilized for NYSC.
She wasn’t satisfied with earning a corper’s allowance so we put money together and opened a video club in Ibadan. She put together all the food warmers and ceramic plates we were given as presents during our wedding and set up a rental business- along with decorating weddings.
I remember how I carried potted plants and arcs with my car to events and how I used pumps to blow balloons. She later became the administrator at our local church and then administrator at a new school.
Afterwards, she volunteered at a foremost international school in Ibadan (without pay) for almost a year. She actually left a paying job to be a volunteer. She was offered a role as an Assistant Class Teacher and Class Teacher subsequently. She is now a school owner.
She taught me the joy in making steady progress. I learnt from her that every Naira made legitimately counts. She was willing to do anything as long as it supports the home. I saw how she went through the process and learnt that the process is more important than the event.
18 years on, I’m still learning but we are both better now than we were then as we daily make changes as appropriate.

Bayo Adeyinka

Get copies of my books by sending a DM to @Rovingheights. They’ll be delivered directly to your doorsteps.
@threader_app unroll

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with Bayo Adeyinka

Bayo Adeyinka Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @greaterbayo

14 Nov
The Gatekeeper Strategy & Other Ideas - (6)- Activate Youth Wings

The late Bola Ige was once the Secretary of the youth wing of the defunct Action Group. He rose to the peak of his political career- becoming the Governor of Oyo State, a Minister and a Presidential aspirant.
The late Chief Remi Fani-Kayode was the leader of that same youth wing in 1954. He would become a member of the Federal House of Assembly and later the Deputy Premier of the Western Region.
The Action Group youth wing used the mosquito as their symbol and wore black shirts, black berets, black sunglasses and black boots. They marched all over the streets of Lagos demanding independence and resisted colonial rule.
Read 13 tweets
13 Nov
Exactly 6 Years Ago: A Mail From A Protégé

Exactly 6 years ago on November 13, 2014, I received below mail from a colleague at work. I used to run a lot of trainings for my former employer.
That mail came on a day my spirit was very low and it cheered me up. Just want to share the mail.
"Good day sir ,

  I am one the last batch of the newest inductees of the bank. I was so privileged to listen to you talk twice during the training at Ikoyi. I admire you a lot sir and i must say your motivational words have really helped shaped my life.
Read 10 tweets
12 Nov
On ASUU Strike

ASUU has been on strike since March. That's 8 months now. I'm pondering a few questions and I'm seeking honest answers without prejudice.
Are the academic staff paid while on this strike? Or their salaries are withheld by the Government? Why should State-owned universities join Federal universities on strike when they don't have the same employer?
Why are they against the use of IPPIS that much when other public sector workers are on the payment platform? Should an employee insist on the type of platform an employer must use to pay his/her salary? Are state universities on IPPIS too? Are strikes effective nowadays?
Read 16 tweets
11 Nov
Leadership: Think Of How You Can Add Value & Other Lessons 

Exactly 5 years ago, it was my last day at work at my former organization and I sent out a valedictory mail to my team. It was a truly emotional experience.

I hereby share that mail I sent 5 years ago. How time flies.
My dear South West 1 Team,

This is a very emotional moment for me as I know goodbyes are not easy. I want to take this time out to sincerely appreciate each and every one for your support during my brief sojourn leading the team.
I call it a sojourn because life is a journey and not a destination. We will all never 'arrive' in the real sense of it and people must move on at certain periods in their lives. That is exactly what I'm doing. You've all been part of my life just like I have been part of yours.
Read 32 tweets
10 Nov
Personal Finance: Getting Out of Debt (4)

“The only man who sticks closer to you in adversity than a friend is a creditor”- Unknown

I gave some background to how I was highly indebted in Part 1.
I zeroed in on the issue of greed in Part 2 and I focused on the 7 mistakes one needs to avoid while resolving the issue of indebtedness. There is a freedom that lack of indebtedness brings that is simply indescribable.
It was Henry Wadsworth Longfellow who said, “He looks the whole world in the face for he owes not any man”. You won’t be afraid of running into your creditors. You won’t be scared of opening your door when you hear a knock. You won’t constantly watch your back while driving.
Read 35 tweets
3 Nov
The N50,000 Controversy: Never Marry A Man Who Has Television But Has No Vision

When I met my wife, my salary was N33,000 monthly. That was what I earned as an entry level hire then. Yes, I agree that N33,000 that time had more value than the same amount now.
However, to put things in proper perspective, a SIM card around the time when I got married in 2002 was about N20,000. My salary was therefore just a bit more than the cost of a SIM card. I recall that banks actually gave loans to customers to buy 'handsets' then.
My wife was in her final year at Olabisi Onabanjo University when we decided to get married. I was 27 and she was 25. I'd been working for barely two years. I didn't have a car when we started dating but later I was able to 'buy' a Volvo 340 DL through a miraculous intervention.
Read 35 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!